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Need a little help...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Hi Everyone...
I'm quite new to this, but I need to just talk things out. I I see a counsellor at college and we talk things out and she helps me with my issues I guess.
But ever since I have known I just haven't been able to actually say how I feel and things that are going on in my life to anyone really. I'm kind of scared that people will talk about it and judge me for what I do. I'm actually sat alone in my student house wishing there was somebody with me because I'm so lonely. Yet there is no one around that could at least just hang out with me. I have a boyfriend and we've only been going out for a little while so it's just quite new and I've never had a boyfriend before so it's scary but not in a sexual way just in a emotional way. and I don't know I just I feel like I need people to talk to. I don't know what to do. when I'm alone I end up hurting myself and I can't talk to anyone about it because I'm just scared they going to think I'm pathetic I know that loads of people do it and that I'm not alone but it's just so scary and it's not like me because everyone knows me to be so happy and I just don't think people would know what to do ... the only person that knows I harm myself is my counsellor because I just can't talk to anyone about it. I just wanna be able to talk about how I feel in an maybe not feel so alone all the time .

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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Hey,

    I want to say I think you've been very brave in opening up and posting your thoughts and feelings on here. So well done for that. This really is a judgement free zone so no need to worry about that here.

    I ccan relate though to the fear of talking to people as I am exactly the same as you. So you're definitely not alone there and I think a lot of people feel this way.

    Does talking with your counsellor help you and do you find you can be honest with them about how you really feel and what's really going on for you?

    I'm always here if you need to talk!!

    Take care.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi,
    Honestly I can't even tell my councillor how deep it goes because I can't even explain it. And just saying things out loud is probably one of the reasons. Without feeling stupid. I don't want to hold in all the time but I can't even speak about it

    Thank you! It's amazing having people to talk to because I haven't spoke to anyone
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Yeah I know what you mean - saying things out loud is just soooo unnatural (typing is so much easier but even that is difficult at times). You're doing great though!!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Helping Hand
    Hey Ann G :wave:

    ​Just like @independent_ says, you can always come on here and talk. There's no judgement and we are always here to help. Sometimes it's just good to get it all off your chest and clear your thoughts. And most of the time, there's someone who has had a similar experience and can give you some advice.

    ​I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, you are not pathetic and you are very brave. It's good to hear that you have a counsellor to talk to. It can be so hard to open up sometimes but over time, you may find that you are able to talk to them. They can give such good advice and if you have a lot on your mind, it's good to offload it to avoid becoming too overwhelmed with our thoughts and feelings. So try and stick with them. Maybe writing things down before going to a session could help, or even writing this down for the counsellor instead of saying it all?
    ​If not, you can talk to people over the phone instead of face-to-face. Th
    e Samaritans (24hr) 116 123 or MIND (Mon-Fri, 9-6pm). :)


    Starting a relationship can be scary, you are right, but it's exciting too. Maybe as you spend some more time together, he can help you lift your spirits. Doing things together, having a laugh, going out etc. do you think that this could help some of the loneliness?

    ​I've seen above that it seems you feel better typing and talking online? The internet is a great place to met people. You always have to be careful but you can connect with others who have the same things in common on Tumblr or through Facebook groups. Then from there you can go to places that you enjoy and find that you meet people there too.

    Here's some little tips on meeting friends online:
    http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/friendship/make-friends-online-3323.html

    And whenever you feel lonely and in need of hurting yourself, don't hesitate to pick up the phone and call those numbers above Ann!

    ​-PositiveAura:rainbow2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you so much!
    I am going to try writing things down.
    Thanks for the advice it's all useful ❤️
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    PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Helping Hand
    Hey @Ann G that's really good to hear.

    ​Like I say, it can really help to clear your mind to write things down, and sometimes it is easier to explain things this way rather than saying it. I always do this myself.

    ​So you can always come on here to write things down, or you can write it down for yourself, or use it as a way to communicate with your counsellor.

    Let us know how everything goes.

    All the best,

    -PositiveAura:rainbow2:
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