Feel a bit guilty now

One-in-a-million

So last night was New Years eve. We were supposed to have a quiet night but we decided to invite the nabours and it got a little crazy so I thought nothing of it when my mum decided to take the dog upstairs when the new year count down began. I thought with the fireworks and the kids (nabours kids) being round she just took him out the way so he wouldn't be as scared.

I welcomed the new year in with the rest of the family. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks!! Mum wasn't just going out the way because of the dog. She couldn't face bringing new year in because of my nan.

Nan was diagnosed with terminal cancer in November and we don't know how long she has left. But shes so poorly we think that this Christmas was the last one we will have together.

I welcomed the new year in and never thought that we are probably going to loose my nan this year 😔

I celebrated like everything was fine and never thought about it. Up until early December I was the one who couldn't take it in and mum was the one who said "we don't know, we can't get upset when we don't know how long as she could be here for years." But she hasn't got much better like we hoped and are thinking that this year we may loose her.

How could I be so thoughtless about the obvious? I have just about accepted the fact that nan will die from this but I can't help feeling guilty over last night.

I couldn't wait to get rid of 2016 after how crap that year had been. But 2017 might nit be so good either

Sorry guys

Emma

louisa982

Hey emma

First of all, I want to give you a big hug *hug*. I'm so sorry to hear about your nan's diagnosis , it must be really difficult for you and your mum to cope with.
You shouldn't feel guilty about celebrating. Your nan would want you to enjoy yourself.If this is your nan's last year, try and make it her best. Make new and amazing memories and include your mum too. And you don't have to apologise either.

Stay strong

Louisa

Lostsense

Hey lovely💙💚

My aunty also has cancer and we don't know if this was going to be her last Christmas either😢

Former Member

I'm so sorry to hear about your nan, Emma. It is so difficult to be faced with losing someone you love, especially around the holidays. Celebrating the good things can be a good way to focus on the positive things in life. As Louisa said, I can imagine both your nan and your mum want you to be happy and enjoy things.

Have you tried talking to your mum about how she's feeling? Maybe you can talk about the best ways to support each other through this really hard time.

Hope you're doing ok. Keep posting if it's helpful.

One-in-a-million

I never thought of it like that guys thanks
I have somewhat taken it in now, of course it doesn't means it's easy but I have accepted the fact that she won't beat the cancer this time (she had it before and beat it)

I know nan wouldn't want us to be miserable and upset. I haven't hugged her in ages due to how frail she has become and I would love nothing more than be able to do that.

Steph95 I'm so sorry to hear about your auntie I completely understand how you're feeling right now and want to send you big hugs

Thanks guy

Emma

Thanks guys

Lostsense

💚💙

One-in-a-million

Hi guys been in a downer again today
I just don't want to believe that I might loose my nan soon

It doesn't seem fair