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Should I Leave Him?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been with my boyfriend for the best part of 4 years, we met in college, and as cheesy as this sounds, i don't remember life without him.

I suffer from depression (not an excuse i know!) recently kissed a work colleague (silly mistake). I tell myself that its because i was going through a bad phase and wasnt getting enough attention from my boyfriend.

I have told him about it and he said he understands but this is the only time he will ever forgive me, because he looks like a mug but he loves me (his words not mine)

everything was going fine until i sent a txt to my work colleague, with the kissy face emoji at the end of it. The text ws work relatd, and i put it on the end of a 'thanks'

My boyfriend saw the text and now he isnt in the best of moods.

I know he will forgive me over time but what i want to know is, is it worth putting him through all of this again and creating issues in our relationship?

he has stood by me through everything and my whole life revolves around him.
I personally thinking breaking up with him would be whats best for him, but what would you do in this case?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have there been any other cheating incidents during this relationship? What do you mean by putting him through all this again? Are you intending to cheat on him again?

    Do you live together? If so, does anyone else live in the house/flat as well? Do you have any children?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There hasn't been a cheating incident before other than the kiss in my eyes, but I have been flirtatious with other guys in the past. I mean even though this time it was just a text, I know it's hit him the same way, if not worse than it did last time.
    I don't intend on cheating on him again, but i never did last time either..
    And no we don't live together and no kids
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Did the flirting take place during this relationship?

    Would you take things further with your colleague if you were single?

    Do you love your boyfriend?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, probably not, and a lot!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is this the only sexual relationship you've had? If not, did you have the same problem during your previous relationship(s)?

    Why don't you live together? I'm not criticising you, I'm just surprised that a couple who are in love and have been together for nearly 4 years aren't cohabiting.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Sammy,

    I am sorry that you have been suffering from depression, its not easy, and I know how you are feeling. You say that you have been telling yourself that the reason you betrayed your boyfriend was because he didn't give you much attention, is that what you truthfully think is the cause? Have you thought of any other causes such as less physical attraction and not having strong feelings for him? I am not going to lie, it is going to be hard for him to trust you again, and I think in this moment in time, the wise thing to do, would be, give him time to process what has happened. If I were you, I would also talk about your depression, and how he can support you, and give you the attention you need. I think its important that you feel like you can rely on him when you are feeling down, rather than other guys.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can you stop jumping at my throat every time I post something? Its getting annoying. Please read carefully before reaching your own conclusions, I never said she doesn't have strong feelings for him, that was an example. How is it trying to get into an argument with me helpful to her right now? -.-'
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