Helping Each Other

The MixThe Mix Staff teamPosts: 2,141 Moderator
edited January 8 in Start Here
Hey everyone,

We thought it would be useful to give some advice around providing help for each other.

We believe that it's important that support is provided in an open, moderated and supportive environment. This provides people who are helping each other with support but avoids the relationship between people becoming too challenging or difficult to handle.

Trying to support someone presenting with difficult emotions and problems is too much for anyone to bear on their own.

Now we can't and wouldn't want to stop people becoming friends and contacting each other outside of the boards or group chat. But if you do, it's important to understand that you are removing yourself from a supported environment. Services like ours and the Samaritans moderate and support the people who take part. They do this because trying to support someone presenting with difficult emotions and problems is too much for anyone to bear on their own. We think the boards and our chats do provide support for people with problems and those helping them. This is through each others experiences and by sharing the load around overwhelming topics.

Helping others can be a really positive and empowering thing. But supporting someone else doesn't make you responsible for what they choose to do. At its most extreme and damaging, people can become so tied into another's problems that they may start to feel they are responsible for someone else. You aren't. And we firmly believe it's through empowerment and personal responsibility, with the support of services, friends, family and others, that people can make changes in their own lives.

If you feel that you're in a situation that isn't helpful for you, or someone else you're trying to help, then you should encourage that person to use the boards or phone or contact other services

It is a personal choice, but bear in mind that providing 1-2-1 help for a person online can mean that the person you are trying to help is going to look for a solution for their problems through you and not access services specifically intended to help in distressing situations (such as the boards or the Samaritans). You can still provide personal help and advice through the boards, but it means you're doing it in a place where other people can chip in to help and where you don't feel you're isolated.

If you feel that you're in a situation that isn't helpful for you, or someone else you're trying to help, then you should encourage that person to use the boards or phone or contact other services. You shouldn't feel it's your responsibility to deal with what is going on and you shouldn't ever feel you can't speak out about what is happening. It's important to look after yourself too :)

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Feel free to comment below with any questions or suggestions.
We're @Aife@Mike, @Italia and @Ed_ - the staff team here at The Mix. We don't provide support via this account, but if you have any questions about the boards or need a hand finding your way around, feel free to drop us a message. Alternatively, you can head over to the Help Desk.
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