Flirting online vs real life

Ed_

The internet can make flirting so much easier, especially in those early days when you aren’t too sure if they like you back or not. :yippe: However, when you actually meet someone it can be incredibly awkward :yeees: :sour: Suddenly the smooth operator online becomes tongue tied offline.

I guess being online makes it easier to express yourself and if it all goes very wrong, you always hold the ‘my friend hacked my account’ card :thumb: but what can be done to make this easier when you meet offline?!

What are your experiences…Have you found it easy or hard to transition offline? What tips do you have for making this a less awkward experience?

Former Member

I know of someone who was flirting online with a girl from Tinder for a whole month - then when they went to meet, they decided on a time and location but the day before that date arrived, it became clear she had no intention of meeting up - and the conversation went cold. I'll always be curious about what stopped her because until that point she seemed really keen. I wonder if anyone else has been in that position on either side?

Former Member

I think it's very much a numbers game. I was very lucky to meet a man who I really fell for. We had a great first date and just went from there and it was super easy. Unfortunately fate was against us with him having to move away for work and me being here for at least another 18 months for work (but that's a different story......).

I've been on a few dates initiated through tinder but they've been pretty meh. One was with a guy who I'd talked to for a while but in person there was just no chemistry and within the first few minutes I was like 'shittttttt this is awkward'. Another one again chatting for a while, first date went well but second decided was no attraction.

Essentially it's a method of meeting single people, but just because one matches with another on tinder doesn't automatically mean there's defjnutely potential. My method is very much talk as much as I need to to 'want' to meet someone offline, go for a date, if there's nothing there then move on. I think a lot of people (a few of my friends, annoyingly) make it into waaaaaaay too much of a big deal and just too much drama.

Ed_

So I guess it really does come down to finding someone that you have some kind of connection with then @yellowseahorse...With the guy that it was awkward meeting, did you get the sense that there was no chemistry before you met or after?

It's an interesting point, talking as much as you need to, I guess that takes a bit of trial and error but sounds like you've found that balance which is really cool :yippe: having that confidence on a date can make it a lot easier! :thumb:

Former Member

I really agree there needs to be some sort of communication, however it may also be easier to get the focus and pressure of actually getting to know each other. If you two had something to talk about, and they seemed worth your time on the Internet, you could be quite friendly. I always find a task that can get you both talking to each other and having fun instead of seriously focus on each other may be helpful. In the past I have gone clay pigeon shooting and played crazy golf - hope this helped

Ed_

That sounds like a good idea @TheHebb certainly doing something that you can focus on more than just staring blankly across a restaurant table is likely to make it feel less awkward! Although I think I would be a bit nervous with someone having a gun with me on a date! :crazyeyes

As you say, focusing on the fact that they seemed worth your time when you were chatting on the internet should hopefully be a calming influence...although perhaps there is something about chatting online that makes it easier to be more open, but it all comes back to the fact that you are the person that they have liked enough online to meet off!

Former Member

I completely agree Ed!
The gun idea was completely mad but then again so is my relationship :hyper:
But definitely even if it's just doing something that you were both talking about online.