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Such a messed up situation :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
help me with my issues I need some serious advice on why i keep going wrong and making the same mistakes... Anyway i met this guy four ago thought he was great then things started to happen and found out he wasnt single as he made out was living with another woman and had a gf.

I contacted the then gf told him he was cheating with me and she said lets be mates - bad move as she messed me about and used me to get one over on me. Three years down the line ive slept with him on and off him making out he was single lying to me i did know this deep down but just didnt want to admitt he was bad. In april he said he was really ill with his bipolar so felt sorry for him and slept with him he then was kicked out by his then gf only for the girl from 3 years ago to turn up and is now back with her.

This girl in question is married with a kid and not particularly a nice person so i made an alliance with the ex gf and hus and was passing information on - what was i thinking??? Saw him sat was extremely drunk but ended up sleeping with him afterwards he was like i need to be alone and then i saw hed stolen 15 out my purse (hes known for this) i told the ex not realising the consequences of what i done and she has now said ive chucked her under the bus and told everyone in my local.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Bulmerwhirl :wave:

    Welcome to TheSite - it's so great you have found us. :yes: It sounds like you have been having a few issues with a guy you have been on/off with over the past few years. It seems like the guy has a habit of lying to you, and his partners. It does sound very messy and it must be really hard for you. Its hard to know what the best thing to do is when the situation gets difficult like this.

    It's very sad that he is suffering from some mental health issues, and perhaps these could be the reason behind his difficulties with relationships? It can be hard to distance yourself from someone who is going through a hard time, especially when you have a history with them, but it sounds like the more you get embroiled in the situation, the more harm you are doing yourself. It seems like you are making yourself vulnerable to him, and he is taking advantage of you - stealing from you, and not staying faithful.

    It might be easier said than done, but perhaps trying to take a back seat, and not get as involved in his life, might be a better choice for you at this point? It could be that by giving yourself some distance you are able to see things a bit more clearly, and maybe see this guy in a new light. It might make things a bit simpler for you to understand and give you some space to work out what you think is the best way forward from this point. Minimising contact with him in the future might mean you feel the effects of any future messy scenarios much less. You can always talk to us on here too :)

    I hope that helps, let us know how you get on x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tamsinjo wrote: »
    Hi Bulmerwhirl :wave:

    Welcome to TheSite - it's so great you have found us. :yes: It sounds like you have been having a few issues with a guy you have been on/off with over the past few years. It seems like the guy has a habit of lying to you, and his partners. It does sound very messy and it must be really hard for you. Its hard to know what the best thing to do is when the situation gets difficult like this.

    It's very sad that he is suffering from some mental health issues, and perhaps these could be the reason behind his difficulties with relationships? It can be hard to distance yourself from someone who is going through a hard time, especially when you have a history with them, but it sounds like the more you get embroiled in the situation, the more harm you are doing yourself. It seems like you are making yourself vulnerable to him, and he is taking advantage of you - stealing from you, and not staying faithful.

    It might be easier said than done, but perhaps trying to take a back seat, and not get as involved in his life, might be a better choice for you at this point? It could be that by giving yourself some distance you are able to see things a bit more clearly, and maybe see this guy in a new light. It might make things a bit simpler for you to understand and give you some space to work out what you think is the best way forward from this point. Minimising contact with him in the future might mean you feel the effects of any future messy scenarios much less. You can always talk to us on here too :)

    I hope that helps, let us know how you get on x

    Thank you! Tell me thou why does this guy like to slag me off behind back when I haven't done anything to him to deserve this
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