If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Jealousy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, I'm at risk of sounding like a bunny-boiler here so I apologise, but I'm a bit unhappy about something and not sure whether I'm being unreasonable or not...
My boyfriend's at uni several hundred km away from me and I trust him not to actually cheat on me of course. However, this is where a girl called R enters the scene. R is actually his roommate's (and good friend's) girlfriend, but my boyfriend gets on really really well with her, spends a lot of time with her and tells me how she always comes to talk to him about her problems and worries. Several times recently I've called him in the evening and he's been in her room 'talking' and I just spoke to him and he said he was up til 4:30am last night. I asked him what he was up to, and he said 'talking.' Naturally I was curious and also suspected it might be with R so I asked, and he said yes it was, then changed the subject.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but even if there isn't anything going on, I don't like it that he gets on so well with this girl and is spending so much time with her, and they're obviously getting really close. I've never felt jealous like this before but I really do now.
I'm going up at the weekend to see him, and I'll meet her for the first time too, so I'm pleased that at least I'll no longer be in the dark about what she's like - somehow other girls seem less threatening when you've met them and they're no longer 'in the abstract' as the 'other woman.'
But I'm still really unhappy! Gah!
Any ideas/advice people?
My boyfriend's at uni several hundred km away from me and I trust him not to actually cheat on me of course. However, this is where a girl called R enters the scene. R is actually his roommate's (and good friend's) girlfriend, but my boyfriend gets on really really well with her, spends a lot of time with her and tells me how she always comes to talk to him about her problems and worries. Several times recently I've called him in the evening and he's been in her room 'talking' and I just spoke to him and he said he was up til 4:30am last night. I asked him what he was up to, and he said 'talking.' Naturally I was curious and also suspected it might be with R so I asked, and he said yes it was, then changed the subject.
I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but even if there isn't anything going on, I don't like it that he gets on so well with this girl and is spending so much time with her, and they're obviously getting really close. I've never felt jealous like this before but I really do now.
I'm going up at the weekend to see him, and I'll meet her for the first time too, so I'm pleased that at least I'll no longer be in the dark about what she's like - somehow other girls seem less threatening when you've met them and they're no longer 'in the abstract' as the 'other woman.'
But I'm still really unhappy! Gah!
Any ideas/advice people?
0
Comments
I poured my heart out to him as usual on the phone, and I think to be honest it wasn't just jealousy of R, it was feeling uncared-for in general by him, because he's been really busy recently and I haven't spoken to him as much. He reassured me that everything's fine, and I'm looking forward to going up to see him and to meet this girl!
Feeling a lot happier now anyway
hope u have a good time there. xx