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Will smiling at passers-by make me a more likely victim of sexual abuse?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
My mother taught me to always smile, no matter how crappy I was feeling on the inside. "Smiling", she said, "will make you feel better, and besides, you should see how ugly your face looks right now when you frown." Then she would make me stand in front of a mirror so i could see for myself just how crappy i really did look. With self-esteem as wobbly as mine, my good looks were one of the few things that gave me confidence in my life. So, fearful of losing that pretty lil ol' smile of mine, I began to use it. And BOY O BOY did I ever use it!! For a year i walked around with a constant half smirk pasted to my face. I'm not that bad anymore. Now I save my smiles, and ration them out like the priceless expressions of love that they are. But still, sometime's Im tempted to flash a random smile that sneaks out in the joy of every day life. While returning a video to Blockbuster this morning, one of those random smiles slipped out, as I couldn't escape the humor of the uniform line of commuters patiently waiting to return their rentals into the outdoor slot. It had become just as much a part of our routine as the morning cup of cofee or waiting for the train. Yet the recepient of the smile seemed to have thought that i was flirting. The look he gave me was that of predator sizing up its prey. I felt violated and majorly creeped out. Take a step back and think about. society has reached a new all time low. No longer can even friendly smiles or random acts of kindness be exchanged without meeting scorn and distrust. For my part, I intend to keep on smiling.
On that note: There are a few things in a man's life which are of utmost importance. Things that define a guy's manhood. Things that make him a man. In my opinion, one of those things is his choice of deodorant. Men in power use powerful deodorants. You wouldn't see Jean Chrétien using generic Speed Stick or something, I promise you that. I'm sure he uses something much better like Degree or even Old Spice High Endurance.
As you can probably tell, deodorant means a great deal to me. I've spent my whole young adult life zeroing in on the one perfect deodorant: the deodorant that meshes seamlessly with my natural chemical secretions to produce that irresistible and permanently fresh manly scent. I've flip-flopped between some of Mennen's products, many of Gillette's offerings and, sadly, I've even tried Mitchum. Not to mention all the aerosols I've been through. But unfortunately, I've had to rule out the aerosol, because I have shitty aim - I've sprayed myself in the mouth one too many times.
After what seemed like an interminable search, I finally grasped the ungraspable: I came upon the ultimate deodorant. Like finding the one true love of your life, this was a moment to be treasured. In my case that special someone was Arrid XX Clear Stick: Fresh Scent Anti-Perspirant/ Deodorant. Yup, that's right: it's both, baby! Can you believe it? I don't even know if I understand it, but trust me when I say that this deodorant achieves what no other could: it lasts, smells delicious, and melds delightfully with my personal body odour. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Then came somewhat of a crisis. A couple of weeks ago, I ran out of my most recent stick and needed another. So I headed down to Shopper's Drug Mart in search of my baby. To my great disappointment and dismay, they only had two `flavours' of Arrid XX in stock: `Unscented' and `Baby-Fresh'. Where was Fresh-Scent? This was totally unacceptable. The question became: Should I go with the unoriginal and quite plain Unscented, or be a little bit daring and go for Baby-Fresh? I first considered the Unscented, but then thought of the long-term effects. When you put on deodorant, you need to be confident that you will smell good all day. But with this Unscented stuff, you're just not leaving much of a margin. If you slip down a notch you're right in B.O. country, my friend, and that's no place for a two-week vacation. So I went with the logical choice, Baby- Fresh.
On the way home, I was thinking to myself how nice baby powder smells, and how this choice of scent was actually going to work out quite well. In fact, I even recalled that I knew some buddies back home that used to put Johnson's baby powder on to attract the ladies. I was becoming more and more excited to try out this new flavour. Baby-Fresh and I were going places, together.
I put the deodorant on the next morning with unusual zeal, savouring the sweet aroma. I proceeded through the day, continuing to enjoy my newly found favorite scent. However, a problem arose at about 4:30 in the afternoon. As I strapped on my backpack after my last class of the day, I caught a good whiff of the odour wafting up from my pits. It was somewhat disconcerting. I thought I smelled like a girl. "Nah," I thought to myself, "the guys back home couldn't be wrong." That reassured me for the rest of the day.
The next morning, I applied the Baby Fresh a little apprehensively, but I was resolved to give it a second chance. Unfortunately, I caught the womanly scent yet again, and began to get alarmed. "I do smell like a girl," I thought to myself. It was in this state of worry that some of my friends entered my room and noticed my new deodorant on my dresser. "Why do you have woman's deodorant on your dresser?" one of them asked. "But Arrid is unisex," I responded. "The label is pink," my friend retorted sternly. To that I had no response, but only the regret that I should have pieced things together earlier. Yes, indeed, I was wearing woman's deodorant. I was weakened and horribly ashamed.
Not wanting to let this debacle go on any longer, I went out that night and found my old friend Fresh Scent at a different pharmacy. But the Baby Fresh had only been used twice, and it would have been a terrible shame to throw it away. So decided to gave it to my girlfriend as a gift. I told her the seal was broken because I used it to prop open the door of a burning orphanage to allow the helpless children to escape. She was touched, loves the deodorant and actually continues to use it to this day.
My manhood restored, I now think I've recovered from this awful period in my life.
A nice bonus is that now I like the way my girlfriend smells.
On that note: There are a few things in a man's life which are of utmost importance. Things that define a guy's manhood. Things that make him a man. In my opinion, one of those things is his choice of deodorant. Men in power use powerful deodorants. You wouldn't see Jean Chrétien using generic Speed Stick or something, I promise you that. I'm sure he uses something much better like Degree or even Old Spice High Endurance.
As you can probably tell, deodorant means a great deal to me. I've spent my whole young adult life zeroing in on the one perfect deodorant: the deodorant that meshes seamlessly with my natural chemical secretions to produce that irresistible and permanently fresh manly scent. I've flip-flopped between some of Mennen's products, many of Gillette's offerings and, sadly, I've even tried Mitchum. Not to mention all the aerosols I've been through. But unfortunately, I've had to rule out the aerosol, because I have shitty aim - I've sprayed myself in the mouth one too many times.
After what seemed like an interminable search, I finally grasped the ungraspable: I came upon the ultimate deodorant. Like finding the one true love of your life, this was a moment to be treasured. In my case that special someone was Arrid XX Clear Stick: Fresh Scent Anti-Perspirant/ Deodorant. Yup, that's right: it's both, baby! Can you believe it? I don't even know if I understand it, but trust me when I say that this deodorant achieves what no other could: it lasts, smells delicious, and melds delightfully with my personal body odour. I couldn't ask for anything more.
Then came somewhat of a crisis. A couple of weeks ago, I ran out of my most recent stick and needed another. So I headed down to Shopper's Drug Mart in search of my baby. To my great disappointment and dismay, they only had two `flavours' of Arrid XX in stock: `Unscented' and `Baby-Fresh'. Where was Fresh-Scent? This was totally unacceptable. The question became: Should I go with the unoriginal and quite plain Unscented, or be a little bit daring and go for Baby-Fresh? I first considered the Unscented, but then thought of the long-term effects. When you put on deodorant, you need to be confident that you will smell good all day. But with this Unscented stuff, you're just not leaving much of a margin. If you slip down a notch you're right in B.O. country, my friend, and that's no place for a two-week vacation. So I went with the logical choice, Baby- Fresh.
On the way home, I was thinking to myself how nice baby powder smells, and how this choice of scent was actually going to work out quite well. In fact, I even recalled that I knew some buddies back home that used to put Johnson's baby powder on to attract the ladies. I was becoming more and more excited to try out this new flavour. Baby-Fresh and I were going places, together.
I put the deodorant on the next morning with unusual zeal, savouring the sweet aroma. I proceeded through the day, continuing to enjoy my newly found favorite scent. However, a problem arose at about 4:30 in the afternoon. As I strapped on my backpack after my last class of the day, I caught a good whiff of the odour wafting up from my pits. It was somewhat disconcerting. I thought I smelled like a girl. "Nah," I thought to myself, "the guys back home couldn't be wrong." That reassured me for the rest of the day.
The next morning, I applied the Baby Fresh a little apprehensively, but I was resolved to give it a second chance. Unfortunately, I caught the womanly scent yet again, and began to get alarmed. "I do smell like a girl," I thought to myself. It was in this state of worry that some of my friends entered my room and noticed my new deodorant on my dresser. "Why do you have woman's deodorant on your dresser?" one of them asked. "But Arrid is unisex," I responded. "The label is pink," my friend retorted sternly. To that I had no response, but only the regret that I should have pieced things together earlier. Yes, indeed, I was wearing woman's deodorant. I was weakened and horribly ashamed.
Not wanting to let this debacle go on any longer, I went out that night and found my old friend Fresh Scent at a different pharmacy. But the Baby Fresh had only been used twice, and it would have been a terrible shame to throw it away. So decided to gave it to my girlfriend as a gift. I told her the seal was broken because I used it to prop open the door of a burning orphanage to allow the helpless children to escape. She was touched, loves the deodorant and actually continues to use it to this day.
My manhood restored, I now think I've recovered from this awful period in my life.
A nice bonus is that now I like the way my girlfriend smells.
0
Comments
keep smiling
and who cares - if it smells good wear it!
And smiling is good. Also, waving at passing cars. I've found truckers to be the most friendly