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I don't know how to help (self-harm)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello again.

One of my friends (a different one) has been self-harming recently. She refuses to see her GP and refuses to seek any other form of help.

Is there anything I, or she, can do to help her?

I don't know how to advise her.

Thanks guys.

Picc.
xxx

edited to correct typos

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There is a sticky thread at the top of health forum page, might be worth having a read through there. It is long as there are lots of replies but you might get the advice you need there :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks, I've read it before and didn't think anyone suggested anything other than counselling or a-ds and clearly neither of those are an option unless she seeks help. I think I'm fighting a losing battle but I can't bear being so useless to her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont know what to suggest as ive never been there, but id guess the only thing you can do is be there for her. If she wont seek help then she is not ready to accept she has a problem, only when someone accepts they have a problem can people like yourself help.
    Id say just be there for her to talk to you if she wants to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bluntly I dont think there is anything you can do to help yet
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bomberman444
    bluntly I dont think there is anything you can do to help yet
    Came to the same conclusion myself. I just feel so useless, but you're right. She has to do this herself I suppose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree a lot with what others have said before and all I can suggest, as well, is just being there for her. Your friend may not be ready to admit that she has a problem and you really can't force a person into admitting something that they are not willing to admit yet.

    Self harming is not something that you can just stop when somebody tells you to. I have found that friends telling me how bad self harming is and how silly I am for doing has made me feel worse about myself leading to more self harming.


    I really agree with this as well because I have had people tell me that I'm crazy, insane, and what not, when I was self-harming a lot and really, really bad, throughout most of my teenage life, and the more they told me this, the more I did it and the worse it seemed to get.

    I may have not cut in 10 1/2 months, but I am far from being cured. I still have the strong urges and probably always will have those strong urges of wanting to cut, but I know that I have the coping skills to help me through mostly all the urges.

    All else that I can say is just be there for your friend and let your friend know that you will be there for him/her and that anytime that him/her needs anyone to talk to or whatever, just let them know that you will be there for him/her when and if she/he needs to talk.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ~*STRESSED*~
    Self harming is not something that you can just stop when somebody tells you to. I have found that friends telling me how bad self harming is and how silly I am for doing has made me feel worse about myself leading to more self harming.
    I do know that. Been there. Still there. The difference is that I am trying to do something about it. I guess I've always known that there's nothing I can do. I just feel like a crap friend letting her go on feeling this way. Moan over. Thanks again.

    edited, as ever, to correct my typos.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    I dont know what to suggest as ive never been there, but id guess the only thing you can do is be there for her. If she wont seek help then she is not ready to accept she has a problem, only when someone accepts they have a problem can people like yourself help.
    Id say just be there for her to talk to you if she wants to.

    stay there for her as becky said. dont force her to do anything she doesnt want to do as she may resent you for that and push you further away. all i can say is make sure you are there for her and slowly she may start to admit that she has a problem. that has to come from her im afraid. if ya wanna talk about it from someone who has been there then feel free to PM.

    hope it all works out :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are many useful organisations that run very good helplines that are an excellent resource for worried friends and relatives of peiople who self harm. Try either of the following:

    SANELINE
    Offers practical information, crisis care and emotional support to anybody affected by mental health problems. The service is open from 12 noon until 2am.
    Telephone: 0845 767 8000
    Website: www.sane.org.uk

    Mind
    For users of mental health services, their carers, professionals and the public.
    Telephone: 08457 660163

    We also have a feature on dealing with a friend with menatl health problems here .

    And you may want to check out our mental health special to read around the subject more - that's here.

    As the others have all said, just having friends that care helps, so you just being there will be appreciated.
    :)
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