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no luck...whyyy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
SSooo Ladies and gentlemen of Thesite.... :wave:
Views and opinions here please....
I am a very nice decent guy....And i cant be the only one, coz nice guys do exist ....
I am friendly, usually happy-go-lucky..Usually i always smile, I always set out to make everyone else smile, as that is what is most important to me....I get on well with both sexes..
And yet for reasons unknown to me i cannot get a girlfriend..
I am totally useless at it...No girl ever sees me in the way..
And it is really realyl getting me down, because i really would like a girlfriend now......
For a while i wasnt looking for a g/f but have been for the last long while
Anyone in a similar position or been there done that type of thing.....OR anyone got any advice..
Ive tried the wait and it will happen crap, ive tried approaching ppl, ive tried a lot of things nothing works for me,
Im at a stage now where i blame myself, i slag myself off to bits,
i have almost no faith im myself...and im just very unhappy
???? Help appreciated
Views and opinions here please....
I am a very nice decent guy....And i cant be the only one, coz nice guys do exist ....
I am friendly, usually happy-go-lucky..Usually i always smile, I always set out to make everyone else smile, as that is what is most important to me....I get on well with both sexes..
And yet for reasons unknown to me i cannot get a girlfriend..
I am totally useless at it...No girl ever sees me in the way..
And it is really realyl getting me down, because i really would like a girlfriend now......
For a while i wasnt looking for a g/f but have been for the last long while
Anyone in a similar position or been there done that type of thing.....OR anyone got any advice..
Ive tried the wait and it will happen crap, ive tried approaching ppl, ive tried a lot of things nothing works for me,
Im at a stage now where i blame myself, i slag myself off to bits,
i have almost no faith im myself...and im just very unhappy
???? Help appreciated
0
Comments
Im not absolutely desperate.....
In saying that ive waited for so long fior the right person to come along, and its yet to happen, it can only be so long before you meet the right person surely...I mean surely if yuou've waited fro like say more than a yr to find that special someone then theirs something wrong,
heh...maybe thats just me :rolleyes:
Just an idea.
Who said i looked at them as if i just wanted a shag m8...
Not me never even mentioned sex did i....Nup
:rolleyes:
Lets stick to the subject here shall we, i want to know why i cant find the right girl for me, not to shag, at least not right away
??
Not shag literally, but meh.
You are LOOKING for a gf, and that is what I mean. Instead of making friends, getting to know girls, you are looking at every lass as a potential date. Its what happens when you go LOOKING for a gf.
And looking indicates desperation. And desperation is the antithesis of attractive.
You said it yourself- you have no faith in yourself. Stop looking and youll start finding. Simple as.
Though i must just add this which i forgot to mention first time around, sorry, I am shy, which kind of hinders me when i want to chat with girls i like, as in fancy, its ok if i dont like them past being friends, but after that its impossible, Not achievable, chrsit ask any one of my friends they wud tell you that, Im totally useles at speaking, in fact even trying to speak to a girl i think i like, in the i fancy them sort of way...Is this making sense to you?
??
Thats the trouble- if you dont have the confidence to just start talking to people then youll never meet people. Unless you can force yourself to be chatty and open then people just wont notice you, and even if someone does notice you then if they are just as shy and nervous youll both be looking at each other worrying about talking to each other and nothing will ever happen.
Also remember that the best places to meet gfs or bfs that will actually mean anything isnt in clubs or pubs, generally, its in stupid places like university or college lectures, or in the supermarket, or on the bus, or in interest groups. Theres loads of stuff on TheSite about self-esteem and self-image, have a nosey around it.
But the simple fact is that if you dont ask you dont get. Unless youre very lucky.
You have to have more faith on yourself. Concetrate on your good points: the things that would make you attractive to the opposite sex. It's prob the best thing you could do. And I know it sounds like such a cliche but let girls and people in general get to know the real you: I can assure you its much more attractive than a facade that you've built up to impress the ladies.
As for desperation....Fair enough you think i sound desperate but in fact im not I know it may sound like it, its just that the way i feel, the way i try to express how i feel on here thats just how it comes out, I have reason for not being self confident, for having little faith in myself..
Its not like i dont try to find someone, or try to be chatty with females, In my eyes one of the main problems, and i think the majority of people will agree, is that these days looks are everything and i am not good loking, but im not ugly either, And to me that is something that is stopping me from getting a girlfriend, If a female were to give me a chance and get to know we then sure they would know doubt like me, maybe more...But it aint happenin, If you arent good looking, Your not worth a look in these days, harsh as it is, thats the world we live in....
i think thats a fair point to make...........
YOuve answered your own questions about why you cannot find a gf, and now it is up to you to do something about it. Have self-belief and good things will come your way- hide away like a little mouse because you somehow think youre ugly and nothing will ever come your way. I seriously doubt that you look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame, so stop moping and get out there.
Think yourself ugly and people will believe it. Think yourself pretty and people will believe it. Its what it boils down to.
The majority of the girls i've met are just not willing to get to know the real me & the ones which do know me i've known for years & they are like a sister to me so nothing more than good friends could ever materialise.
Just treat life like a game & play it
Yep, you sound pretty much exactly like me. I have loads of friends (both male and female), but never, ever, get anywhere with a girl. Girls don't seem to see me that way. I just go straight to the friendzone. Maybe I'm just not boyfriend material.
I know what you mean about suddenly turning into a gibbering fool when you spot that gorgeous girl over at the bar though. I have no answer for that one. Does anyone?
The only thing I can suggest is to meet as many people as you can... doesn't matter where, male or female, whether you fancy them or not (their best friend might be the one!). Hopefully, you'll eventually meet her. Then you have to not be a gibbering fool when you do....
Hang on in there...
moo..