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Cheer me up, I'm blue...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've not been on here for ages, but I need some advice. I'm feeling all antsy and trapped and like I just want to go out and make my presence known to the world NOW!
I met my fiance what feels like a hundred years ago and we live together and we have a baby boy. I can only work part time just now because i don't want to leave the bubba full time til he's a bit older. I have a degree, but can't get a good job parttime, so I have a shit one instead which brings in the money.
BUT I'M BORED SILLY!
I'm bored of work, bored of bowtailing to my employers, bored of my relationship, bored of being taken for granted, bored at not being heard, bored of not shining and using my intelligence, bored bored with my flat, bored of everything.
The only thing going well is the baby. I want everything to change, but it's going to slow for me. I'm going back to uni to do a post grad, but not til next sept. I'm writing a book, but feel like scrapping it and starting over because it's not like i'd hoped, but it's maybe just writers angst.
I can't talk to any of my mates because they all think I'm happy "All your friends think you're satisfied, but they can't see your soul." Who would think robbie would sum up my life?
What is wrong with me? I told my fiance earlier that "we need to talk" (cue scary music) but I don't know what to say. He wants us to buy a house, but i want to run for the hills whenever he mentions it.
I blame mars
I met my fiance what feels like a hundred years ago and we live together and we have a baby boy. I can only work part time just now because i don't want to leave the bubba full time til he's a bit older. I have a degree, but can't get a good job parttime, so I have a shit one instead which brings in the money.
BUT I'M BORED SILLY!
I'm bored of work, bored of bowtailing to my employers, bored of my relationship, bored of being taken for granted, bored at not being heard, bored of not shining and using my intelligence, bored bored with my flat, bored of everything.
The only thing going well is the baby. I want everything to change, but it's going to slow for me. I'm going back to uni to do a post grad, but not til next sept. I'm writing a book, but feel like scrapping it and starting over because it's not like i'd hoped, but it's maybe just writers angst.
I can't talk to any of my mates because they all think I'm happy "All your friends think you're satisfied, but they can't see your soul." Who would think robbie would sum up my life?
What is wrong with me? I told my fiance earlier that "we need to talk" (cue scary music) but I don't know what to say. He wants us to buy a house, but i want to run for the hills whenever he mentions it.
I blame mars
0
Comments
I'll try my best at giving you some advice though..
At least your doing something about it, and you should talk to your friends, or at least try, thats what friends are for.
At least let someone know how you are feeling, and if not friends, then family?
How old is your son now, and how long till he's old enough so you can get a full time job?
If your bored maybe some kind of change would be good.. a holiday maybe?
think about it. if your life has become boring then you have few tools to deal with it.
if you can change the thinkining to ...'i have become boring' ...then there are loads of tools available almost instantly that you can use to change things.
please don't think this is a go at YOU. it's not. from experience i honestly believe that if you change the thinking from my life has become boring to ...I HAVE BECOME BORING ...you can aproach the problems better.
your the one with the power and the responsibility.
Its sounds as though although you obviously love your baby but you are now very tied, so much more than you ever thought you would be. You can only do a *shit* part time job instead of doing something decent with that degree you have got. I just see a bit of what you have written in me because im stuck at home basically holding the family together, hubby works long hours and it does get very lonely and boring.
I dont think you are very different from a lot of other mothers, I think we all at some stage feel just totally trapped and need to have time out on our own, away from partner and kids. Do you actually get out on your own? actually have adult conversation instead of just sitting with baby and not having the conversation like you used to before baby came along.
Id just say hang in there hopefully it will pass and make sure you have time for *just you* to try and chill out. You didnt say how old baby is so im not sure but could you be suffering from Post Natal Depression at all?
Hope you get sorted as I do understand how your feeling
If she hangs in there, makes sure she makes time just for *her* then im sure it will pass........I hope for her sake it does.
As I said she does sound like how I felt. What you have to remember is everything changes once you have a baby and being a Mother obviously you love your child enormously but things change overnight. You can feel like you dont exist anymore, its you and baby stuck at home all day and life can get you down. You can miss the freedom of doing what you want when you want, this baby comes along and overnight your life has changed.
I dont want to sound as though its *babies* fault but im just saying ive been there and can to an extent understand how she is feeling. Also if she has early stages of Post Natal Depression she can feel like she is.
LOL I got that to come yet
Hey little uns nearly 8 :eek2:
I also get out plenty, but it's usually in a group with my partner and all our mutual friends. I've had to cancel a few girlie nights out recently because I couldn't get a babysitter. I don't really think my friends understand that which pisses me off.
It would be great just to get away from it all for a couple of days. I was thinking about it last night before I went to bed. What I'd love to do is take off myself to this little village where I used to go when I was little. Just me, a cheap B&B and some sketch books. That would be fab...
And Mr Roll, your theory stinks to high heaven. I've been called a lot of things in my time...but boring is not one of them.
Just something to take your mind of everything else- if you feel you need it just go with you and the baby. Then you will be so much more contect when you return and having missed your fiancé you'll be all loved up again!
You are on the right lines though, take some time out for yourself, maybe do an evening class, or just have some alloted 'you time' where someone else looks after the kid and you do whatever you want be it sleeping, going to a gallery or train spotting.
By asseting a little independence and doing something that interests you, you will be amazed at how much better you will begin to feel...
More tips here:
get happy
You sound like you have plans - post grad etc... maybe to make them feel closer/ more real ... you could always contact your department and ask for a reading list and get a head start...
Susie