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am i living a lie(but hes fantastic)

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
me again been way wee while
anyway got another prob 4 u guys to sort out, me n my BF ave now been going 4 a year and a half on friday thing is its comming closer to uni time and now ave got to make BIG desicions on life, we were ment to be moving into a flat together jus to make things easier for uni save travelling home in stuff, thing is i hav been doubting myself BIG STYLE bout if i really wanna do this a mean am only comming on 17, things between us are rocky anyway my love for him is dying dont know if am as attracted to him or not. i did send my student accomodation form away today as a back up but i dont know if i could live myself or with four other girls as it is in the halls, i find it easier to bond with boys(another reasonmy BF gets annoyed at me)so living with girls would make me feel isolated and lonely making me hate uni probably. sometimes i feel i should just stay with him coz of the flat, hes so good to me and his parents are nice but deep down i dont know if my love is strong enough to hols on to him. whenever we split i miss him within minutes and pick up the phone to call and ask for him back. weve tried to seperate but it doesnt work. is this love i am feeling or is it jealousy of him meeting new girls and me just scared of being alone. i have no one else if we do finish and no one would understand me the way he does with all my probs. but i think i want him more of a friend rather than a friend due to the fact i never hardly want to have sex with him even though hes the boy i lost my virginity to. please help once again.
yeah am the girl who my boyfriend also took me back for cheating on him with someone else sexually(didnt sleep with him tho)
its clear to c he loves me and still fancies me like f**k after our first year and a half together, but why dont i feel the same? is it just that all the excitment has died down and does everyone come to this stage in a realationship or are they always in love FOREVER?
littl lambs mum:crazyeyes

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    PLESE SOMEONE HELP, I KNOW ITS LONG BUT PLEASE TAKE THE TIME
    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi well i dont want to tell you to split up with ur boyf but..
    i was only going out with mine for about 4months when i moved to uni. i could only see him at weekends (so diff from ur situation if you're movin in with him). we did stay together for the full academic yr but i recently broke up with him because i was feelin bored and like it was too serious for me. i think of uni as this experience i will never get back, like havin fun with mates and meeting boys. a few of my mates are engaged and i think oh my god how crazy are you! ur 18/19 ffs! but everyone wants different things...

    everyone has doubts in their relationship. during term time i was always having doubts but then i would see my boyf n i'd love him to bits. he was a great guy but i know what you mean about the sex thing, and i dont thik its good u dont feel the chemistry there anymore. when i split up with my boyf i was devastated but knew deep down i was doin the right thing. its about 6 weeks now since i finished with him im happy and ive found someone new who i have amazing chemistry with. ppl fall in the rut of being scared to be single coz they might not find anyone else.

    dont do something because you dont want to hurt your boyf's feelings or feel guilty. do it because its ur life and you want to be happy. you have a big decision, good luck x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you have to do what makes you happy. supposing you lived in halls and he stayed in his flat, and you decided to try and keep the relationship going. do you think that would work? at the end of the day, you don't want to do something that might end up driving you apart. talk to your boyfriend and make a decision that you can both agree on. and good luck, there's no reason why things shouldn't work out :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    cheers
    i prob do love him but i dont feel it
    the whole sex things worse than you prob think, hes really horny all the time which makes it worse and i agree to do it to keep him happy.(not what sex should be like)
    my mum n dad get fed up of us splitting and then going back to each other. and so must he. its like i dont care if i hurt him i treat him like shit and he takes it. i would find no one better. but thats no reason to stay. am young and i know uni would split us up anyway am not the type for going out and getting pist and doing daft stuff but at uni that all changes.
    i think we should finish but its too hard i find myself crying when i do coz were so close. but i am bored with it and would regret it when am 50 and old and have lived life with the wrong person.
    i want to be happy but am a very demanding person and want my way all the time.
    i have had two serious BF this one being longer but it seems after a certain time i get bored. perhaps i need to do more growing up and see what life is really like.
    thanks again x
    uni will be scary doing it alone though, as i find making friends with girls difficult, cant stant that really bitchy sort that wear loadas o make up and short skirts looking for dif boys all the time. but i am sure i will meet nice friendly girls at uni
    well i do hope so
    :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi
    Im currently going through a similar situation to you...
    I think that you should live at uni to sart with because if not you will soon find yourself seperate from the whole university experience and find it harder to make new friends and fit in.
    Living at uni would probably also give you and your boyfriend time to yourselves and you will be able to see if you could live without him or not.
    Sounds like the relationship needs a pick-me-up. Time apart will probably do you both good.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh im confused... I thought you were a student nurse? Are you telling porkies or am I going senile in my grand old age?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds to me, from what you've said, that you're just scared to be without him, rather than love. :( That's what I read into what you've posted. Sorry.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Never sleep with anyone to make them happy. Thats just plain wrong in my opinion, value yourself higher.

    As for moving in with him, if your unsure then I would leave it, mainly because after you move in its much harder to leave. Talk to him about it and express your concerns, just say your not quite ready to move in together yet, your only 17 for gods sake.

    Personaly if I were you I would try and get a room in halls, you will enjoy yourself, its a big part of uni life, which I'm a bit annoyed to have missed as my uni doesnt have them.

    Go for a swim in the lake of you and see how you feel.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by littl lambs mum
    uni will be scary doing it alone though, as i find making friends with girls difficult, cant stant that really bitchy sort that wear loadas o make up and short skirts looking for dif boys all the time. but i am sure i will meet nice friendly girls at uni
    well i do hope so
    :confused:

    it will be scary, but everyone is in the same position, so being in halls makes it easier. it also makes it a lot easier to make friends.

    i always found it easier to make friends with boys, but last year i lived with 5 other girls. and none of them were the sort you describe, they were all funny as hell.


    it sounds like you're just clinging on to him cause you're scared to do all this on your own. but don't be. you'll meet some great people at uni.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by littl lambs mum
    PLESE SOMEONE HELP, I KNOW ITS LONG BUT PLEASE TAKE THE TIME
    xxx

    Few ground rules hon:

    Use proper sentences and paragraphs, and its easier to read.
    Use proper words, not FCKNG TXT SPK, so I can actualoly understand what youre talking about.
    DONT SHOUT. Im not deaf.

    I would help you, but Im not going to try and read that horrific mess you posted to do so. Use the "edit" button and write in something approaching proper English, and everyone will help you. Its not a difficult concept.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Few ground rules hon:

    Use proper sentences and paragraphs, and its easier to read.
    Use proper words, not FCKNG TXT SPK, so I can actualoly understand what youre talking about.
    DONT SHOUT. Im not deaf.

    I would help you, but Im not going to try and read that horrific mess you posted to do so. Use the "edit" button and write in something approaching proper English, and everyone will help you. Its not a difficult concept.

    how patronising are you! get over it, using 'FCKNG TXT SPK' is hardly the end of the world now is it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lipsy
    how patronising are you!

    I try my hardest. Thank you:)

    get over it

    Im not the one who has to get over writing posts so poorly that a three-year-old would be ashamed of them.

    using 'FCKNG TXT SPK' is hardly the end of the world now is it

    No, but using txt spk then expecting people to read through 15 lines of it, without any sort of break, grammatical or otherwise, and getting pissed off when they dont is irritating.

    I was merely pointing out taht most people wouldnt take half an hour to reat that gobshite, but if it was written coherently (Im not wanting perfect English, though it would be nice) more would. If you ahve that amount of time to waste on reading the unreadable all play to you, Ive actually got a life.
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