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Convincing someone to lose weight
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
This is a problem that I'm getting increasingly worried about. My mother is quite overweight, and I'm concerned about the effects it has on her health. She admits that she's fat (i don't like using that word), but finds it hard to do anything about it. When she stops snacking during the day she finds it very hard, and even gets depressed. She doesn't take much exercise, although I'm trying to persuade her to go to the gym with me.
I'm posting this for partly selfish reasons - I don't want anything bad to happen to her, and I'm worried about the impacts her size may have on her health. I'd love her to lose some weight so she'd be fitter and likely to live longer. I haven't told her about these concerns of mine, but I'm not quite sure what to do. How can I encourage her to make more of an effort to lose weight? In the past few weeks I've been dropping hints about looking at calories in my food and things, but she tells me that I shouldn't be worrying about things like that. Any ideas?
I'm posting this for partly selfish reasons - I don't want anything bad to happen to her, and I'm worried about the impacts her size may have on her health. I'd love her to lose some weight so she'd be fitter and likely to live longer. I haven't told her about these concerns of mine, but I'm not quite sure what to do. How can I encourage her to make more of an effort to lose weight? In the past few weeks I've been dropping hints about looking at calories in my food and things, but she tells me that I shouldn't be worrying about things like that. Any ideas?
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i think i would just be honest.
tell her you're worried about her health and you would like her to maybe think about trying to lose some weight. i don't think that counts as a selfish reason.
obviously you want your mum around for as long as possible, cause, well, she's your mum.
just tell her.
Start a food Diary
The only way she'll win this battle is to figure out what triggers her overeating. Even if she heads into a binge, her writing down her feeling on paper will create a commonality that will help her understand the nature of her weight problems. Calories have a way of creeping up. Research done by American Dietic Association found that dieters who were not successful after countless weight loss efferts were underestimating their calories by as much as 300 percent. They also thought they exercised much more than they really did. If it's too hard to keep a daily journal, etleast try to keep track of two weekdays and one weekend day. Note such things as modd, fat and calorie content of what she ate, what she was doinf or feeling before she ate, and how she felt afterwards (satisfied, mad, sad, etc.)
Know your body fat
Her weight is important, but the amount of fat in her body is equally important. Combining both gives more accurate picture of overall body fitness. If she have an acceptable weight but too much body fat, her health could be in jeopardy. The USDA recommendation is that no more than 30 percent of yuor daily caloric intake come from fat.
Heres how to measure:
1. using a millimeter ruler, pinch the fold of skin directly in front of her armpit, vertically in at the front of her thigh, and vertically an inch to the side of her belly button. Hold the ruler away from her body, as straight as possible.
2. Add all three mesurements together
3. Her total should be no higher than 100. Higher than that means she has more than 30 percent body fat.
Body Mass Index
Her BMI (body mass index) measures the relationship between her weight and her height. Heres how to find it:
1. multiply her weight in pounds by .45 to get kilos
2. Take her height in inches and multiply by 0.0254 to get meters
3. Multiply that number by itself
4. Divide this into her weight in kilos. This is her BMI. The accepted healthy range is form 19 to 25 accorind to the National Examination Survey.
How much should she weigh?
Forget the complicated charts! An easy way to figure out what she should weigh is to allow 100 pounds for the first 5 feet of height and five pounds for each additional inch. Most cahrts calculate that ten pounds below that is just about right for small frames and ten pounds above is normal for larger frames. But dont get married to that. She'll hopefully know where she feels her healthiest.
Dont get too techinical
the problem with most diet books and diet programs is that they are so complicated and difficult to follow that the dieters I know found themselves constantly having to think about what they ate. This result proved negative for the majoirty of them. They were literally consumed with thoughts of food, which caused them to overeat.
Listen to Your body
your body(in your case, her body0 will signal her with what us wrong and what it needs. Sometimes it will scream at you for help. Ex: women report cravings certain foods (chocolate) about a week before their menstrual cycles. Also cravings "comfort"foods like bread, pastry, or crackers could simply indicate boredom or stress.
Develope a reward system
successful dieters have found that having something to look forward to at the end of each milestone (first five pounds, getting through a tough weekend, etc) helped to mentally and emotionally shorten the cycle of long-term success.
Its a gift you give yourself
Think of your weight loss program as the most important gift you have ever given yourself. (im meaning like of her thinking that, once she decides she wants to lose weight) Only when you take away the "poor me routine" can you really grow up and get on with it. Now is the time to experience new tastes. Enjoy the entire experience of eating, and get the most from every morsel. This will eliminate feelings of deprivation.
Talk Back to your head
When something goes wrong in our lives, those voices in our head start in. They try to tell us that the only way we'll get over that dissapointment or lonliness is with the antidote of food. Tell yourself that you've had these feelings before, and you've lived through it. No amount of food will take away these feelings. In fact, it will only make you feel worse afterward. Then start talking yourself into a better body.
There is alot more information i cud share with you if you want but the last thing Im gonna suggest is to create a contract. I suggested this for another person on here so you might see it.
Take the time to write out a contract with yourself. These 10 rules are a good start for terms you can live up to. Add your own resolutions to this list if you'd like. Take it out whenever you are tempted to break the terms of the contract.
1. I resolve to eat only when i am truly hungry
2. i resolve to try a new fruit or veggie
3. i resolve to reat myself to a forbidden food once a week
4. i resolve to limit consumption of diet soda and other chemicals.
5. i resolve to drink 8 to 10 glasses of water daily
6. i resolve to exercise at least 3 times a week
7. i resolve to replace a red meat meal with tofu
8. i resolve to accept responsiblity for my actions
9. i resolve to think before i eat
10. i resolve to take it one day at a time
my name.....
my current weight......
my goal weight.......
reason for losing weight.......
signed......
date.....
if you have any questions for me, pm me.
sorry if i didnt help but i hope i helped a bit. good luck!! oh and p.s if she does decide to lose weight , encourage her, and support her. Never put her down. otay! im done blabbing
Exercise is a very important factor though, but forcing your mum to go gym with you is unlikely to work as its likely she'll feel uncomfortable having to go to a gym where she'll be surrounded by healthy fit people, if possible try and do exercise at home. If she starts off just doing 10 minutes a day and builds it up then she'll start to lose weight, start with an exercise video or something.
In my opinion if you are both able to talk openly about her weight issue then it will lead to positive things, if your mum can feel comfortable talking to you about it then you motivating her to lose weight is likely to work.