First Dates - Who Pays and How Much

Former Member · July 2003

On a first date who usually pays?

The Guy, Girl or do you go dutch? or Should the person that did the asking in the first place pay?

And what do you usually spend on a first date? Do you do something simple or go out to impress and spend lots of dosh?

Former Member · July 2003

It should be split equally, unless the guy is being a gentleman and offers to pay.

Under no circumstances should the woman expect the guy to play. That would make her a slag, as Federico would say :yes:

Former Member · July 2003

If i ask someone, i expect to pay

If they ask me, i think they should pay. However, if its expensive then i like to pay my half. If a bloke asked me out and didnt pay for me, it wouldnt bother me to be honest. I just think its polite to pay seeing as they asked!

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by Bri-namite

Under no circumstances should the woman expect the guy to play. That would make her a slag, as Federico would say :yes:

:no: maybe it makes her old fashioned and a traditional romantic?!

Former Member · July 2003

Well I'm being taken on a 1st date tonight ...

I guess "we" kinda cheated in that he asked me on the date, a little while later I asked (very subtle person that I am) "do I need to bring money, or are you treating me?"

<later on I also said how I'm the sort of girl who will also treat her guys ... kinda a 'taking it in turns' thing>

He said he'd treat me

We're going for dinner & a movie (I think)

As for how impressive it is - perhaps I'll let y'all know later

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by Bri-namite
It should be split equally, unless the guy is being a gentleman and offers to pay.

Under no circumstances should the woman expect the guy to play. That would make her a slag, as Federico would say :yes:

yup.

i would always try to pay half, and mr. junkie would always slyly pay the whole thing and give me my money back.

and on a first date you should do something simple but fun. no point shelling out if you don't even get on! the cinema is ideal, cause if they turn out to be dead boring you can always watch the film. and you'll have at least one thing to talk about.

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by lil_minx
:no: maybe it makes her old fashioned and a traditional romantic?!

Fair enough. Let the guy be old fashioned and expect the women to do all the housework

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by Bri-namite
Fair enough. Let the guy be old fashioned and expect the women to do all the housework

fair enough, theres a lot of people like that still around!

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by lil_minx
fair enough, theres a lot of people like that still around!

I'm more than happy for guys to have to pay for a date, and for women to have to do all the housework, whilst I relax with a beer that she got me from the fridge

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by lil_minx
If i ask someone, i expect to pay

If they ask me, i think they should pay. However, if its expensive then i like to pay my half. If a bloke asked me out and didnt pay for me, it wouldnt bother me to be honest. I just think its polite to pay seeing as they asked!

:yes:

I agree with that. If I have asked a guy out I will insist that I pay and I like it if a guy does the same and says he will pay if he asked me out. If he doesn't then fair enough but all the guys I've been out on dates with have gone along with it in that way.

After the first couple of dates I like to start either taking it in turns or paying half each though.

I tend to go out for a drink on a first date, that way I can get to know the guy and it's also not going to turn out to be a mega expense.

Former Member · July 2003

yes but your forgetting, slag is a term of endearment according to federico!

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by Char_Baby
yes but your forgetting, slag is a term of endearment according to federico!

It's true though.

If a girl expects a guy to pay, she's usually the type who buggers off after the first date, and you never hear from her again :mad:

Former Member · July 2003

hmmm...well, i like to go dutch but recently, i'm not getting the chance. it's like...it's cool, i've got this...it's grand. or when he was drunk "bling, bling, money aint a thang!". i think i've found a keeper. but i *will* buy him something tonight, i will .

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by Fairytale_Girly

We're going for dinner & a movie (I think)

As for how impressive it is - perhaps I'll let y'all know later

I assume you're going for the Movie first and then the Dinner?

That way you have something to talk about if the conversation gets low .... If it was a really boring movie would you ever walk out?? I just saw the Hulk and was really

- I'd have walked out but I was watching it on my PC! He He!!! - Instead I fell asleep twice now trying to watch it!!

As far as paying I think it's nice if the guy pays and if she insists on paying half before the date begins I'd say - "Let me pay this time and if you have a nice time and wanna do it again then you can take me somewhere next time"

Former Member · July 2003

Depends on the girl really, I've had diff peeps do diff things. Usually I'd pay for the movie or whatever because it's not expensive and it varies for the food. I might fork out for both of us at the local Maccy Ds and other times when I'm strapped for cash my other half would pay. Altho I don't have an other half now

Former Member · July 2003

I definitely don't think a woman should expect a man to pay for her just because she's a woman, that dates back to ye olden days when a woman would not work or not be earning anything like a man would be earning.

Nowadays, we're all equal. However, I wouldn't say anything if the bill came and she didn't even offer to pay, there just wouldn't be a second date. If she did offer I would say no the first time out of politeness and then the second time she insisted I'd agree to split it straight down the middle. Although I'd hope that most women would agree to split the bill nowadays.

I don't believe in paying for someone's company which is essentially what you're doing if you're paying the whole bill. Little things like a drink before the meal or some sweets for the film or a taxi home I'd pay for but not the main event.

As for taking them somewhere flash, I wouldn't unless it was a special occasion because it could lead to her thinking I was richer than I was and expecting more than I could afford, plus it could make one or both of you feel more uncomfortable.

Former Member · July 2003

For a first date i would say movie then a dinner is best, my boyf pays for me most the time, but then i make him food and tidy his room and stuff so maybe were an old fashioned couple:p

But i think maybe you should buy the drinks and taxi but not the food and movie.

Former Member · July 2003

First date - never flash, always split the bill. I much prefer to split - I don't like to feel indebted in anyway. Not till I know them better anyhow. :thumb:

Former Member · July 2003

heh we normally pay for ourselves unless he offers:D

Former Member · July 2003

On my most recent first date, I offered to pay for drinks, but he insisted, so I wasn't exactly going to complain, and he was the one who asked me out. I don't really care how much a guy wants to pay just to impress, I'm more interested in how long he can keep a conversation for, what he does etc

Former Member · July 2003

umm, I like to pay half.

Lads seem to try to insist on paying all of it, but I insist on paying at least half and always get my way.

Depending on the person, I always offer to pay all of it.

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by sxy bunny grl
For a first date i would say movie then a dinner is best, my boyf pays for me most the time, but then i make him food and tidy his room and stuff so maybe were an old fashioned couple:p

But i think maybe you should buy the drinks and taxi but not the food and movie.

Some dating experts advise against going to the movies for a first date - they say it give little opportunity to talk. Anyway I think it's best to avoid some of the 3 hour movies that are out there.

Former Member · July 2003

happy_fairytale_girly :thumb:

Well ... I said that I'd post up how last night went so I guess I should (particularly since Skateside has just prompted me on MSN messenger to do so!)

Anyway last night went well ... I know it was mentioned as to whether we would go for the movie then dinner or the other way round - we went dinner then movie. Ate in a great pub on the embankment (I live near a river) then went to see "The 4 Feathers"

The evening was really good ... i really enjoyed myself, yes he paid for the meal but I have one of those pass cards for the cinema so he didn't pay for me there, just himself.

The movie was good ... if you liked "Sharpe" on TV you'll enjoy it ... also there's some good opportunities for snuggling ... but since I'm such an :angel: I wouldn't like to say anymore

We've decided to give each other the labels of bf & gf (did debate using the term 'luvbitch' pour moi - but decided that gf was more socially acceptable!!!)

luv y'all

Ms. F.G. xx

Former Member · July 2003

I had my first and only date in 1996. My mum told me that it was the norm to go halves on the meal, so we did that. On one occasion, I paid for both of us (it was only £3.40 per head back then), and then I was given a sh*t load of assorted biscuits in a box, so that was a nice surprise.

Former Member · July 2003

Your first and ONLY???

Are you serious?

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by Fairytale_Girly
Your first and ONLY???

Are you serious?

I was 17 then. 24 now. Yes, my only. Because of hearing/visual difficulties, I find it hard getting romance, let alone friends.

Former Member · July 2003

i can't remember, it's been that long since i've been on a date. whenever me and my boyfriend go out now we do rounds, but somehow I always seem to end up buying the most expensive drinks :rolleyes:

Former Member · July 2003

It's gentlemanly for the man to pay, and I always like a gentleman

but I wouldn't expect him to pay, I'd just be pleased and flattered if he did.

I also agree with lil minx that if you ask someone to go on a date with you, you should really pay for them - because they're doing you the favour of going out with you! So if I asked someone out on a date, I'd pay - but if he asked me out, it would be nicer for him to pay.

Having said that, 99% of the time we just go dutch!

Former Member · July 2003

Originally posted by perfect***day

I also agree with lil minx that if you ask someone to go on a date with you, you should really pay for them - because they're doing you the favour of going out with you! So if I asked someone out on a date, I'd pay - but if he asked me out, it would be nicer for him to pay.

If i ask someone, i expect to pay

Its soooooo easy for girls to say that (the above) cos we all know that girls hardly ever fuckin ask blokes out, so they can hide behind this excuse!:rolleyes:

But I'm sure the girls that think this actually do ask out lots of boys and pay for them RIGHT?:rolleyes:

Girls are pretty fickle, they want independence & sexual equality BUT still want to be treated like a princess and have things brought for them.

I don't mind doing the gentleman routine as long as it gets noted! Nothing worse than a girl that thinks I should pay for everything just cos I am a bloke. I got money yes, but I worked for it.

(I've spent a lot on girls! You wouldn't believe it if I told you.) I'd sooner be thought of as a tight **** now, than a mug!!:p

Former Member · July 2003

Thinking about this one ... doesn't it all depend on the word 'expect' ... I mean most of us (boys or girls) enjoy being treated. BUT as with all things with dating & relationships you shouldn't 'expect' things from your partner in that sense ... if it's expected it won't be a treat will it?

Former Member · July 2003

I personally prefer to go dutch but that's just me. However, I think that the guy should at least offer to pay it all as that's how I judge a guy. If they offer then I think well they're not being a tightfisted arse. However, I would never dream of them letting pay it all. I'd least buy some drinks. Girls who expect guys to pay are just taking advantage. You can't demand equal rights constantly and expect the guy to pay for everuthing can you?

First Dates - Who Pays and How Much

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