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im getting a bit pissed off with my friend

lately it seems like everything she says shes gonna do, she cancels at the last minute, this last couple of weeks ive had a broken arm, and a few times shes promised shes gonna help me, 1 was she was going to walk the dog for me, as i cant take the dog and my little boy out at the same time, as its just too much with only one working arm, that evening i phoned her just to make sure she was still coming, and she said shed forgotten - good job i phoned to find out, as i would have been waiting and then ended up either not taking her as it would be too late, or having to take her in the dark, and i hate having to walk her after dark, cos its behind the railway line i usually go, and i get panicky when its not well lit. The she said she was going to help me put Lenny to bed on the night when hubby has his band practice and wouldnt be there at Lens bedtime - I need someone to lift him into bed for me at the moment, she forgot about that too, I had to get my mum to come round and help me at the last minute.
She then offered to walk the dog for me the other day as one of her boyfriends was coming to see her and bringing his dog and they were going to walk both dogs together (her idea not mine)- she then phoned up 5 minutes before i was expecting her to say theyd decided to walk by a pub and stop for a drink, so wouldnt be taking my dog. Today I phoned her and asked if she would come round so we could go up town, she said she couldnt today, but then at 12.30 she texted me and said shed be round at 2. At quarter to 2, she phoned and said she couldnt make it, and did I mind? I said `well no, but I dont know why you said you could in the first place` The truth of the matter is I do mind, Im starting to feel really pissed off, shes supposed to be my best friend, and this last couple of weeks i could really have done with her help, but ive hardly seen her - everything we arrange, she cancels. her local pub is the pub next door to my house, and sometimes when shes having a drink, she pops her head over my garden wall and shouts for me, or shell come round and tell me shes got a drink on the go next door, so she cant stay long - im rarely the first port of call (me, hubby and my mum suspect shes got a bit of a drink problem, although she denies it) She has done me favours in the past which ive really appreciated, for instance she looked after my house and dog on 2 occasions lately, when we went on holiday,and then when i had to go up to my nanas funeral. she stayed at my house and walked my dog every day. I do appreciate this, but itd be nice for her to spend some time with me too. I feel like soooo second best in everything, Ive helped her out loads in the past, always lending her money and not expecting it back, we helped her get her flat, I really care about her but she just keeps letting me down lately. She sent me a birthday card with `best friends` on the front and a long poem, but actions speak louder than words.
what can i do, without being pushy, i dont want to lose the friendship, but all this stuff just annoys me, and she must notice im getting annoyed, its probably a vicious circle as if im moody with her, then shell want to see me even less, but i wouldnt be moody in the first place if she was a bit more reliable.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Im so sorry about the lack of punctuation above, please try and remember to breathe while reading.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I quiet word is needed methinks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh I dony know what to say lovey *hugs*

    I know its hard being let down, especially by those closest to you. its really horrid isnt it. All I can say is that maybe you should try and talk to her, tell her you have a problem and you really need to talk. Or write her a letter if that's easier. Maybe she's having a few problems herself and is finding it hard to focus on anything other than herself. Or maybe she's just being plain ignorant and cant be bothered. Either way... talk to her. even if its just a letter. you'll just drift farther apart and it will eventually get to a point where both of you are waiting for the other to get in contact... you'll just lose touch and you dont want.

    xxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well in the end she phoned and said she would come up town after all - I think she must have noticed my tone of voice when i said `i dont know why you said you would in the first place`. We went and had something to eat up town and chatted and it was really nice, so all is forgiven. She is there for me if I really need her, but she can be thoughtless sometimes (who cant?)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad its sorted honey :)
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