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confusion = please help

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru

This might be quite a long message and I am sorry if it is, I'll try to keep it short.

Basically my girlfriend dumped me earlier this month and she said it was because she diodn't love me anymore and I was too insecure and she couldn't go on loving me enough for both of us. She also found my depression hard to deal with.

I went to see her the week after the split for a few days. It was really weird just being friends and we ended up having sex. After that she kept asking for cuddles and asked me if i could consider an open relationship to which I said "No". She kept saying that a big part of her wanted me back but that she was scared of me leaning on her too much again. We went out bowling with a few mates and I asked her why she looked sad and she said she wanted to hold hands and asked me what I wanted it to mean if we did. I said that I wanted it to mean that we were trying again. About 10 minutes later she grabbed my hand and gave me such a gentle look. You can imagine what I thought. Just before I left she told me there were two people she wanted to be with, me and her other ex but that she couldn't be with either.

I found out that a week after all this she spent the night with her other ex. She did not tell me straight, I found out via someone else and when she found out I knew she apolagised and said she didn't want me to find out that way. I feel this is a very shallow thing to do.

People are saying she sounds very confused and like she doesn't know what she wants. When she slept with her other ex she was very worried over a letter she had sent to her MUm telling her she was gay and also her gran was in hospital. Other people say that what she did was very shallow and shows she didnt think a lot of me.

The thing is although I am angry and hurt and I feel used. I do still love her and it breaks my heart that I can't be there for her when she needs someone (at the moment its too painful)

I don't know what to think, or how to act or feel or what to make of her actions. What are your views

Thanks for reading


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    either you cut your ex completely out of your life or you be there for her in some way.
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