Home Health & Wellbeing

Is it simply shyness or soemthing else?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK, this is difficult to explain, and maybe its just normal and stuff...Sorry its gonna be pretty long.

Anyway, basically ive got pretty bad views about myself, the way i look, am etc, and last year resulted in me not going out the house for quite a few weeks, just simply because i got pretty paranoid about what people thought about me, and had the same views as myself.

Anyway, as I was starting sixth form, and I had to go as i'd feel i was letting people down if i didn't end up going, I felt i really needed to get soem help, and ended up getting my friedn to make an appointment for me, (i didn;t tell her what it was for) but yea, ive got a bit of a stupid fear of ringing poeple i dont know lol :o . Anyway, this was the second time i had been out in all thsoe weeks, and i was literally shaking when i had to get ther and when i spoke to him. He precribed me anti depressents hoping theyd 'help me see my self with a better view' and also todl me to go back in a few weeks to arrange councilling, (but i didn't..not really my kinda thing).

Anyway, because of sixth form, i had to go out (didnt want people thinking i was a freak!! and I slowly got used to it and kinda got back to my usual self, although still some issues have remained, which ive just started notciing lately.

Stupid things such as collecting work from the printer at school, if theres people around i hate doing it as i get really paranoid about what poeple are thinking about me when they look at me. Same if i'm walking down the street by myself, or stupid things like that. Ive always been really shy and terrified of speaking infront of groups of people incase i embarrass myself, or rinign up for pizzas and stuff for the same reason, but its only recently ive started noticing. And its not just me either, my brother frequently makes comments about me syaing ive got a phobia of people and stuff and generally taking the piss...so its obviously showing :( All my friends have a job, but Ive never had one.. but its not due to the fact im lazy (which most people joke about) its because the thought of looking stupid or embarassing myself, or giving poeple the wrong change for example terrifies me!

I know it all sounds ridiculous, it's difficult to explain, and I guess i'm just looking for advice. The fact that i don't even dare rigning for a pizza makes me feel pretty pathetic!

Thanks for reading :/


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there

    While you could just be severely shy and/ or suffering from low self-esteem, what you are describing could also be the symptoms of something like a social phobia, I'm not diagnosing (I'm no doctor) so don't start panicking... but I do suggest you go back to your GP and have another talk. Take a close friend with you for support if you want, and if you don't feel you can explain yourself properly why not print out this page and take it with you.

    The thing is if this is having such an impact on your life it is better to try and address the problem rather than muddling by.

    Some articles that may help:

    low self esteem


    phobic society guide to social phobia and general anxiety

    Hope that helps
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hi amz. dont worry you are not alone. reading through this it sounds scarily like me. I cant do things like ring for a pizza etc and can understand what you are going through. my symptons have got significatly worse since finding out that my bf cheated on me and a lot more noticable. pm me if you ever fancy a chat :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you are suffering from anxiety and deppresion. The anti-depressants will only fix the problems you are having temporarily Counseling is a hard thing to try, but all you have to do is talk. Things you are describing sound similar to lots of peoples fears including my own only yours seem to be taken to the point where they effect your everyday life and if something is doing that then you should speak to someone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me too - I hate phoning people too - espacially strangers - if I can I'll email a company I need to contact rather then ring them - although it don't stop me ordering a pizza, nothing gets in the way of me eating !! LOL!!

    When I phone someone sometimes I think oh I might be disturbing them or something. Yeah now you got me worried, never thought of it as a big deal until now!!! LOL!!

    If you read my recent posting on "Anything Goes" I had to ring this girl up that turned out to be a bit wacky - look up fatal attraction posting for the full story!

    As for going to the printer to pick up work and stuff - I can't say I'm afraid of that. But perhaps it may help to have an out of body experience and try and imagine seeing yourself as if you were in a movie with all the other people around the printer and realise it's no big deal. It's not as if you're getting up on a stage to sing a song and everyone's eyes are on you, everybody else is too busy doing their own thing.

    Your bother is a bit different to other people he sees you all the time, don't worry about it - strangers don't see you all the time so pay little attention to you.

    Are you on the anti-depresies still? You may want to look at some sites on st john's wort.

    But it sounds like confidence is what you are lacking and you need to earn this, you do this by taking a little step at a time. Do something that makes you afraid and overcome it and you'll gain confidence.

    Try ordering the pizza's also consider joining some chat sites which use voice like Pal Talk, you'll need a PC with a microphone to speak to total strangers anywhere in the world.

    try this number freephone number 0800 227711 it's the Dr Pepper consumer line - ask them a question about Dr Peper soft drink. (yes there is a can infront of me)

    There are lots of numbers like it - ring them ask them a simple question and say goodbye - that's it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dont worry im similar to you and have a good mate who is too. You just have to try and sometimes make yourself do things. However small they are. Least your not the only one :) *hugs*
Sign In or Register to comment.