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Aaaah
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Mornin people 
Ive got a problem . . .
. . . Its Paul!!! As most of you know he came back from Iraq last week & even though I missed him loads while he was away, when he came back I didn't feel the same
So I split with him! Which may I add I don't regret even though his parents/family hate me :rolleyes: & my parents think I'm stupid!! Anyways, he won't leave me alone! I woke up this mornin to about 6 texts telling me how much he loves me etc etc & how he wants to talk about "stuff" with me! He's telling me all the good times we have had & how much we used to love each other! & to be totally honest it's pissing me off!! I understand that he obviously wants to get back but I said everything I had to say the other day!
I haven't text him back & I was just wondering what people think I should do?!!
Ive got a problem . . .. . . Its Paul!!! As most of you know he came back from Iraq last week & even though I missed him loads while he was away, when he came back I didn't feel the same
So I split with him! Which may I add I don't regret even though his parents/family hate me :rolleyes: & my parents think I'm stupid!! Anyways, he won't leave me alone! I woke up this mornin to about 6 texts telling me how much he loves me etc etc & how he wants to talk about "stuff" with me! He's telling me all the good times we have had & how much we used to love each other! & to be totally honest it's pissing me off!! I understand that he obviously wants to get back but I said everything I had to say the other day!I haven't text him back & I was just wondering what people think I should do?!!
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Comments
Although, have you given him a proper explanation? Maybe this is all he needs?
I know it must be hard, but you should at least text him back, if not call him - tell him, as Tink said, that it's all OVER. Spell it out for him until he gets it, and tell him you've said all you have to say, and you're sorry but you don't want to keep getting texts from him saying he's still in love with you because it won't make a difference.
It may be a lil hard but I think it's the kinder thing to do
I am going to text him sayin something like:
Im sorry Paul but it's over! Textin me telling me how you feel isn't going to make any difference. Ive thought about this for a few months now & it's for the best. I want u to be happy! Im sorry x
What do you think?!!
He phones and texts me all the time, I've had to tell him my mobiles broken to make him stop. He sends presents and stuff to my house, and I've had to talk to his parents cos they're really worried about him as he's so upset.
I've tried being cruel to be kind, being harsh and ignoring him alot of the time, and I've tried being sympathetic, but nothing seems to have worked. I'm hoping in the long term, after he's found someone new, we can attempt to be friends but I just don't know. He seems to have calmed down a bit now but I think that's cos I've been very blunt with him...
GAHHH and now my mum keeps telling me to get back with him cos she feels so sorry for him and says I've lost one of the loveliest blokes in the world!
Just don't fall into the trap of getting back together with him out of pity.
Anyway, so I'm not really gonna be much help!
Just out of interest, was it someone else that made you split or did you just grow apart?
And have you someone else lined up ?
*Just testing Sir Cum theory*
I guess I have kind of got someone lined up but it was nothing to do with him why me & Paul split :no: I got to know this lad **** really well while Paul was away . . . but I would have never cheated on Paul, or anyone for that matter!
I had Pauls mum on the phone before asking me to go round & I just wanted to tell her to fuck off!! Ive seen a different side to his family now we have split up :rolleyes:
Arh, Mr Cums theory is correct. You have a new potential bf lined up before you get rid of the current one. Hmmm interesting.
NOW SHE SAYS SHE'S HAPPIER NOW THAN SHE EVER WAS WITH ME.
From a very tough experience, I know that any kind of encouragement makes people worse.
And my last ex I split up with, we went from full-on being together to no contact at all when we split up. So so hard but the best way for all concerned. Broke my heart like hell but I'm glad he didn't try & be friends or contact me as I would have got my hopes up of getting back together.
I'm in the middle here. I also had a 'tough experience' with my ex and I let him talk to me, tell me how he felt and so on. Although you may think you're doing the right thing, it doesn't help either of you, as it means you both dwell on the past. I do think that perfect***day is giving good advice here, though. Tell him that it really is over and that there's no point in him constantly telling you how he feels - he should just try to move on. My ex would tell me he was madly in love with me and even that he felt suicidal, and I would sit and listen and try to comfort him, as I felt so guilty about it. I realise now, I should have just been a bitch and said 'look, no, it's over - just accept it ok?' or something to that effect.
Paul may need some time, and I'm sorry to say it but he may go through a phase of being uncivil and maybe unnecessarily bitchy towards you. Of course I don't know him, but he will be hurting and it's a common reaction I think. Just accept it, don't indulge his feelings, and don't expect him to be 'just good friends' (if that's what you want) immediately.
Hope it all goes well, I'm here if you want a chat with someone!
LSS
I've been guilty of doing it a couple of times. You see something new and exciting you want and then your current boyfriend doesn't seem up to standard anymore. Hmm:yeees:
Hasn't happened at all with my current boyfriend but happened with the last one.
I think it happens when you're maybe having doubts already but you think oh well, I'll just stick around and see what happens, maybe things will get better. Then you find someone else and think hmmm there are better things out there. So in other words, it's not the only reason but it can be one of the things which makes you realise that you don't want to be with this person anymore.
With my last relationship I met someone else who I really fancied but who was totally unavailable. But it made me realise wow, this guy's really interesting - my boyfriend's actually a bit of a boring old fart!
And things were pretty much over from then on. :rolleyes:
I didn't split up with Paul because I had a new one lined up! Paul was away for a long time, we could only talk through letters & it's hardly the same! I didn't even think about this other lad while he was away all I wanted was to be with Paul
Anyway back on to subject . . . .
well I sent him the text & I didn't get the nicest of replies back! But oh well, I guess id be the same if he split with me :eek2: Im just going to give him some time & hopefully we can still be "just friends" but at the moment the way him & his family are being that doesn't seem very likely just yet! I love Paul but Im not in love with him anymore! Im too young anyway & Ive got my GCSE's to think about! I don't need the shit that he is giving me!
His auntie rang me last night & told me how he was! He says he's going to fight for me :rolleyes: but I hope he just leaves me alone.