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Clubbing with partner vs. friends.

BillieTheBotBillieTheBot Posts: 8,721 Bot
edited January 2023 in General Chat
I've managed to piss off my wife a bit because I said that I quite fancied going out without her, but that wasnt quite what I ment. In my defence I was quite pissed at the time and perhaps not at my most eloquent.

I like going out with her but its different to my mates, with her I worry about her a bit, making sure she's happy and safe etc, so we tend just to sit around a lot. Which is good but not really kind of full on raving, which is good some times. That and she doesnt like hardcore really.

Where as with my mates I can just wander off and not worry about them what ever, just go where in the club I want and dance n' such.

Now I tried to explain this to her and she didnt get it. Any thoughts?
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Post edited by JustV on

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats a tough one, one I have tried to explain before. I know exactly wahat you mean tho. When you are out with the missus you feel like you have to stay together all the time or keep checking she is ok and stuff. When your out with your mates you have nothing to worry about except having a good night. Its jsut the responsibilty of looking after someone else without being able to completly loose it on your own.

    Sorry I cant give you a solution only understanding of your problem

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I took my mum to an Oakenfold gig not long ago, she loved "Starry Eyed Suprise" and seeing as I had to interview him so I took her along, I was so protective it was unreal pretty much putting my arms up around her while she was (attempting) to dance so no one would bang into her and I couldn't wander around like I normally do.

    My girlfriend comes along to the majority of the events I go to, shes great cause I can wander off and stuff, sometimes it sucks cause these days I have to go and see certain DJs/Promoters and show my face and she says she feels like a tag-along, but she likes it when I'm DJing and she can sorta stand near me enjoying the attention or start groping my arse trying to put me off.. hahaha!

    I see where your coming from tho mate, its a freedom thing, you go out and like to wander around on missions all the time and if she doesn't like the music then well it kinda limits stuff
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Clubbing with partner vs. friends.
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    I've managed to piss off my wife a bit because I said that I quite fancied going out without her, but that wasnt quite what I ment. In my defence I was quite pissed at the time and perhaps not at my most eloquent.

    I like going out with her but its different to my mates, with her I worry about her a bit, making sure she's happy and safe etc, so we tend just to sit around a lot. Which is good but not really kind of full on raving, which is good some times. That and she doesnt like hardcore really.

    Where as with my mates I can just wander off and not worry about them what ever, just go where in the club I want and dance n' such.

    Now I tried to explain this to her and she didnt get it. Any thoughts?


    i had the exact same convo with my fella he likes to wonder about without any responisibilites etc too (fair enough hes my bf and not hubby) ..

    i didnt understand it at first, now i do, cus he does worry about me and feels he cant go and rave as hard as he wants with me there-i cant even go to the loo without him following me incase something happens to me. (he says a rave is no place for a woman... tut)

    he explained that he loves raving with me but he just wants to be able to rave without worrying that im ok all night, he also explained that he doesnt want to dissappear and rave incase im not happy etc...and he wouldnt know. same as the way youre feeling about your wife i guess

    i think, just explain it to her again-that shes great to rave with and you love it, but you need one night so u can just go on one, wonder about free of worries, and because u love her when shes there you do always have little worries and that means you cant do things as you normally would without her...

    once she understands that its because u worry, she should be ok with it..

    and then take her raving with you next week :)

    or if she stil isnt happy, suggest she brings a group of friends and then u can go on one without worrying...?

    It took a while for me to understand that my fella cant help worrying, but ur mrs will understand eventually..

    sorry im not too clear---cant explain myself too well!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The problem is that I'm now in a wierd situation, if we go out together she's going to think I'm only doing it because she got mad, and if I dont then she's going to think that I really dont want to go out with her.

    Its just she's had a couple of nights out where she's been a bit ill so I worry a bit, so even if she seems fine I tend to get a bit nervous.

    That and the last time we went out it was to a Jungle night and she had all these huge black coke dealers eyeing her up, which was a bit odd, none of them were nasty, they had enough bints of their own, but its just a bit nasty anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Bongbudda, I always thought you were quite young, like 19 or something! Isn't it weird how you just assume on these boards?

    I really can't offer a solution, but I know how you feel. As much as I love socialising with my fiance, I still love girls nights out. The are getting fewer and further apart these days and it does my head in. My fiance works long hours so when he gets time off, we automatically spend it together either going clubbing or doing stuff with the baby. He rarely goes out with his mates without me and I don't think its healthy. I keep encouraging him, and he says he'll do summat about it, but it always falls through. I feel like I'm responsible for keeping him entertained and it's a lot of pressure!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am young, or at least I'm not that old anyway. I'm 22.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    I am young, or at least I'm not that old anyway. I'm 22.

    What age did you get spliced?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Clubbing with partner vs. friends.
    Originally posted by bongbudda
    I've managed to piss off my wife a bit because I said that I quite fancied going out without her, but that wasnt quite what I ment. In my defence I was quite pissed at the time and perhaps not at my most eloquent.

    I like going out with her but its different to my mates, with her I worry about her a bit, making sure she's happy and safe etc, so we tend just to sit around a lot. Which is good but not really kind of full on raving, which is good some times. That and she doesnt like hardcore really.

    Where as with my mates I can just wander off and not worry about them what ever, just go where in the club I want and dance n' such.

    Now I tried to explain this to her and she didnt get it. Any thoughts?


    Can't you go in a group, some of your friends and some of her friends, then you guys can arrived at the club together and wonder off whilst she's with her friends and come back together again later.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Her friends arent really into raving as such, its not really their thing.

    When did I get spliced? I've never heard that term before but I'll be married for two years in september. I was 20 at the time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ive been on the other side of the coin where my husband has said he wants to go out with the lads so he doesnt have to worry about me, but ive been a bit miffed because i dont get to go out that much, and would love to go out with him, and some of his lad friends were my friends too before i gave up work. I dont expect to be looked after all night, just to be treated like any other friend. I dont mind him going out without me sometimes , but not every time, and i dont like the `having to look after me` excuse cos he doesnt anyway!
    my favourite is to go out in a mixed group of my friends and his. ive never really understood the idea of girls or boys only nights out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its just that as I've said she has had a couple of problems in the past when we have gone out so I do have a bit of a basis to worry about her.
    That and I have a tendancy to fret a bit anyway.
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