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Are our relationships messed up?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Why are western relationships so messed up compared to eastern relationships? There are so many divorce's, affairs, illigitimate births etc going on in the western world. I'm sure you've all read figures to prove this as well.
If you go to most eastern countries, you'll find that there are no illigitamate children, and people don't have affairs when they are married. Also, people only marry once, and this marriage lasts the whole of their lifetime. (All of this is true give or take a few exceptions).

Lets be honest, idealy, it would be good if relationships lasted for a lifetime. When you get married, you're obviously intending to spend the rest of you life with your partner.
And also, affairs are NOT good.
I'm not sure about illigitamate children. Some say its ok for a child to be illigitamate, some don't.

So what I am asking is, why does it seem like relationships in the eastern world are near prefect, and why can't we follow in their example?

And can I also point out that a lot of these 'eastern' relationships are arranged marriages.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it's as simple as you're suggesting. There are totally different cultures that treat relationships in diffferent ways. They're highly driven by shame and embarassment. So were we in the UK only 50 years ago.
    If you look in to any culture, you'll find illigitamate children, affairs, etc, do happen.
    Arranged marriages are far from perfect, it's just a cultural thing.
    The only thing I can totally agree with is that affairs are not good.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't speak for the rest of the Western world, but my relationships tend to fail because I'm an immature prick.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Are our relationships messed up?

    Lol, depends on your idea of perfect and from whose point of view!!

    I’m sure some people love the idea of being forced into marriage, or some wife love the idea of their husband having a few other wives and having to walk so many paces behind him :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You only have to look back as far as the 40's in the West and you will see that people stayed in relationships, divorces were unusual, children were born in wedlock (And those that weren't were ostracised). the only reason this happened was because societies rules were different. People stayed in unhappy relationships because the alternative was awful.

    at least now we have more freedom to make choices, be more open and change our unhappy lives.

    What needs to change now is this idea that marriage is a fairytale involving a big white dress, total understanding and love.

    I'd rather live in a society where weare allowed to face up to the reality without being bound by some rediculous 'rules'.

    A friend of mine who is 42 had her life ruined because her mother ran away from her father when she was 11 because she was unhappy. My friend felt ashamed, the local community treated them all differently and she cannot talk to her mother about the way it made her feel. If anything she is siding with the 'community' that made her feel ashamed...yet I'm sure her mother had very good reasons for wanting to leave.

    It should be harder to get married as far as I can see, and anyway - why bother these days?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Are our relationships messed up?
    Originally posted by crescendo

    If you go to most eastern countries, you'll find that there are no illigitamate children, and people don't have affairs when they are married. Also, people only marry once, and this marriage lasts the whole of their lifetime. (All of this is true give or take a few exceptions).


    Okay not sure where the less affairs bit comes from because i'm pretty sure that eastern marriages accept affairs more readily than we would. In a lot of the eastern countries the woman is the lower class citizen, therefore for her to have an affair would be a sin, but the husband more often than not does have affairs. Divorce doesn't happen as most of the time it is religiously frowned upon and is socially not acceptable, especially being instigated by the woman.

    You make it sound as if we're all free with our love in the west but we're not held back by laws, religion and sexism so things are likely to be different.

    I'd rather enter into a marriage in this divorce riddled country than into a loveless arranged marriage which won't result in divorce.
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