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No excuses given, just an explanation.
I guess it depends on your morals as to how deeply you feel on such an issue.
And if you'd asked me that question before this weekend, i'm not sure i'd been able to say 100% that i wouldn't cheat on my current partner. But while i was out at the weekend, i... well, i had the opportunity, thanks to my friend and her arse pinching antics. And i turned him down, without even thinking about it, even though it was a time and place that i knew would never get back to my b/f. So. Yes
I don't think I'd cheat on him again but I wouldn't like to put 100% on it, ashamed as I am to say it
If however I had been with someone for years and years whom I loved from the bottom of my heart and wanted to be with for the rest of my life, I think my feelings would probably not let me cheat - I don't think I'd even find the idea appealing.
LSS
If she wants to have sex with other people then its best if she tells me really, otherwise it's not right.
i dont think you can truely love someone and cheat on them,
As ive said here before I am onto my 2nd marriage. I went through a bit of a rough patch with my 1st hubby, we kind of drifted apart. However even when I was married to him I did not stray, I left and got out of that marriage before I even contemplated going with my current hubby.
I beleive if you are in a relationship and moreso if youre married then you stay faithful regardless of anything. If you were/are unhappy in your relationship then get out, have fun and start living again, dont stay in the relationship just for the sake of it.
Nobody deserves to be shit on........not even your partner even though you maybe going through a bit of a rough time
(I dont mean you personally but any relationship)
The most naive and overused quote in the world. People are flawed and make mistakes. Cheating like anything else can be a mistake.
and thats a good reason to cheat on the person your suposed to love
If you feel that you need to cheat then obviously there is something wrong with the relationship that your in, so just leave and do whatever you want to do.
I never said there was a good reason, what I said was that people are not infallible. I'm not advocating it, i think it's a terrible way to behave towards another human being. it's a selfish, arrogant act.
However to say that to cheat means you don't love the other person is a very naive attitude and my relationship states otherwise. I am very much in love with my partner and cannot imagine not being with him. It sounds very cheesy, but every day I think I love him a bit more. I wish i hadn't cheated, but I did and I need to put it behind me and get on our lives.
Let the flaming commence....:rolleyes:
This is a discussion board so lets discuss it ?
So when you cheated was it a one night stand kind of thing or something longer?
If you cheated once isnt there a chance you could do it again, even though you have already stated that you regretted it.
How would you feel if you were cheated on?
Does he know you cheated?
Again these questions are not directly aimed at you personally so please dont take offence because i just cannot understand how you or anyone could be with your partner then 10 mins later nip of to see your bit on the side. Personally I could just never do it I have had one offer very recently but my words to him were *Fuck off*
Exactly what i would say.
It wasn't a one night stand, but it wasn't a fully fledged fling either. It was a kind of infatuation on my part which rose out of what I thought was friendship. It probably spanned over about 6 months, but was really just a few "incidents"
No, there is no chance I would do it again. You learn from your mistakes.
If I was cheated on, I would call the whole thing off, no questions.
I have never told him that it happened. i think he had an inkling at the time and asked about the "friendship" but didn't push it.
Before it happened I also felt as you do and to be honest I still do. I am thoroughly repulsed by cheating and people who do it. It was never something I planned to do and like you, couldn't understand it.
I don't want to prove the pop psycholigists right, but when I was 6 I walked in on my dad in bed with another woman and I had problems trusting men. i think I realy did it to protect myself from being hurt and because othr areas of our relationship were troubled.
but I'm not making excuses...I did a bad thing. I regret it.
I can understand to an extent what does happen to some people. Like my 1st marriage I got no attention, I felt used for sex, he was more interested in his mates etc etc. However I did not cheat on him, I got friendly with my current hubby and we both knew we were going to get together. I at first felt flattered that someone else did fancy me and eventually left my 1st hubby but didnt have sex or kiss my current hubby till id left my 1st hubby.
I'm probably actually too moral to follow it through, I'd break up with my boyfriend before I slept with anyone else.
but then I've only ever had sex with my boyfriend so perhaps one day I'll feel like I'm missing out and do something stupid!!
Even if I had never been cheated on I think I would still uphold such a view. It's a cowardly, pathetic and utterly selfish act. If you're unhappy in a relationship or being treated unfairly you shouldn't have to seek comfort or revenge in someone else, just break it off. I've seen how it destroys families and people's faith in marriage, relationships and themselves. If there's a marriage and kids there is no excuse at all; just break it off. I know people aren't perfect and to make a mistake is inevitably human. But when other people's lives and feelings are involved you try your best to avoid such mistakes. If you make a mistake own up to it, apologise, accept the consequences and responsibilty of your own actions and don't do it again.
fair enough, people do make mistakes, but cheating is only a mistake after its happened. people don't consider it a mistake whilst they're gettin it on.
That is a simplistic way of looking at it when you think of how complex humans and their relationships are.
I would call the whole thing off as there would be more damaged than trust, it would basically re-inforce to me what I have always felt..."All men cheat." Catching your dad who you idolise in that situation is bound to give you trust issues and fuck your head up for life. But I am working at it and am trying my best to get past that frame of mind. I'm doing really well...I think I could actually say now that I have 100 percent (well... 99.99 %) trust in my partner. And I know he feels the same about me. I do feel in my heart of hearts that he knows what happened, but he also knows now that its over. There has definately been a shift in our relationship and are both more committed than we were before. This shift happened after our son was born and we see each other as different people now. Before we were just kids messing about (althought we had been together for a long time). Now we know we were meant to be together and are more than happy go through life together. We are sexual partners, family to each other and mum and dad to the most amazing baby in the world.
However to break that trust now would be devastating to either one of us and that is why I would break it off and walk away.
I KNOW that I will never cheat again, but there is no point in attempting to persuade a bunch of people on a message board of that. I actually think I've shared a bit too much here and don't be surprised if most of it gets deleted later.
Hes well over that now, he trusts me 100% but it was his ex wifes cheating that could have not made our relationship work, if I had been of a different temprament then maybe we would have broke up early in the relationship, but I knew he was just worried that we women were all the same.
Anyway Im really happy you seem to have sorted it all out, you actually come across as nice, family unit. Good luck
If I did, I would, because I am so bloody unhappy with her. I'm planning the big surprise for her, if you know what I mean.