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would you stand for it?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello. I am 19 years old (male) and I have a daughter with my fiance. The thing is I have recently fallen out with a friend because of my sex life (can you believe!?)

I confided something in him and he said it was weird and he would not put up with it.

I admitted that myself and my fiance, although we have been together for three years (and have an 18 month old daughter) have only ever had penetrative sex three or four times. My fiance really doesn't like it, and I am not keen to force her to do it, because I enjoy what we do do (which is surprisingly quite a lot!).

It does not bother me, but my friend has begun to claim my fiance is a freak and so am I for not wanting a "proper shag".

Can we continue like this or will there come a time when I wil have to say enough is enough? I would like to stress that I am very happy with our relationship.

Anyone in a similar situation? Thank you. :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell him to fuck off!

    What you and your gf do is your business, if you tell him anything he does have the right to voice his opinion but not be a cunt about it!!

    Maybe he's jealous of the relationship you and your gf have?

    Don't let him take the piss, have a word with him and then don't confide in him any more.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you Harmless. He has led me to question the normality of the relationship we have.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Van The Man
    Thank you Harmless. He has led me to question the normality of the relationship we have.
    Why?

    If you are happy, what's it does it matter?

    If you do want more penetrative sex, why not talk to your gf about it!

    What does she dislike about it?

    Don't let your friend change you!

    I would find out why you gf doesn't like penetrative sex first, If you enjoy it and she doesn't, it's not fair to just cut it out of your life!

    Maybe it's a simple reason of you not doing enough foreplay on her:confused:

    But don't let this wanker make you think that you are not normal!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Harmless
    If you do want more penetrative sex, why not talk to your gf about it!

    What does she dislike about it?

    Everybody wants to be considered normal, which is why it led me to question myself.

    She dislikes it for many reasons, some of which I feel are too personal to go into, I would rather respect her wishes that I do not tell anybod (no offence to anybody here, you understand?)

    I do not particulary want more penetrative sex, I am very happy with the sex life we have now. I am actually surprised it is as healthy as it is due to our daughter!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok...i pretty much agree with harmless on this one...u have obv. got a good relationship goin with ur fiance, fuck ur mate....listen the best relationships in my opinion dont need penetrative sex to keep them goin, wat u two hav is obv strong dont fuck it up!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thinking about it, your daughter is 18 months old, add nine months for pregnancy, which means you must've been together at for round two and a half years at least.
    Only penetrative sex three or four times in that time is, well, to me, a bit strange. Ok, so you must do other things, but that is odd.
    Anyway, if you're happy, then that's fine.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your friend has no right to tell you what is normal and what isn't. You are very brave to have confided in your friend and he has taken that and thrown it back in your face.

    Perhaps what you do (or don't do) may seem a little odd to some, but who cares? Sometimes the best sex does not involve penetration.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You say you are happy with your sex life - which suggest to me lots of manual and oral. Sounds good to me!:D
    I wouldnt worry about what your mate says, if your happy then thats the main thing:)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    harmess is totally right. and the most important thing is that you dont let someone influence what you think about your own relationship.

    you never know... in the future your fiance might want to have penetrative sex, but right now, you're both happy with the situation you're in, and surely thats the most important thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sprouts
    You say you are happy with your sex life - which suggest to me lots of manual and oral.

    Manual? Does knocking one off count as having a sex life? :confused:

    :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by EssEmm


    Manual? Does knocking one off count as having a sex life? :confused:

    :rolleyes:
    I think if someone else is doing it to you then yes, it is a form of sex
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not up to your friend what you do with your girlfriend. Its as simple as that. If your friend is trying to dictate to you what sort of sex you should be having, then that says more about him than it does about you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by EssEmm


    Manual? Does knocking one off count as having a sex life? :confused:

    :rolleyes:

    That is very insensitive! :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by rainbow brite

    I think if someone else is doing it to you then yes, it is a form of sex

    Thanks rainbow brite, that was what I meant.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understand that it's probably important what your friend thinks in many situations BUT

    if YOU'RE happy, DON'T listen to him! There's no such thing as 'normal' :)

    It would be so sad to ruin a beautiful relationship and a family, just because of an uneducated, closedminded and unhelpful comment from a 'friend.'
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Normality is in the eye of the beholder i.e it doesn't exist.

    Respect to you for being considerate to your good lady friend and future wife.....

    Your friend should shut their ignorant goddam mouth.......
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sex isnt the only important thing in a relationship, surley if ur not actually having sex very often then that might make it more special wen u do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and you ARE having sex - just not penetrative, youre still having a sex life, and if youre happy with it, then its nobodys business but your own and your fiancees
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you all so very much. I wasn't looking for someone to validate the way I felt, not really, I just knew in my heart that my friend was wrong and that what suits one person may not suit another!

    We are very much in love and we are very happy with what we do in the bedroom (a lot of you would be very surprised!)

    Thank you all once again, you've made me feel less freakish. It was nice to here from some of the blokes too, that they were supportive. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    Your friend has no right to tell you what is normal and what isn't. You are very brave to have confided in your friend and he has taken that and thrown it back in your face.


    I agree with Bumblebee...your friend should support you and i think that to be able to confide in a friend is a valueble thing. If you are happy with your family and your relationship with your fiancé, why should you change the way you live your life to fit into the genre of 'normal'. What is 'normal' anyways? Ask your friend what he classes as normal, see what he says then ask him if what heis doing isnt 'abnormal' and you are 'normal'. He may think differently after that.

    Don't change to suit other people, you are you and if your happy then f*ck them!

    Antalya xxx :wave:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with whats been said on here. as long as you and your partner are happy there is no need to worry about what your friend thinks.
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