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Is it in my head or is it the distance?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm more than sure that this has been a topic of discussion manier times on this board but i really am shot as to what to do and would be really grateful for some support or advice or personal experience in this matter.
I got with a guy two months ago. we saw each other daily or atleast every other day on average so we got close, i havent slept with him due to stuff in my past and i wanted to be sure he liked me for me before taking it further. well, two weeks ago he got a job offer in ireland which would take him away until xmas, but its doing what he loves so i was supportive and said if he wants it he should go and asked if he wanted to try and make this work long distance (even though i was sceptical) and he said yes because i made him happy. I was chuffed and he left and we decided we would visit one another.
the thing is, although he sends me great txt messages and calls me every few days (or me him) i cant get rid of my doubts. i feel so insecure and vulnerable and unwanted with him away but i cant tell him that because we havent been together long enough and it would ruin what he is enjoying over there. today he told me how the people he had met wanted to meet me but when he told me how he described me it was wierd, it wasnt how i thought he saw me at all and the doubts in me raged really strong and i wanted to hang up and cry. Am i being a prat? should i let him go before i do his head in or my own? I adore him but i didnt see this coming, with him leaving and now i dont know where to turn. Sometimes i feel i cant miss him more than i do and other times i feel that underneath it all there is a reason he is with me besides liking me. I am so confused...
does it show!?:eek2: :eek: :crazyeyes
so i was wondering if anyone had been through the same and how they dealt with it or just peoples opinions would be really appreciated. thanks. xxx.
I got with a guy two months ago. we saw each other daily or atleast every other day on average so we got close, i havent slept with him due to stuff in my past and i wanted to be sure he liked me for me before taking it further. well, two weeks ago he got a job offer in ireland which would take him away until xmas, but its doing what he loves so i was supportive and said if he wants it he should go and asked if he wanted to try and make this work long distance (even though i was sceptical) and he said yes because i made him happy. I was chuffed and he left and we decided we would visit one another.
the thing is, although he sends me great txt messages and calls me every few days (or me him) i cant get rid of my doubts. i feel so insecure and vulnerable and unwanted with him away but i cant tell him that because we havent been together long enough and it would ruin what he is enjoying over there. today he told me how the people he had met wanted to meet me but when he told me how he described me it was wierd, it wasnt how i thought he saw me at all and the doubts in me raged really strong and i wanted to hang up and cry. Am i being a prat? should i let him go before i do his head in or my own? I adore him but i didnt see this coming, with him leaving and now i dont know where to turn. Sometimes i feel i cant miss him more than i do and other times i feel that underneath it all there is a reason he is with me besides liking me. I am so confused...
does it show!?:eek2: :eek: :crazyeyes
so i was wondering if anyone had been through the same and how they dealt with it or just peoples opinions would be really appreciated. thanks. xxx.
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Comments
*oh what was i gona say?* Ohh yeh i remember now...as for the doubts, i kinda know where you're coming from. I often have doubts as to whether my boyf really wants to be with me or if im just a bit of fun when he's down my way etc. but i think if you really like him you should stick in there. Thats the advice my mate gave me yesterday. Everyone has doubts, long distance relationship or not. Its not unusual to become slightly paranoid and worry. Its just when your doubts become certaincies (is there such a word?!) Well basically what im trying to say is, if its just a thought in your head, pass it by, but if you become genuinely (sp?) worried and start to have big secnod thoughts you should think things through.
Try talking with your parnter. tell him how you feel, what your concerns are, then maybe he can put your mind at ease. Maybe he's feeling the same? See what he has to say.
Im sorry, i dont think any of this is making sense...but hey its late... bleh!
Good luck, hope all works out
*hugs - I know what its like to be insecure
or!! maybe hes shy to tell u he thinks your sexi...you've only been together 2 months havent u?!
just some thought, hope i helped! :wave: