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a possible meeting with the ex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
it's been almost 5 months since my ex broke up with me (we had dated for 16 months prior to that) . we still exchange e-mail once or twice a week and have talked on occassion. this week i asked her if she would want to get together for drinks sometime, since she seems to have become a hardcore party type. as of yet she hasn't replied.

i am unsure if this is a good idea, but if i can't be around her as a friend then i don't see the point in us continuing to e-mail one another. i still have some feelings for her since she was my first love. been told that the first is always the hardest to get over, but i want to have her in my life. even just as a friend.

any thoughts or suggestions would be good.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I posted a similar message last week.

    I broke up with my first love about 3 or 4 months ago. We both loved eachother but due to distance and her going to uni it was decided we should end it ( well..... she decided!)

    She said she wanted to be friends. It was obviously I wanted to be more than friends ( still do now) but I couldn't bare the thought of not having her in my life at all so I agreed. We exchanged xmas cards, sent the odd e-mail and chatted now and again on MSN.

    Last week, she got in touch asking me if I wanted to meet as she was close by..... obviously I thought " I wonder if she wants to get back with me?, does she want to meet because she still loves?"

    I went, I'm glad I did, but every situation is different. If you feel comfortable with meeting, then do it. However, if your only doing it because you may think there is a small chance of getting back together, it may cause you more upset.

    It's a hard call
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i am certain that she does not want to get back together. gathered that after she started dating a guy 2 weeks after she dumped me. i think they are happy together.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    aw! that sounds really sad! i'm going out with my bf 7 months and i couldnt imagine breaking up. it must be really hard!
    in my opinion, i dont think you should meet up with her, even though you feel you really want to. i think it'll just end up in thinkin about old memories and you going home alone in tears.
    your better off gettin on with your own life and maybe you'll find a new gf. best thing to do is enjoy ur single life while ya can!
    you said yourself that she definately doesnt want to get back with u, i think you were too in love with her to just be friends.
    sometimes letting go is the easiest option.

    best of luck to ya! cant be easy!

    hope i helped a little bit anyway!
    :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with what you are saying. If you cannot be friends in "real life" what is the point in talking on MSN etc. You never know, meetingup with her might actually help you get over her etc, although you must be careful. If the old feeling come flooding back then you may be better off not being friends in the long term.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she said that it would be nice to see me sometime, but that we should have someone else there so that it doesn't get awkward. i don't really see the point of that because if we can't hang out then, as i said earlier, there is no point to it.

    i think i am just going to stop e-mailing her and get on with my life. if she wants to talk to me or see me then she can come and find me. i am done chasing after her, trying to be a friend when it is becoming clear that isn't what she wants anymore.

    what is is and there is no changing it. thanks for the advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ReverandX
    i think i am just going to stop e-mailing her and get on with my life. if she wants to talk to me or see me then she can come and find me. i am done chasing after her, trying to be a friend when it is becoming clear that isn't what she wants anymore.

    that, my friend, is a very very good idea. pointless communication which isn't leading anywhere and is purely for 'old times' sake is a waste of time on everyines part.' what is is' do you believe in fate and destiny?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah, a little bit. kind of think that fate or destiny can only take a person so far, then it is up to the person. thanks for the advice again.
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