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Am I being fair?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Would like some points of view on this....

My girlfriend and I were talking about jealous boyfriends and how a chap we know gets jealous if his girlfriend even TALKS to another guy.

I said I reckon that is taking it a bit extreme......although I wouldn't particularly happy if my girlfriend was ALL OVER another guy.

My girlfriend said, "Well, it depends on who it is, cause one of her friends is male and gay......what if it was them?".

I don't reckon it should matter if the person is gay, as I reckon that is discriminating against them if you don't treat them like any other guy.

But the main point I reckon is.....I do totally trust her......but still wouldn't be happy because I would be embarressed that it's MY girlfriend all over someone else.....

I'm not sure whether I'm just being silly, or if I should expect her not to do it because I don't like it?!!!

Any ideas?!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had this same conversation satd nite

    i think that the chances are that the gay friend was around way before the boyfriend came along and also that hes plannin on stayin around till after the relationship has finished

    he also has no interest in the girl other than as a mate and so its just like two girls huggin, theres nothin discriminating about thinkin like that, because the boy has as much interest in the girl as another (straight) girl!

    i think itd be selfish to expect a girl not to be huggy and that with her gay friend just because of her boyfriends incecurities

    so yeh i think ur bein silly! (in the nicest possible way)

    btw, sorry if its a bit of a muddled reply - im in a lesson!

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I see what you're saying........I KNOW that there would be nothing in it.......but do you not think it would be normal for a guy to be a bit embarressed if his GF was all over another guy all night..... say in the pub.....even if he's gay....

    It's not about being insecure.........cause I'm not........I just think it would be embarressing!!!!!

    Btw, this has not happened - it's just hypothetical.......!!!!

    What if it was turned round the other way..........you were out with your BF and he spent most of his time all over another girl.......but it's ok.......she's a lesbian......would you not be embarressed.......and what if you're mates were there????......
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol i also see what ur saying, and i totally understand!

    BUT if you urself know that this boy/girl whatever is gay! then why would you be embarised, if ur mates sed nethin, then ud just say, 'well hes gay! they have been mates 4 however long!'

    id probably be a bit pissd off in the situation but then once my bf had told me the girl was a lesbian, id probably feel a bit daft and try n forget about it

    i mite be a bit jelous that he was all over her neway, because with me being there then he should pay some attention to me! id be angry that i was being ignored because im like that, but i wouldnt be particularly jelous of her in that way!

    if you get me??

    or am i making no sense at all nemore?!

    lol its a confusing subject, i can see both sides... i think

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    YES!!!! I think you're sortof getting what I mean!!!!!

    It doesn't matter if they're gay........cause it ain't a jealousy or an insecure thing.......it's just a "why you all over them, not me sortof thing"!!!!

    If she hugged her gay friend etc..... I wouldn't have a problem with that at all.......probably wouldn't even bother me if they were straight......

    I don't think there's anything wrong with that........
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm not some sort of 'homo-fobe' but i hate how gays think its fine to flirt with someone girls jus cus they ain't interested (well thats what they say, but thats another matter..)
    if everyone had that attitude we would all be over eachother like its a drunken orgy in ayia napa.
    STOP IT NOW!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeh, i think i misunderstood u a little at first then! (sorry but its late(ish) and im STILL at college!!)

    yeh to be all over someone else, no matter who it is, is a little rude really isnt it!

    xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Actually that's a GOOD point.........if some guy flirts with your girlfriend you'd be annoyed.......but if they say that they're gay are you just supposed to just say "that's ok then"???!

    Perhaps it's a case of........"we don't mind prejudious views when it suits us.........."
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tittletattle you hit the nail on the head.....exactly what I'm saying!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think in a relationship you should have respect for your partner and that means not flaunting yourself in front of them with other men. I would never hug or touch a guy in front of my boyfriend, maybe I would kiss them on the cheek, but in my culture we do kiss on the cheek regularly.

    Whether the man is gay or not, your first priority should be your boyfriends feelings if you care about him.
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