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Arghhhh!!!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Ok well most of you know that I split with my ex fiance 8 months ago ish and from a couple of posts recently I'm sure most are aware of the troubles this has been causing me.

I did think I was over him in a sense that I didn't want him back, until last night. I was out with my mates, and so was Andy, went over to say hiya cos I'm friendly like that. Anyway I couldn't take my eye's off him all night, kept looking round for where he was etc. Then when I was getting a drink we walked past him and he offers us a lift home as he was driving. So accepted and gave him a hug...which then turned into me getting with him for the rest of the night.

It felt so perfect again, like we'd never split up and so on. I know he felt the same way about it as well because we have discussed it. He wants us to get back together and at the bottom of my heart so do I. But I'm still not over the hurt from last time, some of the things he's done have seriously hurt and I don't know if that hurt will ever pass really.

I'm also going back to uni in September and I don't want to be in the same situation with that as last time when I quit for him. Really uni is the highest priority in my life at the moment.

But I don't want to lose the chance of getting back with the person I love. I've had enough rel's since and been with enough people, but none live up to his standards.

I just don't know what to do and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks guys. :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know Andy and i know hes a nice kiddy, and i can understand how you feel etc etc.

    I think its really a case of prioritising at the moment. Thats all i can really think of :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Prioritising which way though.

    I know being with him will make me happy, will sort out loads of probs I've got emotionally because of everything.

    But there's uni and can it seriously last through it.

    I don't want to lose him again, but I'm not sure whether nows the right time or not.:banghead: Don't know which way to turn.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well only you know if it'll work through uni :)

    I gather they are both very important to you in different ways but you need to think long term what would be best for you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah they are both very imprtant. I really need/want a degree and it is something I'm going to manage tis time. But Andy means the world to me and is the only person I want to be honest.

    Uni's a tricky one. Thought last time it would be ok, but it wasn't, I ended up quitting and causing problems in my life. I was miserable cos I couldn't be with him, but in trying to be with him too much didn't make the friends or have the student life style I wanted. I don't want that happening again this time, so had vowed I was going to uni single. Now I just don't know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have no single friends at uni. Living the student life doesn't have to mean being single. It can be done with a relationship. If you decide to give it a go with uni as well then surround yourself with friends who have bfs at home too. They are great support when i am feeling down and missing my other half. And they know how you feel too. plus girls nights out where none of you are on the pull can be fun as well!!

    In the end its down to you. Any chance of changing unis to be closer to him if you are that serious about him??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am going to go fairly close to home, prob Manchester, leeds or liverpool are the other two but Manchester is where I want to go. I just know I'll miss him and want to be at home seeing him more regularly. I know it can be done, just puts more strain on the rel, and with past happenings both uni last time, and reasons why we split in the first place, I don't know how wise it would be at the present moment in time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This is what happened to me every single time I split with my boyf - though we have never split up for more than about 3 weeks! I guess if after 8 months apart you still want to be with him, then it must be quite serious? Can you just see how things go untily ou start uni? You've got 7 months til then....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah it is serious between us. We always said we'd get back together one day, just once we'd had time to grow up and were ready to settle down properly. Is 8 months a long enough gap to get to that stage in?

    We were planning on getting married next summer, and it was pressures that put on the rel that made everything come to a head and us split up.

    If I wasn't going back to uni, I don't think I'd have any doubts in getting back with him. But yeah I suppose there is still 7 months before so giving it a go and making sure it is really what we both want might be a good idea. The longer we leave it the less time we'll have together before then, which I suppose would put more pressure on it anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kazbo
    But yeah I suppose there is still 7 months before so giving it a go and making sure it is really what we both want might be a good idea. The longer we leave it the less time we'll have together before then, which I suppose would put more pressure on it anyway.

    If you try again and in 7 months time you're both still really happy and all loved up, then that's fab isnt it? Where's the problem?!
    If however between now and then you decided that maybe it wasn't such a good idea, then fair enough. I think that 7 months is long enough to give it a go and make your minds up one way or another.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Very true Faith.

    Thanks guys. Think I'm going to give it another try. Have aserious chat with him first, but the whole idea has put a smile back on my face that aint been there since we split up, I aint going to let it slip away again and I'm sure I can manage to juggle uni and a fella at home around each other. :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kazbo
    Very true Faith.

    Thanks guys. Think I'm going to give it another try. Have aserious chat with him first, but the whole idea has put a smile back on my face that aint been there since we split up, I aint going to let it slip away again and I'm sure I can manage to juggle uni and a fella at home around each other. :D

    Good Luck hun :D
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