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Love

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Fifteen months a go-i met this lad one night, totally besotted with him and ended up getting together. Things are still goin strong now, but when your nearing 18 isnt that a bit much for that age?were practically like a married couple!
I love him although it took a year to really realise how strong my feelings were for him.
But i cant help but think about the fun i could be having meeting other lads although i never wana lose him. Do these thoughts show that im not happy?wanting something different-or is it just normal?
Ive always imagined that i could never spend my whole life with just 1 person, but if it was to happen what about the fun im missin out on?Anyone else is the same position?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This happened with my Ex. I realised how much fun I could be having rather than being tied down, although I didn't want to lose him, we split up after 13 months. I was only 17.

    I had fun. I met loadsa new people. Now I'm with my current boyfriend, and to be honest, I don't want anyone else. We've been together for 5 months and just seeing how it goes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know what you mean, ive been with my boyfriend for two years now.i absolutely love him and really do want to spend my life with him.but im 18!
    my friend who had been seeing her boyfriend of 5years---and she is 20 just split with her guy because she felt she had to go out and experience things, be with other people.
    another who was 18 was living with her guy and they were engaged has just split with him.they couldnt pay the rent and she just thought-fuk im 18 i should be having fun right now!!

    so i want to spend my life with my guy,but i do sometimes wonder what it would be like to be single again like you.and i think that at some point my boyfriend will be like that too. im at uni at the moment and its so hard being apart and am really scared of losing him.but what happens happens.we have talked about having a break while im away and getting back together after uni-but he doesnt want me to find someone else?that would just be like still being in a relationship if i didnt c anyone else though...
    and oh my christ i just looked outside and it is snowing SO MUCH
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    although its easy to look at other people and think your missing out on loads of fun...they probably want what you have-a great boyfriend.so many of my friends envy me!i dont want to go out and sleep around-could you imagine sleeping with anyone but your boyfriend?right now i can not at all, and i really dont want.i just sometimes feel a bit restricted in what i do because my boyfriend gets jelous quite easily-but i know that is only because he doesnt want to lose me to anyone else.you can still have a laugh with your friends and your boyfriend!think im really lucky to have my guy x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 26, have played the field and still feel like this sometimes! I do think about what I'm missing out on but then when I see my boyfriend & think about how wonderful he is and how I'll never meet anyone like him again as he's sooo great (OK I'll stop now) I count myself lucky that I've met the right person, rather than wondering what life could be like with the wrong guy(s). You aint missin' nuthin'.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am 19 and I have been with my boyfriend for four years.

    I don't wonder about the fun I could be having because I am having fun. I go out with friends, I have a nice job and (mostly) enjoy university.

    I think the key is not smothering each other. You say you're practically like a married couple? There is the problem then!!

    I live next door to my boyfriend and have done all my life (even when we weren't together - ie. kids!) and we still manage to maintain a healthy non scary relationship because we have a good group of mates.

    Some friends of ours had been together four years andsplit up before xmas (back together now) because they were stuck in the same old routine and their hearts weren't it in anymore. Introduce some variety into your life.

    Some other friends are 25 and have been with each other for eight years and are great together. I think it all depends on the individuals.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think just about everyone has felt that way when they're in a long term relationship. I know I have but then when I think about it seriously I can't imagine myself being with anyone except my boyfriend. I suppose I'm in a bit of a different situation tho cos me and my boyf didn't get together til I was 19 so I knew what a bunch of arses most guys out there are.

    One of my best mates has been with her boyfriend since she was 17 - she's almost 22 now. She goes on about how they're gonna have a break and go out and have some fun and stuff then get back together. I just can't see how something like that could work. What if one person met someone and the other didn't? Plus if I went and slept with someone else or knew my boyfriend had, I don't think I could feel the same way about him. Maybe thats just me, I dunno.

    I do know tho that if you're happy then why risk losing that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my boyfriend fell out over this last night. He said he felt I was unhappy because I talk about the past alot and he said it's as though I wish I was back how I was before I met him. But it's not that, it's just I sometimes think how I'm 17 (18 tomorow:D) and if we did ever split then I woulda ruined things cos my friendships with my mates are suffering cos all I wanna do is be with my boyfriend. But I'm really happy I've got him and wouldn't change him for the world.

    I don't think these feeling show that you're unhappy in the relationship, it's just when you're young and see others around you having abit of fun before getting into a serious relationship it just makes you wonder. I think only you can truly tell if you're happy or not?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i felt exactly the same when i was going out with someone, i ended an 11 month relationship and i know i did the right thing, agree with what someone said about smothering each other, you have to give each other space and time to just hang out with your friends otherwise you will want to kill him with a blunt pencil. personnaly i think my relationship ended bcos i felt trapped and smothered and someone was dependant on me, i hated that bcos i like being independant. i guess the key is balance.
    anyway good luck!

    :D
    I fell into yesterday.
    Our dreams seemed not far away.
    I want to, I want to, I want to stay.
    I fell into fantasy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    must be a girl thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its nice 2 hear im not th only one then! i know i shud appreciate things abit more with him because i know i am very lucky to have him. But when ive never been in another serious realtionship thats gone wrong then its hard to appreciate things because i dont have anything to compare it to-if that makes sense!
    Thanks for the replies-sounds like there are more nice lads out there than we realise!:)
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