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Frustrated and Uncomfortable

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
This is really annoying me and my other half for that matter.

My boyfriend and I want to start getting more ahem, touchy, feely with each other. We want to connect emotionally and physically. I'm totally up for this as he makes me horny as hell.

But,

I'm really really uncomfortable with my body. I hate almost everything about it. I'm over weight, and gorilla-like. I'm disgusting. Whenever he touches me somewhere intimate I laugh because I get nervous. I'm SO terrified about being naked in front of him.

I don't want to wait until I lose weight to make love to my boyfriend.

How can I be more confident?

*screams*

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Since he's with you and wants to have sex with you, you can assume that he finds you attractive. Since I've been watching daytime teevee lots, you can have the handy hint I got off Trisha the other day

    When you look in the mirror, and see yourself and start thinking "I'm unattractive" you have to add "but [whoever your boyfriend is] thinks I'm lovely" to the end of your thoughts. Do that enough times and you're supposed to gain confidence in the way he feels about you.

    Or turn the light out.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    relax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    does he have the perfect body, does anyone???????????????????

    nuu so chill a lil, just set up a nice nite in. put on a film and snuggle up close. and just move on slowly from there, u have to understand that what is pleasing to the eye is rarly pleaseing to touch. take silicon breasts hmmmm, i mean they can look great but can feel crap. and dont worry things allways work out in the end. once u relax then u will feel better both inside and out, and think how it might be making him feel. everytime he try's to touch u u laugh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Shave.

    It'll minimise the gorilla-likeness.

    Seriously though, what Mist said was good advice, and very true - if he's with you, he probably wants to sleep with you, and think's your beautiful anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do dammit.

    Fast re-growth and stubble pisses me off.

    Mist, I think I'll stick to having the lights out ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You just have to be brave and take the plunge cos once you get over the initial hurdle then you'll be fine. Like the others have said, he's going out with you so he obviously finds you attractive.

    I wasnt comfortable with my body when I started seeing my boyfriend nearly 2 years ago and then when we first started getting intimate it was lights off and under the covers. Then I gradually built up more and more confidence and my boyfriend kept telling me I had nothing to worry about and that I was beautiful and now it's not even an issue. I never thought I'd see the day when I'd walk about naked in front of a guy, now Im hardly ever dressed!!

    Good Luck hun :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was totally the same with my boyfreind. Dont worry though!! I think almost everyone is to begin with and i still am in a way!
    I told my boyf why i was scared and he told me to stop being daft.
    Everyones concious about something-so dont worry. You'll soon feel better about it and stop puttin yourself down because that will make you less and less confidant!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah I know what you mean. I can't expect to feel comfortable straight away, I guess, if we take it one step at a time, I'll get there. Plus I'll lose weight. Yeaah. :chin:

    Thanky!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Frustrated and Uncomfortable
    Originally posted by Alabama

    I'm really really uncomfortable with my body. I hate almost everything about it. I'm over weight, and gorilla-like. I'm disgusting. I don't want to wait until I lose weight to make love to my boyfriend.
    Alabama, did't you used to be on Liv4Now under another name? I think there was a pic of you on the Liv4Now gallery?
    If it was you, and you haven't changed much, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Mist has summed it up well, I can't really add much there.

    An ex of mine was a bit podgy, and could've done with losing 20 lbs. However, I still liked her. Even with her double chin, tubby tummy, big thighs (with cellulite and stretch marks), and swollen ankles (she had a water retention thing, so most of the extra weight was on her legs & thighs). I still enjoyed being with her, naked. I still enjoyed seeing her naked.
    Now, I will happily state that I think fat is unatractive, but I loved her, and although it would'be been nice if she had lost the weight, I still liked her and loved her as she was. Your boyfriend loves you. Try not to worry about it, and enjoy yourself.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Frustrated and Uncomfortable
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    Alabama, did't you used to be on Liv4Now under another name? I think there was a pic of you on the Liv4Now gallery?
    If it was you, and you haven't changed much, then you have nothing to worry about.


    :yes: I used my real name, Zoe.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Frustrated and Uncomfortable
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble




    An ex of mine was a bit podgy, and could've done with losing 20 lbs. However, I still liked her. Even with her double chin, tubby tummy, big thighs (with cellulite and stretch marks), and swollen ankles (she had a water retention thing, so most of the extra weight was on her legs & thighs). I still enjoyed being with her, naked. I still enjoyed seeing her naked.
    Now, I will happily state that I think fat is unatractive, but I loved her, and although it would'be been nice if she had lost the weight, I still liked her and loved her as she was. Your boyfriend loves you. Try not to worry about it, and enjoy yourself.

    Mr_Wobble ;)

    I get what your saying Wobblesome. But its annoying as I want to be perfect for him. I don't want him to think "Oh, she'd look better if only she lost weight". ARGGHGHGHGH, for fucks sake, I really am, so, annoyed with myself right now. Jeez.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We all have these insecurites, ive been with my boyfriend 7 months and cant get naked in front of him! but in my previous relationship it took me two weeks!?? I cant figure it out, all i can say is try doing things that will make you more comfortable, i.e having a bath toghteher etc thats what im trying to do at the moment :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It seems to me that a lot of women are not happy with their bodies but usually for no reason at all. Nobody is perfect and indeed, perfection is in the eye of the beholder. Be happy with who you are and you will find that you will make other people happier too.

    If you really want to do something positive, do some sort of exercise to tone up and/or alter your diet to something healthier.

    Being naked in front of each other is very liberating and not something to be ashamed of, after all, each of us started out that way :-)

    In summary: Enjoy being who you are and remember that someone likes/loves you no matter what you think is wrong with you.
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