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living together?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi, im new to this site and i seriously need some advice. ive kinda inadvertly asked my bf 2 move in with me and it didnt go down to well. all i said was that i;d like to move out of home some time in the next 2 yrs and i jokingly said "u fancy comming with me?"and he didnt answer. but really, if he'd have sed yeah sure i'd have been over the moon. we've been 2gether a yr and a half and we r totally in love.
i dont want 2 scare him away or move 2 fast 4 him. he's 9 yrs older than me and he's been engaged b4 and got seriously hurt and i think he is scared he'll b hurt again. especially since im only 18 and goin 2 uni next yr.(although im not moving away so we can stay 2gether) he thinks i'm gonna run off with another guy. which cudnt b further from the truth. i know he's rite 4 me. i just dont want 2 push him into anything.
so wot do u think? u think im being majorly paranoid or i shud have just kept my mouth shut?
any advice is sooooo greatfully received..
thanks:confused::confused:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just ask him how he feels about it. Tell him you were making a joke, and it wasn't intended as an actual invite. Perhaps also mention that you would love to live with him, when he feels ready, if that time comes he can let you know.

    Also, assure him that you love him and nobody else.

    Why are some people so insecure? That alwasy puzzles me!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ask him how he would feel about moving in with you.Reassure him that you do love him and that you're not likely to run away and leave him high and dry.

    He may be scared because of the fact that moving in together does have to have a certain level of commitment in the relationship, and maybe he's unsure. Talk to him, and see how it all goes. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, well you said he was engaged before and seriously hurt, this may be the reason why he didnt answer.
    Maybe ask him again, but reasure him that you love him so much and you wouldnt ever hurt him.
    s_m_b xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sounds to me like you didn't as him to 'move in with you' you asked him to leave where he is at the same time that you leave where you are and to get a flat together which is slightly different. Perhaps he likes it where he is, who he is with?

    I think the best thing you could do is get a place on your own or with some friends (If you are living with parents at the moment) then he would be able to visit you , stay over etc.

    At the moment you are proposing a massive change for him and you and perhaps it would be useful to see how you will act by being on your own, in your own flat without trying to get him to make such a big leap into the unknown.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the advice. after sleeping on it i do think i was being a bit paranoid and living with someone is a HUGE step.i think this is when the age gap starts 2 show. i think im being a little niave about us living together.thaks for the advice
    XXX
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah i'm just take things slow. oh and a word of advice, watch the text speak in your posts, regulars HATE it:)
    xxx
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