Santas xmas peom....

This is brilliant ! :crazyeyes:

> Twas the night before Christmas and all through the flat
> > The techno was blaring, 'twas too loud to chat
> > The rizlas were perched on the table with care
> > And smoke full of chemicals soon filled the air
> >
> > We'd just been out clubbing, I truly was trashed
> > My friends were all here and equally mashed
> > We'd popped a few pills and we'd had a quick sniff
> > And just settled down to a nice tasty spliff
> >
> > When out on the balcony rose such a clatter
> > We looked slowly up to see what was the matter
> > I got to my feet and I swayed to the door
> > And only occasionally fell on the floor
> >
> > I peered through the glass as I took a long puff
> > The land glistened softly with rubbish and stuff
> > When what to my wandering eyes should appear
> > But a fat man in red and a team of reindeer
> >
> > He yelled and he ranted, gave each one a kick
> > I knew in a second it must be Saint Nick
> > He shrieked at each Reindeer and cursed them alike
> > F*ck you!" yelled Rudolph "we're going on strike!"
> >
> > The reindeer did turn and soar into the sky
> > And Santa growled something that wasn't goodbye
> > I watched as they went in a puff of pink smoke
> > And vowed from now on to stay off of the coke
> >
> > As debris did settle St Nick turned around
> > He swore as he angrily kicked at the ground
> > He gave me a gesture that clearly implied
> > He'd be very pleased if I let him inside
> >
> > I threw the doors open and ushered him in
> > Invited him through with a welcoming grin
> > "So where are our presents?" my smashed flatmate cried
> > With a look of astonishment, Santa replied;
> >
> > "You seriously think you might be on my list?
> > You've got to be kidding, you're taking the piss!
> > Have you lot considered your actions this year?
> > Stop being stupid and get me a beer."
> >
> > He opened a lager, but still looked depressed
> > We asked him to tell us what made him so stressed
> > My reindeer have left me" he said with a sigh
> > "Unless I have reindeer I've no way to fly!"
> >
> > "Now look here" I told him "we may not know much
> > We don't help old ladies, kiss babies and such,
> > But Santa, there's no need for you to despair
> > We know how to get you back up in the air!"
> >
> > I chopped up a line with precision and skill
> > And rolled him up neatly a 20 bill
> > His face lit up quickly with real Christmas cheer
> > "Perhaps you kids WILL get some presents this year!"
> >
> > He spoke not a word but got straight to his mission
> > He snorted that line with wholehearted ambition
> > Then Santa skinned up and he smiled as he puffed
> > We knew that our stockings this year would be stuffed
> >
> > He sprang to the balcony, leapt from the railing
> > Soared to the sky with his present-sack trailing
> > I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
> >
> > "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"