Home Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Self-harmng and telling people

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've posted before in the really long thread about self-harming but as that seems to be a dead thread now I thought I'd start a new one. As I said I was planning to, I finally went to the doctors about my self-harming (I've been cutting with razors about 3 and a half years) and got some anti-depressants. She said I needed to talk to someone I trust etc about this but the thing is I don't really trust anyone. I've not told my parents, they are totally unaware of how unhappy I've been or that I've ever cut myself. I think my mum would be upset. Have any of you got any experience of telling parents this type of thing? I guess the timing makes it hard too. It's been so long that I've been keeping it a secret. I've not told any of my friends either.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dont think your parents would be the best people to tell first.

    Id suggest to tell a friend first and talk to them about how you feel/have felt.
    ________
    Ipad Cases
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be honest I've kinda lost touch with my "friends". I'm on a GAP year you see and they are all at university now. They do e-mail me to let me know what a great time they're having and I don't like to dump stuff on them now (especially not via e-mail). I work full time but my collegues are just people to make polite conversation with and discuss work with. None of them are my age anyway. My doctor suggested refering me to a mental health nurse but I'm not too keen on that idea.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how feel about takling to people, im in the same situ, but thats another long and boring story!!!!

    Does your have GP have a surgery counciller, cos thats who i see and its better then seeing someone on the NHS Mental Health side of things.
    ________
    Nice tits live
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I doubt it... my doctor asked if I could afford private counsilling but I can't. She said that if she did refer me it would be to a nurse liason person. But she said that she'd wait until my next visit which is next week to see how the medication was going. But to be honest I don't really see how paying a stranger to listen to me would be in anyway helpful.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i see.

    For some people it helps for others is dont.

    If you tell ur parents, i'd suggest (as you can tell, my sugestions arent very good!) you tell whichever one u closer too first, they'll probably be more understanding.
    ________
    Marijuana
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you read our factsheet?
    http://www.thesite.org/info/health/other_mental_health/self_harm.html
    The number at the bottom is for the Bristol Crisis helpline - they may be able to refer you to a specialist counsellor who doesn't charge.

    Also, speak to your doctor again and ask to be put on the waiting list for counselling, if you aren't on it already. I'm not sure what kind of person you've been given an appointment with, but if you have been self-harming for three years then counselling or therapy would be very useful to you.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was cutting, severely depressed and had an eating disorder for about 8 years before anyone found out.

    one of my friends wrote a letter to my mum without me knowing, and she was devastated.

    but she was really good about it and came with me to doctors appointments and therapy sessions if i needed someone...



    the longer you think about it the harder it's going to be. but it's such a nice feeling to know that someone at least knows what you're going through and is looking out for you.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mum knows I have depression and deep down she know i self harm but she wont admit it because shes scared to. She lost my dad to Bipolar Disorder as he killed himself.
    My ex boyfriends mum knows and she keeps an eye on me, if she sees ive cut myslef again she sits me down and makes me tell her why etc. That helps a lot and i havent cut myslef for nearly 2 months now, which is a big acheivement.
    I cant talk to my mum about how i feel, it hurts too much.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know this isnt the same as cutting urself but it kinda relates...Ive been depressed for about a year and recently told one of my teachers of course she wants to tell my parents but i dont want her to, i know i shud talk to her but i dont wana hurt her and dont ever feel like the time is right...u need to talk to a counsellar or sum1 even if it is a nurse bcoz it helps to talk.
    I know this probably hasnt help but if u ever need sum1 2 talk to send me a private message and ill listen.

    Hopethings improve for u
    :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks everyone for your replies. I went back to the doctor and she said that I can get some free counsilling through a local young persons service although she didn't mention this before (I don't think she realised I'm still 18 ). So I am now on a waiting list for that. And I have decided that I won't tell my parents if at all possible as I don't want to scare them. Oh and thanks to Karla as well.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya

    Seeing a mental health nurse is not as bad as it sounds, honestly. I suffered from depression and had anti depressants, I was also given a nurse. she was brilliant, she used to just come and chat away with me, it was just like having a friend round for coffee. Obviously at 1st I didnt open up to her, because after all she was a stranger. After a few months I really did start feeling better. She used to give me loads of advice and help. The thing is, thats all she deals with, people who are depressed, problems like yours and stuff like that.

    Have you not got a close auntie, or someone whos a bit older you can tell in confidence what problems youre having? Im a parent and to be honest if my Daughter had these problems and couldnt come to me then I would be devestated. She should be able to come to me with anything, I know the problem you have got is pretty serious and it would be hard to explain. They would most probably be shocked, probably angry with themselves for not noticing something was wrong with you and im sure there would be loads of other emotions going on. Your parents probably would be scared about whats going on, but if they knew how unhappy you were then I think they would do everything they could to help you.

    Well done for starting to get help, you have taken probably the hardest step which was admitting that you have a problem, I hope you get all the help you need :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hiya again :)

    After reading some of your posts I decided to go and have a look to see if I could find any information for you. I found a few sites which weren't that good however I did find this one :

    WWW.self-injury.net

    It seemed to have a lot of info, places where you can post stuff, so have a look there you might get some help :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi again
    Ive just tried the link I put but it didnt take me where I thought it would. If you go to through the link, scroll right to the bottom of the page to the last update. That will take you to the forum:)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just wanted to say that the website that BeckyBoo recommended is pretty good. I've already spoken to Becky about stuff too but I thought I'd respond here too incase anyone else in a similar situation reads this thread at a later date and wonders about it. Oh and I'm called Randomgirl on there too if you see me. And as Becky said you go to that link and scroll down to the bottom option.

    Randomgirl xx
Sign In or Register to comment.