If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Breaking Up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry this going to be long as I'm really down!
Well I first came to this site when started going out with my (ex)girlfriend.
We first met on holiday and despite us living quite a way from eachother we decided to carry on seeing each other.
I'm 19 and before we met I'd NEVER been in a relationship and I was a virgin :eek: Girls never seem to be interested in me, and the very odd time they are I just don't feel anything for them so nothing happens.
I've always had "a perfect girl" image in my head and my (ex) girlfriend fitted the Bill. She was brunette, sensible ( I'm not one for getting plastered every weekend and going out all the time), very attractive and intelligent. She made all the moves on me and it was brilliant.
Anyway everything was going smoothly, we were both finding the distance hard but we thought it was worthwhile as we always had something to look forward to .
4 weeks ago, she came up to stay at my house for 3 nights. We had the best time ever, she said how much she loved me and how I was the perfect boyfriend. She's never told anyone before that she loves them but she told me. I was so happy.
Anyway we couldn't meet for 3 weeks due to exams etc. But we planned for me to stay over at her house for 3 nights ( last weekend).
However, in this time she was very quiet. She was replying less and less to my e-mails, texts and phone calls were limited. I asked her quite a few times if anything was wrong and she said nothing, she was just run down and stressed out about uni applications.
Anyway I went down last weekend, had a good time etc but I noticed she wasn't wearing the bracelet I brought her on holiday ( she never took it off before). I thought this was strange but forgot about it.
Anyway basically, she has dumped me ( Tuesday Night) and I am distraught.
I know that long distance stuff never hardly works, I accept that but I'm just really disapointed. I get the feeling that when I went down last weekend she knew it would be the last time we'd meet. I presumed we'd meet before Xmas again but looking back, the signs were there that we wouldn't.
She say's " It's best to stop it now before one of us really gets hurt"... I CAN see her point of view, but I feel she hasn't thought about how I feel.
What makes me most upset is that I know that I WILL NEVER see her again and that someone in the future will make her smile and that person WON'T be me! Also waht makes me upset is that we didn't say goodbye properly. She probably knew this was the last time but I didn't!
I just feel soooooooo down..... Everyone say's " There are plenty more fish in the sea"... and I know that's true. BUT every girl in the future I will compare to my ex and I'm scared that this will stop me having other relationships.
I mean, it's took me 19 years to have my first girlfriend, it just seems it's going to take ages before I'm happy again.
Xmas will be awful as I'd already planned what I would be getting her and her family
I just feel all alone, rejected and unwanted by the girl I love. I'm an only child aswell so I haven't got an older brother or sister to talk to and help me through this. My parents are lovely and willing to listen but it's awkward. I have friends but no one I feel I good open my heart to.
It just feels like the end of the world at the moment, and my future doesn't look good. I hope to god that I will be happy one day but I don't think I will be as happy ever again. Each day seems like a month at the moment
She says she wants to be friends, I do to but I don't think I can? HOWEVER I just can't pretend that she doesn't exist can I?
I've taken her photo out of my wallet and it's really hard to believe we aren't together. I just can't figure out what's changed. She say's she still loves me but unfortunately I don't believe her.
Don't worry I'm not on the point of suicide I just feel down. I used to have something to look forward to ( meeting her) and now I can't think of anything to look forward to. I love xmas but it won't be the same.
Sorry for the long message, no doubt not many people have got to the end
Well I first came to this site when started going out with my (ex)girlfriend.
We first met on holiday and despite us living quite a way from eachother we decided to carry on seeing each other.
I'm 19 and before we met I'd NEVER been in a relationship and I was a virgin :eek: Girls never seem to be interested in me, and the very odd time they are I just don't feel anything for them so nothing happens.
I've always had "a perfect girl" image in my head and my (ex) girlfriend fitted the Bill. She was brunette, sensible ( I'm not one for getting plastered every weekend and going out all the time), very attractive and intelligent. She made all the moves on me and it was brilliant.
Anyway everything was going smoothly, we were both finding the distance hard but we thought it was worthwhile as we always had something to look forward to .
4 weeks ago, she came up to stay at my house for 3 nights. We had the best time ever, she said how much she loved me and how I was the perfect boyfriend. She's never told anyone before that she loves them but she told me. I was so happy.
Anyway we couldn't meet for 3 weeks due to exams etc. But we planned for me to stay over at her house for 3 nights ( last weekend).
However, in this time she was very quiet. She was replying less and less to my e-mails, texts and phone calls were limited. I asked her quite a few times if anything was wrong and she said nothing, she was just run down and stressed out about uni applications.
Anyway I went down last weekend, had a good time etc but I noticed she wasn't wearing the bracelet I brought her on holiday ( she never took it off before). I thought this was strange but forgot about it.
Anyway basically, she has dumped me ( Tuesday Night) and I am distraught.
I know that long distance stuff never hardly works, I accept that but I'm just really disapointed. I get the feeling that when I went down last weekend she knew it would be the last time we'd meet. I presumed we'd meet before Xmas again but looking back, the signs were there that we wouldn't.
She say's " It's best to stop it now before one of us really gets hurt"... I CAN see her point of view, but I feel she hasn't thought about how I feel.
What makes me most upset is that I know that I WILL NEVER see her again and that someone in the future will make her smile and that person WON'T be me! Also waht makes me upset is that we didn't say goodbye properly. She probably knew this was the last time but I didn't!
I just feel soooooooo down..... Everyone say's " There are plenty more fish in the sea"... and I know that's true. BUT every girl in the future I will compare to my ex and I'm scared that this will stop me having other relationships.
I mean, it's took me 19 years to have my first girlfriend, it just seems it's going to take ages before I'm happy again.
Xmas will be awful as I'd already planned what I would be getting her and her family
I just feel all alone, rejected and unwanted by the girl I love. I'm an only child aswell so I haven't got an older brother or sister to talk to and help me through this. My parents are lovely and willing to listen but it's awkward. I have friends but no one I feel I good open my heart to.
It just feels like the end of the world at the moment, and my future doesn't look good. I hope to god that I will be happy one day but I don't think I will be as happy ever again.
Each day seems like a month at the moment She says she wants to be friends, I do to but I don't think I can? HOWEVER I just can't pretend that she doesn't exist can I?
I've taken her photo out of my wallet and it's really hard to believe we aren't together. I just can't figure out what's changed. She say's she still loves me but unfortunately I don't believe her.
Don't worry I'm not on the point of suicide I just feel down. I used to have something to look forward to ( meeting her) and now I can't think of anything to look forward to. I love xmas but it won't be the same.
Sorry for the long message, no doubt not many people have got to the end
0
Comments
And you will meet other people, don't go thinking she was the only one for you.
Good luck. Keep busy, it helps.
I know exactly what you mean. It's weird, but when you meet someone new - you don't forget about your ex, you just find something attractive/that you love in that someone new, that isn't associated with your ex.
I met someone who I work with and he's the total opposite of my ex - I never in a million years thought i'd be attracted to someone else, but it does happen. He doesn't actually want a relationship, but hey. :eek2:
Anywya, you never forget about your ex or stop loving them completely - you just become more open to other people i suppose
It's a nightmare at the moment, and I feel the same, that I'll never be able to love anyone again because I'll always look back to him, etc. etc. but I hope that one day that will change, and i'm sure it will, for both of us.
good luck.
Don't get me wrong, I've fancied girls before and eventually got over them, but at the moment it is hard to imagine I could find anyone more perfect.
I suppose it's quite lucky that we live quite far away because the chances of me bumping in to her are very remote, infact impossible but that's even worse because if we lived closer things may have worked out.
It's very hard, I'm an only child so I have no one really close to talk to. My mum means well, but she has never gone through the pain I'm going through now because my dad was her first love
Infact, that pisses me off more! LOL! However, I wouldn't be here otherwise
Don't hesitate to e-mail me, maybe we could help eachother?
I just had to contact him today about money he owes me and it was really hard. He also lives really close to me so I have the chance of bumping into him often which is horrible because I start to get better and forget him, and then I see him and go right back to the start.
Someone said something to me that really helped, although it doesn't exactly fit in your situation..but they said...
"ben might not just be the same person you were in love with. just remember that people change and now all you can do is be strong and think of that person that used to be, knowing that the person he is now would hurt you."
I suppose for me it's kind of like the person I was in love with is dead (if i can say that) and i just have to move on. It's SO hard though.
Anyway, if you think it would help then by all means contact me again and we'll talk.
Take care!
Your first relationship is usually the hardest as your unsure as to how your meant to do things act, love etc:
But its like riding a bike after the first succesful one its a lot easier to build on and continue.
Dont look on the badside of the relationship being over but dwell on the happy thought and memories it brought you and strive ahead to meet them again in the future
I do try to think of the good times but at the moment that makes me more unhappy because I know what I'm missing
I'm off out to get bladdered tonight though
But as some of the other posters have said, keep ya chin up and think about the happier times of ya relationship. Also I wouldn't try and compare new girls you meet to your ex, if you like them thats fine, but comparing them to her would just confuse you on whether you should go out with them
Good luck mate, and hope you get over it
I know exactly what your going through. It's hard when the person you love finishes with you.
But it does get easier. the pain gets better and you will start looking for new people. It won't be imediately, but you will in time. There's plenty of other people out there for you and they'll start showing their faces more and more as you get older.
Just stay strong is the only advice I can give really.
Thats a great piece of advice, just grow to like the new person for who they are and dont compare them to your ex, as they wont liek it and as Apestyler has said will confuse you and make you feel even worse.
i know that doesn't help you now. take care of yourself, go out more, and focus on anything other than her. it will get better. try not to get to plastered though. as fun as it is drinking doesn't solve much.
don't worry about meeting a new woman at the moment. things happen when you least expect them to. just enjoy being able to look around for a while.
if you want to talk or something about it then feel free to e-mail me or whatever. take care man. things will look up eventually, you'll see.
I know there will be someone else for me somehere
It's strange I've always had a picture of my ideal girl in my head. However all the girls I have fallen for in the past haven't been anything like my perfect girl. My ex did though
The girls in the past who I have really fancied never felt the same back. Also girls who have fancied me I've never been interested at all. However for once, someone I liked, liked me to
I'm slowly coming to terms with it now, but I know it won't be easy.
Thanks again, no doubt tomorrow I will be really depressed! LOL!
Even though we have broken up, I still think about her most of the time, obviously I can't control my emotions with a tap