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Gfs Ex and sex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone, I’m new here and would like some advice.
I am 20 and my girlfriend is 18 – been together a year. My girlfriend has slept with two other people, but my girlfriend was my first.
Now these may seem really arrogant, but here goes.
When my girlfriend gives me head, she never completes. She stops and I have to finish off myself with my hand. I don’t see this as a problem, but I know that she used to complete with her ex boyfriend. Why doesn’t she do this with me? It makes me feel inadequate to her ex in a way. Is this stupid? How can I talk to her about it?
Last night we were led in bed and she spilt her drink. We cleaned it up and we made a joke about who has to sit in the wet patch. Curiosity took over and I asked her whether she has ever had sex without a condom (ie. wet patch). She said yes and I was gutted. She has always said to me that I have to wear a condom, etc. One time we were discussing not using one and she said that she would only when we were living together. Once again it makes me feel inadequate to her ex.
I know these are really pathetic, but why do I feel like this? Does anyone else? Please give me advice!
I am 20 and my girlfriend is 18 – been together a year. My girlfriend has slept with two other people, but my girlfriend was my first.
Now these may seem really arrogant, but here goes.
When my girlfriend gives me head, she never completes. She stops and I have to finish off myself with my hand. I don’t see this as a problem, but I know that she used to complete with her ex boyfriend. Why doesn’t she do this with me? It makes me feel inadequate to her ex in a way. Is this stupid? How can I talk to her about it?
Last night we were led in bed and she spilt her drink. We cleaned it up and we made a joke about who has to sit in the wet patch. Curiosity took over and I asked her whether she has ever had sex without a condom (ie. wet patch). She said yes and I was gutted. She has always said to me that I have to wear a condom, etc. One time we were discussing not using one and she said that she would only when we were living together. Once again it makes me feel inadequate to her ex.
I know these are really pathetic, but why do I feel like this? Does anyone else? Please give me advice!
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Comments
Don’t push her to, if she doesn’t want to you will have to get use to it. (or find a new gf)
As for not swallowing, maybe she doesn’t enjoy it and feel safe with you that she doesn’t have to do it! Or maybe your doesn’t taste that nice and she doesn’t want to swallow it.
Talk to her openly about it. And stop letting her Ex get you down, its you she wants otherwise she wouldn’t be with you, and I guess if she talking about moving into together she wants your relationship to last!
You could however do stupid thing of openly asking her why she did these things with her Ex and not you. but I doubt you will get the truth, or an answer that will make you happy!:p
Good luck
I'm glad i had enough casula sex before i got into relationships to not have this kind of head fuck happen to me.
An old girlfriend of mine - Who I dated for 8 months - Told me it was awkward to stay at hers. We had sex in my flat, our cars, in hotels, in fields and everywhere else but not her house. When we split up she got herself a new boyfriend within 2 weeks. Within 3 weeks he was regularly staying at her house. Weird girl.
Don't even think abotu her ex boyfriend(s). Its more hassle than its worth. And you;ll always be comparing yourself against them which is a bad thing.
In a way you have to kind of shut out anything to do with exes. Say, just for an example, an old partner once said "That was the best orgasm i've ever had". Eventually you discover that they didn't even have one, they faked it! Now you move on to your current partner "That was the best orgasm i've ever had". Now what do you do? Go ballistic and accuse them of faking it? No way!
So forget about her ex and any ex of yours and live the now. Everyone's different and people change.
I have a problem with not thinking about her ex boyfriends because they are still in contact. One rings and texts her quite often (weekly/fortnightly) and other by email.
It's always there in the back of my mind.
It's not really helpful to yourself to have us try to second-guess her reasons for what she has done in the past. You may find that she had unprotected sex before she realised the possible consequences of her actions and so started behaving more responsibly. And she may not like to "swallow" now because she realises that she should only do what she is comfortable with - not what her ex may have demanded of her.
Speak to her, be supportive of her reasons and always rememebr to talk.
Good luck!
Thanks for your reply.
I have tried talking to her, but she always gets angry and won't talk.
She did say to me that her ex sort of forced her into not using a condom. I'm not fussed about using one or not - thats the point. It just hurts and upsets me to think that she does these things with her ex (together for 5 months) but wont even consider/talk with me.