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Death is in the air
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm not sure how to word this or anything and it's only come to my mind again because I've got some drink in me.
The thing is my uncle is very sick and they say has only week/weeks to live. (Cancer!)
I'm going to see him tomorrow and I know I won't know what to say to him!
Another sad ponit is that I've not cried in 5 years (I didn't cry at my Granddad funeral) Now I fear I might not cry at my Uncle's, I think there maybe something is wrong with me?
I know I'm a strange person but I can't see why I wouldn't cry at the mire thought of someone I love dying, I know I should wait for him to at least die before I worry about these stupid thing/feelings but they are in my mind.
I've not thought about him being gone before! and maybe I should now, I am also being selfish as well but I won't go into that.
I'm not sure why I'm posting all this, I guess it's just to get it all out of my system and try and focus on helping my uncle and being supportive.
I hate seeing him tho because the memory I've had of him from when I was a kid has now been robbed from me because I'll only ever be able to see him as he is now! And its sad because he looks so weak and ill -(He's also an orange colour!)-
Do you think its bad I might not cry at my uncles funeral?
I think i could cry but something is not letting me, Its like the switch is broken or something and I can't make heads or tails of it!. I might change at the funeral tho?
I hate having the smell of death in the air!
Sorry for the bad spelling and Grammar.
(P.s I'm not sad right now so no need for sympathy) :crazyeyes
The thing is my uncle is very sick and they say has only week/weeks to live. (Cancer!)
I'm going to see him tomorrow and I know I won't know what to say to him!
Another sad ponit is that I've not cried in 5 years (I didn't cry at my Granddad funeral) Now I fear I might not cry at my Uncle's, I think there maybe something is wrong with me?
I know I'm a strange person but I can't see why I wouldn't cry at the mire thought of someone I love dying, I know I should wait for him to at least die before I worry about these stupid thing/feelings but they are in my mind.
I've not thought about him being gone before! and maybe I should now, I am also being selfish as well but I won't go into that.
I'm not sure why I'm posting all this, I guess it's just to get it all out of my system and try and focus on helping my uncle and being supportive.
I hate seeing him tho because the memory I've had of him from when I was a kid has now been robbed from me because I'll only ever be able to see him as he is now! And its sad because he looks so weak and ill -(He's also an orange colour!)-
Do you think its bad I might not cry at my uncles funeral?
I think i could cry but something is not letting me, Its like the switch is broken or something and I can't make heads or tails of it!. I might change at the funeral tho?
I hate having the smell of death in the air!
Sorry for the bad spelling and Grammar.
(P.s I'm not sad right now so no need for sympathy) :crazyeyes
0
Comments
Don't feel guilty about not crying. People react in different ways, you don't have to prove your grief by acting in a certain way.
It was my Grandad's funeral today, I never went to a funeral before, I didn't cry, it's not a weeping kind of family, you know English families, keep your back straight type of thing. I nearly cried but was glad I didn't.
Take care bab.
It's sad as well because out of the 4 funerals i've been to, 3 were for under 20 year olds. 2 car crashes, 1 drugs overdose and my nan dying from lung cancer
I don't know why it is, but I never try to dwell on things like that, because as sad and upsetting as it may be, death comes to us all and this may be why you aren't crying, because deep down you know this.
It aint bad if you dont cry either, everyone has their own way of dealing with things *hugs* anyway
I couldn't bring myself to say much to him but he was so high on the drugs they have pumped into him I don't think it really notice so it didn't matter!
The white in his eyes was no longer there, It had now been replaced with a yellowly green colour, and he skin is the same!:(
I feel sad for him now because I don't think he will come out of this one, but luckily I still have some old pic of him so the memory hasn't been stolen from me altogether, I can't believe it's happening to him at 51 (He stop smoking years ago) if only he had also given up the drink as well then maybe he wouldn't be like this now.
Its sad, but such is like. I think he's had some good inns and I know I've had some great times with him so I'll be able to treasure them.
I'm still being very selfish in wanting all this to just be over, it's so sad we have to go through this phases when we die!
Oh well, glad I got it off my chest. I feel better for it!:)
Really it's just awful though. The pain, the suffering, the anguish
I wish I could do something for ya mate but I can't. I hope his final hours are as painless and nice as possible.