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Still hope?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey all. OK, I have posted here before, but it was a long time ago so I forgot my password when I needed topost this, and so re-registered. Heres what this post is about:

A few months ago, I put a post up, as there was a friend I not only fancied, but loved her too. When I told her I fancied her, I found out she didn't fancy me, and was gutted. I posted here to ask what to do, and you guys said even though I love her too, there was no way I could go out with her coz she didn't like me aswell, and that I would get over it soon. (I said I was depressed).

Now heres what has happened: I still have not gotten over it, and each day, all I think about is wanting to go out with her.

And heres what I'm asking: Recently, it was my best friend's 18th birthday party. (Not the friend I'm talking about, this another one). She was there with us.
All night, she seemed "down". She told her best friend who was also at the party that she was depressed because everyone has boyfriends and she doesn't, and that she wanted one.

So what I'm asking is that if she is after a boyfriend which I just found she is, is it worth asking her out? Is there a chance she would say yes? When she told me she didn't fancy me, that was last May, so that could've changed. And I know she did used to fancy me at around the start of the year/end of last year.

When she told her best friend that also, we tried cheering her up by saying we're single aswell. (Which we are). And someone with us said why don't you go out with Chris, you both like each other! Her face then went red, so that made me think "Does she like me again". I don't know though, so I'm now a bit confused - Chris is me by the way!

So......PLZ HELP SOMEONE!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First off, welcome back :)

    Right, so you declared love, and it all went pear shaped. Not the best outcome, but as you say, things have moved on since last May and the situation is now decidedly more confuddling.

    If I was you, I'd get a friend to feel her out (not in the literal sense, obviously ;) ). Get a mate to ask a few questions, like whether she wants a boyfriend, what she thinks of you, etc etc. Whatever you do, do not rush headlong into another declaration of undying love... you'll probably frighten her half to death. Get a notion of whether she likes you or not, then decide,

    Think very carefully about your options. Do you really want to risk another broken heart? If you really do like this girl (and it sounds as if you do) weigh everything up before a decision. Let us know what you decide to do. xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, thanks for replying coz that has helped, you asked me to let you know what I decide to do, so...

    I'm going to ask her best mate next time I get the chance, and see what happens from there.

    Heres a point I forgot to put in the post above though: The day after the 18th birthday party, my best mate asked if I still like her, I told him yes, and he just said ok, but had a frown on his face when I said that.

    I know he likes her aswell, but doesn't love her. I haven't told him that I do though, he thinks I just fancy her. So I'm worried hes gonna go and ask her out before I get a chance, anyone know anything I can do about that?

    And by the way, if her best mate tells me she doesn't like me, I'd still prefer it if she didn't go out with him. Not coz I want to go out with her, but another reason:
    He only asks girls out for their looks out and nothing else. He once asked out a person who he hated and she hated him, but did it coz he found her attractive. Also, the longest amount of time he has kept a girlfriend is for 2 weeks. He always dumps one when he has "got into" her a few times. (Slang for kissed). - I don't want him doing that to her too, coz shes one of the best mates I have, and I don't want to see her upset. If he did that to her, I would start a fight with him, as when he is with a girl, he doesn't even respect her! Another time, he asked someone out just so he could tickets to a concert then dumped her once he got the tickets, which was 2 days later!

    So anyway, how can I "beat him to it"? And then if I find out she still doesn't like me, what can I do to make sure the above doesn't happen to her?

    Thanks, LOTS, to any replies posted!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry nothing to do with your problem but are you any relation to rockerchick.......?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah, the old problem of two mates after the same girl again. Right, you say you're going to talk to her best mate. Do it soon. If your mate is half as bad as he sounds, you don't want him to hurt this girl at all, or she'll be inconsolable.

    It would also probably be wise to bring up the subject with tthe girls mate with whom you're going to have a chat. Mention casually that your friend has his eye on someone, and outline your fears and what he's like. Hopefully, knowing wha us females are like, this girl will immediately go and tell the girl you like, thereby killing that particular problem :D

    I reckon you should tell your male mate exactly how much you like this girl. If he's any kind of mate, he'll back off.

    :) Good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Tashmania, tell your best mate how you feel about this girl and if he's any kind of friend he'll back off. However, I'm not sure after having done this it's such a good idea that you tell the girl's friend as she will know that you like this girl and may report it to the girl in question in the format that you're trying to tarnish any competition going. You don't want to appear like that as I should imagine that if she was going to select you, you would want her to do so because she prefers you over anyone else regardless of your opinions about the competition. And hey don't assume that she is stupid as she may already know all this stuff about your best friend and may have already formed opinions of her own.

    The road isn't always clear is it? ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey - Thanks for that! Next time I see her is this tuesday, but thats with the one I like aswell. I'll do it if she leaves to go the toilet or somethin. If not then I'll do it over the phone.

    From the last post, I well she does know what my best friend is like - She has seen it all, aswell as me. I'm still worried she'd still go out with him coz he's a looker to the girls. - So I'll talk to him aswell.

    And the girl I likes best mate - She already knows that I love her so I don't need to her that, I just need her to find out if she likes me or not.

    And thanks again ppl!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeh go for it dude, pointless thinking for the rest of your life what could have been. Go get it sorted and ask her :)
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