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Self-Harm journal TW

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  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,354 Community Manager
    LorryTruck wrote: »
    Day 54 - 26 days clean. I was so close yesterday to losing it all, but I didn't. It becoming really hard.

    Well done @LorryTruck you're doing really well <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
    LorryTruck
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon 🦋 Posts: 2,066 Boards Champion
    I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. <3
    You're doing amazing right now! 26 freaking daaays!

    LETS GOOOOO <3
    LorryTruck
  • gracejeff20gracejeff20 Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    Hey @LorryTruck ,

    Your strength and determination these last few weeks has been amazing. I am so pleased that you have been able to avoid self-harming for 26 days. Fidget cubes are a great idea btw! It is good to relieve your pain and stress in a non-harmful way.

    I hope you had a nice weekend. What did you get up to?

    :)
    LorryTrucklovemimoon
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Hey @gracejeff20 I didnt do much tbh at the weekend. Just sat in the sun listening to music. Did you do anything nice?
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Day 55 - 27 days clean. Really struggling :( It's the middle of summer so it's not a good idea, but it's still in my head.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoonLucy307Aife
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 975 You're a wizard, Harry
    @LorryTruck we are all so proud of you and are supporting you all the way. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Sending all the hugs and positive vibes 💜💜💜
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    AifeLorryTruckOli
  • gracejeff20gracejeff20 Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    @LorryTruck a month, wow! I am really happy for you. Do you have a method of coping for times like last night when you were really struggling.

    Keep taking it one day at a time. You've got this.
    LorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Hey @gracejeff20 Thanks! I dont know how to cope, because at night my head seems to go in overdrive. I just try to get to sleep.That's the only issue I got atm, is when I wake up at night and I'm thinking about it, mainly caused by the dreams I sometimes have.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Day 57 - 29 days clean. It's actually becoming very difficult for me. I'm not sure what to do apart from hang in there. I keep staying up late as well, and overthinking about everything. Still can't believe I lasted a month though.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoon
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    edited July 30
    Day 58 - 30 days clean! Still finding things difficult though.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    Supernovakimberley1907lovemimoonzaynab_5
  • kimberley1907kimberley1907 Posts: 86 Budding Regular
    Hi @LorryTruck! Just wanted to say well done for staying clean! I'm so proud of you. I know it's been hard, but we're all here to support you through this. You're doing so well. How have you been coping so far?
    LorryTruck
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon 🦋 Posts: 2,066 Boards Champion
    Whoooa 30 days cleeeeean!
    I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time.
    Your preservance is strong as hell, @LorryTruck and well done for making it this far! ❤
    LorryTruck
  • kimberley1907kimberley1907 Posts: 86 Budding Regular
    @LorryTruck I'm so proud of you for doing so well. Even if it is a struggle, it is worth it. I'm glad you've been enjoying music and using that as a way to cope. I honestly use that too mostly.
    LorryTruck
  • OliOli Posts: 118 The Mix Convert
    LorryTruck wrote: »
    @Oli

    I have two favourite bands: Bring Me The Horizon and Citizen Soldier. I actually really love them so much. Yeah I know hits radio, they play pretty good music sometimes I agree. Any favourite artists?

    Yeah I'm definitely getting one ha, seems like it would be useful

    Oh cool! Bring Me The Horizon are the ones who did 'Can You Feel My Heart', right? Hmm, no particular favourite artists! I tend to go through phases haha. Listening to quite a bit of Lauv's stuff atm :)

    Did you get a fidget cube in the end?

    (also well done for reaching 30 days! <3)
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 394 Moderator
    Big well done @LorryTruck ! <3 we love you so much x
  • meilameila Posts: 82 Budding Regular
    Hi @LorryTruck <3
    You are doing absolutely brilliantly! <3 I struggle with it myself too, and I don't know what coping mechanisms you have in place, but I'll say what I do incase it helps you <3 when I get the urges (and don't laugh at me XD) I'll put on some really cringy music to make me laugh and have a proper workout (whether it be strength or stamina), until all I can think about is how my heart is pumping round my body and how amazing the body is to keep up with what we demand of it. The oxygen rushing to your lungs, absorbing into the blood stream, all whilst your body realises it's too hot and sweats to cool down. It's simply amazing :3
    I don't know if that helps, but sometimes maybe heading for a state of bodily appreciation can be really special :3<3
    With hugs,
    meila <3
    OlilovemimoonLorryTruck
  • AbbyOwlAbbyOwl North of Watford GapPosts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey @LorryTruck <3

    Just checking in to see how you are doing? x
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Im doing great @AbbyOwl

    Im still clean. Not sure how many days but I'm still clean.

    @Oli I bought a figit popper
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoonAbbyOwl
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Well we are on day 87! And 58 days clean!!!!

    Nearly 3 months.

    Thank you guys for all the support and I'm sorry for not keeping this updated, I was on holiday.

    But I'm back! And still managing.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    AbbyOwl
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 394 Moderator
    You're so awesome @LorryTruck !! I cannot express how proud of you I am <3 How was your holiday? x
    LorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Day 90 - 61 days clean!

    @AislingDM My holiday was amazing, I feel a bit better than I have been feeling. Thanks for asking <3
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    Lucy307AislingDMlovemimoon
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,340 Wise Owl
    Awwwwww I'm so proud of youuuuu!
    LorryTruck
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 975 You're a wizard, Harry
    So so happy for you, 61 days !! Amazing 💜
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
    LorryTruck
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Day 93 - 64 days

    Sorry I've been bad updating this.

    I've been doing well. The occasional thoughts come to my head, but I've been managing to push them down.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    lovemimoon
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 394 Moderator
    Yay for the holiday, i'd love to hear more about it =) Once again such amazing amazing well done! How are things now that school is back on? <3
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandPosts: 2,227 Boards Champion
    Day 100 - 71 days. Today has been so hard.

    @AislingDM School had been extremely stressful. Im in Year 10, but I wasnt expecting it to be this bad. I've been unintentionally rude to some teachers, and it's been playing on my mind.

    I'm trying so hard not to lose focus and overthink, but I can't.
    The dark is the only place I feel like I belong...
    meilaAislingDMlovemimoon
  • RuhRuh Posts: 48 Boards Initiate
    Keep going - well done and shout scream if u need to, let it out! Be proud 😀
    LorryTrucklovemimoon
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 394 Moderator
    That sounds extremely stressful for you, particularly when you've just started a new school year. Having all this unexpected pressure and challenges is really frustrating, so it's unsurprising that you were unintentionally rude. Plus the fact that you recognise that this was not great is really good and reinforces how much of a good person you are! We are so proud of you xx
    LorryTruck
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