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Does social media wreck relationships?

Danny!Danny! modPosts: 560 Incredible Poster
facebook-break-up.jpg
Not that it's my usual source of news, but this article in the Daily Mail argues that “Twitter causes relationship conflict, which in turn is linked to emotional and physical infidelity, breakups and divorce”.

Spending too much time on social networking sites when you’re physically with your partner, flirting publicly online (even if it’s not going anywhere, it can still hurt), and keeping in touch with exes are all cited as reasons for Facebook and other social network sites contributing to relationships breaking down.

What do you think? Would relationships be better if we ditched Twitter and Facebook? Or can they be a good thing?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think relationships would be a lot better without twitter and Facebook. I don't have much to say about it, I guess I'm just going off personal experience. But I think any stupid stupid stupid little thing on social networking sites can cause jealousy and controlling behaviour.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spending too much time on social media sites when you're with your partner could cause a problem - but then could spending too much time texting your other mates, watching TV, playing candy crush, reading, going out with friends, sleeping, not paying attention when they're talking, etc etc.

    I'm not sure how social media is a special case for that, other than some people think it's an easy target to blame for the ills of the world.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    I think any stupid stupid stupid little thing on social networking sites can cause jealousy and controlling behaviour.
    Surely that's no more social networking's fault than car theft is the owner's who left it unlocked.

    EDIT: No, bad analogy. Let me try again.
    ...than a racist attack is the government's fault for allowing the victim to go in public.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's all about taking responsibility for your actions - some people seem to think because it's not IRL that it doesn't matter. But it does. I don't think social media destroys relationships per-say but irresponsible use messes everything up.

    Say thing that, it's not all bad. I'm not sure what me and Riotbf would do without social networks considering we're in a semi long distance relationship and don't get to see each other anywhere near as much as we'd like.

    But heck I wouldn't trust someone who flirted with other people in public let alone online.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Social media on its own does nothing. What it does though is facilitate things that people may be predisposed to. In the olden days, cheating on your spouse was something you did with people you met in the real world. You could only stalk/rekindle things with your ex by physically going to see them. Because the risks were greater, I'm sure it put some people off.

    Along with things like cyber bullying, social media is more of a curse than a blessing.
  • Danny!Danny! mod Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    I'm not sure how social media is a special case for that, other than some people think it's an easy target to blame for the ills of the world.
    Whowhere wrote: »
    Social media on its own does nothing. What it does though is facilitate things that people may be predisposed to.

    I'm a bit undecided on this one. To play devil's advocate, there are a couple of arguments I've heard that say social media is a special case:
    • There is something addictive about Facebook, Twitter etc that offline (e.g. watching TV) or more passive (e.g. YouTube) activities don't have.
    • Making communication so easy makes it a lot more likely that you would do something you wouldn't do face to face - for example, you might feel a bit silly asking your ex's friends who the're seeing now, but it's easy to Facebook stalk them. Or you might know it's not fair on your partner to be calling your ex, but feel Facebook is more casual so OK.
    • Having conversations public opens up things we wouldn't usually be faced with. So, it might be that you know your partner would flirt a little bit with people occasionally but it wouldn't go anywhere, and you might do the same. But if you actual see it, it can be hurtful.

    What do you think?
    lovemimoon
  • Danny!Danny! mod Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    ... it's not all bad. I'm not sure what me and Riotbf would do without social networks considering we're in a semi long distance relationship and don't get to see each other anywhere near as much as we'd like.

    It's interesting to hear a positive side too. Does social media give you a form of connection that other things like calling, texting or Skype wouldn't? How is it different?

    Would you use something like the 2Life app (a private, secure social network for couples) mentioned in the article?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skype gives us a better connection - seeing someone as well as talking makes me feel closer to him.

    I might give it a try. It's nice to have something special and separate for us.
  • Danny!Danny! mod Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Miss_Riot wrote: »
    I might give it a try. It's nice to have something special and separate for us.

    Cool - let us know how it works for you!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't get me wrong,I can see the positives in social media. I have a lot of family overseas who I can keep in touch with. However as soon as you put someone with half a braincell near it all hell breaks loose. I deal with a lot of bullying that is facilitated by social networks. From some of the things I see every day I really would not want to be a teenager growing up today and having to cope with some of the shit that goes online.

    Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk
  • Danny!Danny! mod Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Whowhere wrote: »
    I deal with a lot of bullying that is facilitated by social networks. From some of the things I see every day I really would not want to be a teenager growing up today and having to cope with some of the shit that goes online.

    That's sad. In your experience, would you say it's worse than the offline bullying which happened before social media (and still happens)? Or just in a different form?
  • Danny!Danny! mod Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    meggles wrote: »
    Came a cross this... I know it's not really to do with relationships... but it is About the effects social media such as facebook and twitter has on today's society I guess.
    Worth watching if you want anyway

    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY#t=284

    I like that :) I think it's about relationships - how shifting too much of our focus onto interactions through social media can take away from face-to-face interaction, which is always where the most meaningful moments will be.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd say its worse. Traditionally bullying was generally confined to one place, ie school. At least getting home offered some respite, even if a return to school would start it all over again. Even in school kids have places to go now where they can avoid it. What they can't do is easily escape the shit they see online. The abuse online follows them home into their "safe place". IMHO it makes it far worse.

    Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk
  • Danny!Danny! mod Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    Whowhere wrote: »
    I'd say its worse. Traditionally bullying was generally confined to one place, ie school. At least getting home offered some respite, even if a return to school would start it all over again. Even in school kids have places to go now where they can avoid it. What they can't do is easily escape the shit they see online. The abuse online follows them home into their "safe place". IMHO it makes it far worse.

    That's a good point - and I suppose that goes for all forms of relationship. You have constant access to the online world, especially with smartphones, and so there's no "safe place" from whatever feelings it brings up in you.

    Maybe it's more necessary now to find ways switching off? I think there's a risk that people see social media as something that happens to them - you have to go on Facebook because everyone else is, it shows you photos of people having a better time than you are, your ex posts photos with someone else etc.

    But we still have a lot of choice about how we use the technology. We can choose who we're friends with, whose pictures we see. We can choose if and when we look at social media sites. This won't avoid all the problems, but I think as we try out using different technologies in different ways, we can start to distinguish between more and less helpful ways of using them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Whowhere wrote: »
    I'd say its worse. Traditionally bullying was generally confined to one place, ie school. At least getting home offered some respite, even if a return to school would start it all over again. Even in school kids have places to go now where they can avoid it. What they can't do is easily escape the shit they see online. The abuse online follows them home into their "safe place". IMHO it makes it far worse.

    Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk

    I agree with this. Not quite the same; but I had problems last year with someone harrassing me over Facebook. He was reported, blocked and deleted. His response was to set up a new profile and sent me friend reuqsts, which went on for months and months. Police were no help at all either.

    Have also been in the situation more than once where I've been harrassed by text. Both people have pretty much blamed me for their behaviour and both claim they've done nothing wrong.

    I was bullied at school in the days before Facebook and before everyone had mobile phones. At least then, it stopped when I got home.
  • tkdogtkdog Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    It depends on what social network and what you define as one. I mean I made a lot of friends online so in that sense important. But I never liked facebook because it only made you compare, feel left out and connected to people you didn't care about. And people often used it as an excuse not to talk to u irl. As well as that it was a privacy issue.
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon 🦋 Posts: 2,303 Boards Champion
    That's an interesting topic!

    Something I want to touch on - when talking about social media and the impact on our relationships, I always think it comes down to the type of users and the relationship they have with social media.

    social-media-types-of-social-media-users-Favim.com-3303838.jpg
    Different-Types-Of-Social-Media-Users-2.jpg

    The images are not meant to exactly determine the type of user you are but it's there to give a general idea.

    The way we use social media could affect the way we communicate, especially in real life. I've seen friendships ruined because of social media. Whether it's the timing of the replies, or ghosting, or screenshotting... I feel like the miscommunication affects that. And with the instant connection social media gives us, I also feel like it adds another form of pressure.

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