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Why I joined The Mix

ApolloApollo Teenage DirtbagScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 802 Part of The Mix Family
My mental health has always been pretty good, not the greatest mental health in the world but probably top ten. However, at the start of last month I noticed that I didn't want to do anything at all, and spent days just lying in my bed. In the following weeks things got better and I thought that whatever that was had went away, but in the past week and a half it has come back and in a much worse way.

Last Thursday at around midnight something strange happened and I'm not entirely sure what it was. I started shaking and hyperventilating and in general feeling very scared for no apparent reason, I think it may have been a panic attack but after looking it up there were many symptoms that I did not experience so I don't really know what it was. After that happened I did breathing exercises that I happened to see on Instagram earlier that day, no clue if they were legit but they worked. When the main part of it faded after just a few minutes and controlled breathing, it felt like part of what I had felt stayed with me, that fear and loneliness, just in a less intense form. When I went to sleep that night I woke up on Friday and that feeling had still not left me. And all throughout Friday I felt scared and lonely (even though I have a great group of friends) and I couldn't shake it and it felt like I couldn't do anything other than lie in my bed.

On Saturday it went away and I felt very happy but then that night it happened again and Sunday was awful. Things have now just been following this pattern of being good for a while then being so bad that I can't do anything and just wish someone would hug me. The past days have been very difficult and relatively joyless and it doesn't feel like there's anything I can do.
🎵 I feel so funny these days, I'd rather sleep than stay awake 🎵
Past UserSalix_alba_2019lovemimoon

Comments

  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Keep being you<3 Posts: 1,369 Wise Owl
    @Apollo Hey I can see that that’s a lot and a bit overwhelming but I just want you to know everyone of us are here to help you no matter what if you need any help 💛sending big hugs your way:)
    Apollo
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 7,875 Legendary Poster
    Hey @Apollo I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling lately. It can sometimes feel like your mental health changes so fast I've had a lot of experience with that.

    Panic attacks can have many different symptoms and everyone experiences them differently. Even if you didn't have some of the common symptoms it could still of been a panic attack. I have suffered from panic attacks and I find breathing exercises do help, and things like meditation too.

    Have you spoke to anyone about how you've been feeling? You said you have a great group of friends, do you think they'd be understanding. If you're struggling it's always ok to talk about that and I'm glad you've felt you can do that on the boards, we're always here! And also remember your GP is there too and it might be worth speaking to them as well.

    I really understand how tough it can be sometimes but you've done a great job of opening up here :)
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    ApolloPast User
  • ApolloApollo Teenage Dirtbag ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 802 Part of The Mix Family
    Thanks @independent_

    I have a friend I met online about 3 years ago who I usually talk to about things like these, and she's talked to me for support in the past too. We talk about other stuff too but recently I felt like I was being overbearing with everything and things felt more serious so I looked for counselling and found this place. I don't talk to any of my in person friends about these things, even though I know they'd support me, because I am awful at talking about my feelings unless I'm behind a screen.

    If I'm being honest I don't think talking about this will solve it, at least not unless it's with a professional. Even then I don't know if I'd need medicine because things have felt inescapable and it feels like there might be something actually wrong with my brain. Of course I might be totally wrong on that front but since I've never felt like this it's been pretty scary for me.

    I appreciate the support and I like your use of exclamation marks
    🎵 I feel so funny these days, I'd rather sleep than stay awake 🎵
    natalie_b
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 7,875 Legendary Poster
    No problem @Apollo! And I hadn't even thought about the exclamation marks they're just autopilot at this point haha.

    I'm glad you can talk to your online friend about things, and know that you're not being overbearing. It's ok to talk about things and for conversations to get more serious sometimes.

    I'm glad you found this place, The Mix offer counselling too so that might be something worth looking into. It can be difficult to get a space sometimes but they tend to pop up randomly so do keep checking the referral form if that's something you're interested in.

    Counselling is definitely worth a try, it's quite hard sometimes and sometimes it can make you feel a bit worse before you feel better (because you're talking about things that you'd maybe put to the back of your mind) but I found it really did help with my anxiety.

    It's ok to take medication as well if you and your GP feel it would help you, I take medication and it's definitely been helpful for me, they help a lot of people. A lot of GPs want you to try counselling etc first or alongside the medication though so it's worth having a chat with them.

    You have a lot of different options and remember you're always welcome to come here and to chat as well!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    Apollo
  • ApolloApollo Teenage Dirtbag ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 802 Part of The Mix Family
    @independent_ Thanks for the advice and your Ancient Wisdom of The Mix counselling. I looked into that earlier but noticed that there seemed to be no spots open, and I didn't know if that was long or short term so thanks for clearing that up I'll keep a look out for if a spot frees up.

    With my friend she has told me that it's okay and that she doesn't see me differently but honestly it's more of a me thing that I wanted to not be overbearing, because I know that can take a toll on people and it's not always clear when things become too much.

    When it comes to medication and counselling it's probably only scary to me because I've never done anything like it, in fact I think I've only been to the doctors once before.

    I'm glad I found this place you guys seem cool
    🎵 I feel so funny these days, I'd rather sleep than stay awake 🎵
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 7,875 Legendary Poster
    @Apollo yeah definitely keep an eye on the counselling page the spaces can become free at the most random of times.

    I understand how you feel, it's hard when you feel like you're being overbearing even when others don't see it that way. It's something I've struggled with as well and still do so I don't have much advice but know we're always here to listen and you're never being overbearing here.

    Of course it's scary the first time, I've been in counselling a couple of times through my life actually and I found it scary as well all of those when starting it, I guess it's the unknown. But it really does help. Same with medication - when you first take it you don't know how you'll react to it and how you'll feel so it's the unknown again and that is understandably scary!

    There's lots of cool people around here, I've been here a loooong time and have met my fair share of amazing people here. It's a great community!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • ApolloApollo Teenage Dirtbag ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 802 Part of The Mix Family
    I'll update this thread if things change, thanks for your help @independent_
    🎵 I feel so funny these days, I'd rather sleep than stay awake 🎵
  • ApolloApollo Teenage Dirtbag ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 802 Part of The Mix Family
    Have been really struggling to cope with everything recently and not felt able to tell anyone about it. I have a lot of irrational scary thoughts and calming methods aren't as effective as they used to be.

    But I found counselling because there was a slot open, so that's good.
    🎵 I feel so funny these days, I'd rather sleep than stay awake 🎵
    natalie_b
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 7,875 Legendary Poster
    I’m sorry you’ve been struggling lately, it sounds really hard for you and I understand the thoughts can be pretty scary sometimes.

    I’m glad you found the counselling though and hopefully it helps :)
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
    Apollo
  • ApolloApollo Teenage Dirtbag ScotlandCommunity Champion Posts: 802 Part of The Mix Family
    @independent_ thanks, its giving me some hope. I spoke to my friend about things again and as things have worsened she recommends I should go to the GP, which I also will do.

    Usually my problems in life have felt like things that I can solve myself, even if I ask others for advice. This one is different and honestly I've never felt something be this encompassing before but I know who I am whatever's going on ain't got shit on me.
    🎵 I feel so funny these days, I'd rather sleep than stay awake 🎵
    Past User
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Really glad to have you here @Apollo

    It's positive that you found a counselling spot, I hope that this works out well for you. I was quite unsure about counselling at first, it was something I had never done before and quite frankly, I couldn't think of anything worse than talking about myself BUT I'm on my 5th (i think?) week of counselling now, and it's going well. I hope it goes well for you too, it's okay to talk about your feelings.

    It's alright to not be able to deal with everything yourself and It's okay to reach out for support. I'm glad you're doing that here, with us. We all care about you.

    You're a strong person and you'll get through this, but you already know that :)

    We're always here for you, pal.
    Apolloindependent_
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