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Should I Use A Dating App

ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 242 Trailblazer
So I am a closeted gay, and especially during this pandemic, I REALLY want to meet a guy I can contact and talk with either through video or in person, but socially distanced. But that is my issue - I am afraid of setting up a profile as a gay man - or even bi man - because I am not 'out' yet.

So do I take the plunge and try and meet some guys, or do I wait it out until I can start meeting in person? 

And on the same topic, I am afraid some guys will just use me for sex or a one nighter sort of thing and that is pretty scary in itself, so idk what to do...
"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee

Comments

  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey @ThatFelixGuy !!!

    I think using a dating app is a good idea! Mainly because I know of people who have used dating apps before they have decided to "come out" to their friends and family. 

    Dating apps can be a good idea because they allow anonymity. You can kind of be private, even though your account is on the internet. I think this may be a good idea, especially if you're trying to find someone with the same intentions as your own. 

    However, you should make a decision that feels right to you. If setting up a dating profile on the internet seems too much of a big step, maybe you should wait. You could also use apps like Bumble which allow you to make friends. 

    Stay safe!
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 242 Trailblazer
    Tee A said:
    Hey @ThatFelixGuy !!!

    I think using a dating app is a good idea! Mainly because I know of people who have used dating apps before they have decided to "come out" to their friends and family. 

    Dating apps can be a good idea because they allow anonymity. You can kind of be private, even though your account is on the internet. I think this may be a good idea, especially if you're trying to find someone with the same intentions as your own. 

    However, you should make a decision that feels right to you. If setting up a dating profile on the internet seems too much of a big step, maybe you should wait. You could also use apps like Bumble which allow you to make friends. 

    Stay safe!
    Ohhh I never thought of Bumble! have you ever used it before? How do you rate it
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
  • RileyRiley Posts: 787 Super Moderator
    Yeah I agree with @Tee A if you're worried about going on a dating app then you might want to consider just reaching out to people on different social media sites and seeing what happens. I mentioned this in another thread but it's possible for love to come from anywhere, you never know when you might make a connection that turns into something more. Just something to keep in mind. :)
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 242 Trailblazer
    Riley said:
    Yeah I agree with @Tee A if you're worried about going on a dating app then you might want to consider just reaching out to people on different social media sites and seeing what happens. I mentioned this in another thread but it's possible for love to come from anywhere, you never know when you might make a connection that turns into something more. Just something to keep in mind. :)
    I believe in love at first sight in certain ways haha. I will keep this in mind, and thank you for the advice!
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Tee A said:
    Hey @ThatFelixGuy !!!

    I think using a dating app is a good idea! Mainly because I know of people who have used dating apps before they have decided to "come out" to their friends and family. 

    Dating apps can be a good idea because they allow anonymity. You can kind of be private, even though your account is on the internet. I think this may be a good idea, especially if you're trying to find someone with the same intentions as your own. 

    However, you should make a decision that feels right to you. If setting up a dating profile on the internet seems too much of a big step, maybe you should wait. You could also use apps like Bumble which allow you to make friends. 

    Stay safe!
    Ohhh I never thought of Bumble! have you ever used it before? How do you rate it
    I have yes! I think the people on there are much more polite, especially in comparison to Tinder!! 8/10 from me! :)
    ThatFelixGuy
  • ThatFelixGuyThatFelixGuy Always Look Up. Optimism > PesimismPosts: 242 Trailblazer
    Tee A said:
    Tee A said:
    Hey @ThatFelixGuy !!!

    I think using a dating app is a good idea! Mainly because I know of people who have used dating apps before they have decided to "come out" to their friends and family. 

    Dating apps can be a good idea because they allow anonymity. You can kind of be private, even though your account is on the internet. I think this may be a good idea, especially if you're trying to find someone with the same intentions as your own. 

    However, you should make a decision that feels right to you. If setting up a dating profile on the internet seems too much of a big step, maybe you should wait. You could also use apps like Bumble which allow you to make friends. 

    Stay safe!
    Ohhh I never thought of Bumble! have you ever used it before? How do you rate it
    I have yes! I think the people on there are much more polite, especially in comparison to Tinder!! 8/10 from me! :)
    I will take your word on it!!
    "Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." - Bruce Lee
    Tee A
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 487 Moderator
    Hey @ThatFelixGuy

    You've had some really great advice from our community members here! I definitely second Bumble as a possibility; I've had really good experiences and made wonderful connections (romantic & friendships) with people on there.

    @Tee A is absolutely right that dating profiles can provide you with a certain degree of anonymity, which is especially helpful if you're not wanting to come out yet. That being said, I totally understand your trepidation about meeting people and what their expectations might be. Maybe using the friendship side of the app first would allow you to ease into talking to other LGBT+ folks, gain the benefit of their experience and make some lasting friendships, 

    And on the same topic, I am afraid some guys will just use me for sex or a one nighter sort of thing and that is pretty scary in itself, so idk what to do...

    I can really hear your concern here. I think as long as you are clear about your intentions and maintain boundaries with prospective matches (e.g. you're just interested in talking/romance/friendships, not just sex or no sex at all) you'll find that most people will respect your wishes. The beauty of online dating is that you can very quickly weed out the people you don't think you share values and interests with and, if someone makes you uncomfortable, you're well within your rights to just unmatch them. 

    I hope this helps!
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