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We are writing some music with the help of a professional band! Share some small positive stories from lockdown to contribute our song over on this thread!
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The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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Comments

  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,498 Ultimate Poster
    My swear word colouring book is missing and I am deeply upset. I need to colour out my frustration but have to colour a 'pretty' picture instead now. It's not the same. 🙄
    Update : mother bought me a new swear word colouring book! 😁😂
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    Stress and anxiety is so so overwheming
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    edited March 19
    Coming up the a  yearly truama anniversary TW

    Coming up the 4th year truama anniversary of where my ex raped me, sent me for a morning after pill, and still ending up pregnant.
    I dream about all this truama and I wake up sweating and crying. The next month is going to be so horrific and difficult because we had planned to remove my implant and allow myself to have a period with support so I could get use to it again because the truama was so truamarising I wasn't able to have periods. I'm really scared and anxious about the next month. Some of you might remember everything that happened during this event as I did come to chat and the boards to talk about it for a while. 
    I'm desperate for just some hugs and support at the moment
    EMDR therapy has been put on hold


    Jade09Kathleen07
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    ^^^ kinda wish I could still see my counselor at university. She helped me a lot through this
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,498 Ultimate Poster
    N won't leave me on my own cause of how suicidal I am... So we're getting drunk. 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,498 Ultimate Poster
    edited March 20
    Wanna know what bpd is like? 2 hours ago I was suicidal and sat with a suicide method in front of me , now? I'm playing leap frog up the stairs with N 🙈😂😂


    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    Really upset and disheartened
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 8,148 Boards Champion
    Wanna know what bpd is like? 2 hours ago I was suicidal and sat with a suicide method in front of me , now? I'm playing leap frog up the stairs with N 🙈😂😂


    I so wish BPD was like this with me. I feel like I'm just constantly On the verge of killing myseld. Ive Deffo got the wrong diagnosis
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,498 Ultimate Poster
    @Shaunie honestly the thoughts were still there, but it was about finding a distraction, also alcohol haha … 

    things will get easier, you wont always feel this way.
    could you ask to get re-assessed if you think you've got the wrong diagnosis?
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
    ShaunieJade09
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 8,148 Boards Champion
    @Shaunie honestly the thoughts were still there, but it was about finding a distraction, also alcohol haha … 

    things will get easier, you wont always feel this way.
    could you ask to get re-assessed if you think you've got the wrong diagnosis?
    Ive tried to get different diagnosis they just say "some people with BPD accept the diagnosis and it makes more sense, some are indenial and Cant see it"
     when i dont get mood swings. I don't hear things or anything psycotic. I am literally just depressed. It is just a diagnosis made so you get less crisis help
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Jade09
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    Today has been hard. 
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,639 Mega Poster
    Struggling to cope with everything that’s going on :( 
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • ThePigeonsThePigeons Posts: 199 The Mix convert
    I'm losing myself even more. I'm afraid I come to a point that I don't want anymore. I still don't have my diagnoses report, I can't go into therapy when it will start, my dream is shattered. Nothing works. Only thing that helps is talking. But nobody listens to my story. I don't want to lose the story. It's the only thing that can help me be me again
    ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴅ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴋᴇʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ sᴇᴛs ʏᴏᴜ ғʀᴇᴇ
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    Finding everything so fucking hard at the moment. Trying to distract myself by clearing out my room and found the documents from when I lost the pregnancy, and it just throws me back into horrific memories of what he did to me..
    ThePigeonsJade09Kathleen07
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Carer/Craft Lover Posts: 2,639 Mega Poster

    For all of you who find Mother’s Day difficult for whatever reason , I’m only a message away 💕
    “ I believe that you have the power to achieve whatever you put your mind too, You are living a life’s most people won’t  ever understand but that’s what will Be the root of all your determination and success. You have a soul full of love and kindness and I just know that despite all the hardship, a life’s of happiness awaits you and I’m very proud of you, just keep holding on” 
    Jade09Salix_alba_2019
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 8,148 Boards Champion
    Really can't be bothered to go into work. They should close it. Its so dead and h&m and new look are closed
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 8,148 Boards Champion
    Shaunie said:
    Really can't be bothered to go into work. They should close it. Its so dead and h&m and new look are closed
    Lol as soon as i sent this i got a text message to say theyre closing after today
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Jade09
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    Questioning who my real friends even are
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 8,148 Boards Champion
    edited March 25
    My sister was choking on bacon. Scared the shit out me and started crying still feel upset.   She was bright red and couldn't breath took a while to get it out. She's okay now
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    Kathleen07
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,936 Postholic
    Sending loads of hugs <3
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    Waking up was a mistake.
    Waking up was the worse thing I've done today
    Kathleen07
  • Kasa2103Kasa2103 This Is Me! ❤👅👌🤓💃🎤 South EastPosts: 3,146 Ultimate Poster
    edited March 27
    Sitting on my own in a classroom trying not to cry right now. I feel in pain and hated. I got deliberately pushed over on to the hard floor by a girl in my year just because she hates me. Everyone hates me. The teachers don't know that I am in the classroom. They couldn't care less. The door was unlocked anyway. 

    I am safe and not badly injured. Just a sore hip from landing on it and sore hands. And very embarrassed 
    I'm sick of covering up. I'm tired of feeling so broken.  I'm tired of falling in love. Sometimes I'm shy and I'm anxious. Sometimes I'm down on my knees. So I won't wear makeup on Thursday. Cause who I am is enough. And there are many things that I could change so slightly. But why would I succumb to something so unlike me? I was always taught to just be myself. Don't change for anyone.
    Kathleen07chubbydumplingJade09
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 8,148 Boards Champion
    I always feel bad when i feel "okay". Like i dont deserve it
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
    EleanorJade09Kathleen07
  • Kasa2103Kasa2103 This Is Me! ❤👅👌🤓💃🎤 South EastPosts: 3,146 Ultimate Poster
    Currently crying happy tears right now.  My mentor sent me such a beautiful email that shows that she really does care about me.
    I'm sick of covering up. I'm tired of feeling so broken.  I'm tired of falling in love. Sometimes I'm shy and I'm anxious. Sometimes I'm down on my knees. So I won't wear makeup on Thursday. Cause who I am is enough. And there are many things that I could change so slightly. But why would I succumb to something so unlike me? I was always taught to just be myself. Don't change for anyone.
    EleanorJade09Kathleen07
  • EleanorEleanor Posts: 231 The Mix convert
    @Kasa2103 That's lovely! <3

    Kathleen07
  • EleanorEleanor Posts: 231 The Mix convert
    @Shaunie Everyone deserves to feel okay! Even if you're finding it hard to believe it yourself, at least take it from me! <3
    ShaunieJade09Kathleen07
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    Everyone is better off without me. All I do is hurt myself friends.
    I'm sorry I'm a horrible person
    EleanorJade09Kathleen07
  • EleanorEleanor Posts: 231 The Mix convert
    edited March 29
    @GreenTea I don't think you're a horrible person! You gave up some of your support time in circle to make sure I was okay, I actually would have be worse off without you! <3
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • Kasa2103Kasa2103 This Is Me! ❤👅👌🤓💃🎤 South EastPosts: 3,146 Ultimate Poster
    I'm a worthless piece of scum who doesn't deserve support or happiness no matter how many times any of you try to argue against my opinion. 
    I'm sick of covering up. I'm tired of feeling so broken.  I'm tired of falling in love. Sometimes I'm shy and I'm anxious. Sometimes I'm down on my knees. So I won't wear makeup on Thursday. Cause who I am is enough. And there are many things that I could change so slightly. But why would I succumb to something so unlike me? I was always taught to just be myself. Don't change for anyone.
    Jade09Kathleen07
  • GreenTeaGreenTea The moonPosts: 2,654 Mega Poster
    I'm better off dead. 
    Jade09Kathleen07
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