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Am i mad?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I just broke up with my long distance boyfriend, the whole distance thing was one of the reasons that i ended it. The trouble is that he is so nice and everything, not like many of the other guys ive met at all. He met all my friends for the first time the other day, they all sed he was really nice but not wot they expected!!! - didnt know whther to take that as a compliment or not. The thing is i cant work out the real reason i dumped him, cos the distance thing wasnt that much of an issue. I hav major problems with my self-esteem (i.e i have none) and i know that is the reason i think. Im so scares that i wont be able to love someone becasue of the hatred of myself and how i can ever get over it. Also i know that i have hurt my ex really really badly and i was wonderin if u can think of any ways to try and resolve things with him. He says he's not mad at me, he's just really upset. He forgives me. I told him to shout and hav a go at me but he wouldnt. I feel like such a bitch which isnt helping to the whole hating myself thing at all. Please help me.
lufc_babe
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lufc_babe
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Comments
At least he sounds like a really decent bloke, loads of guys would be angry at someone who dumped them, but you say he's not. Thats cool.
Try to sort yourself out too, self-hatred is never good. Try and like yourself again. It might take time, but it'll be worth it in the end.
A tough situation for both of u. Im going to read a bit between the lines here.... so forgive me if miss the point.
........I think u r right..... the core of the problem is your low self esteem. In fact u go further and describe it as self hatred
If i say u find it impossible to accept his love because u feel u dont deserve it.... r unworhty of it.... and hence scared of it ...does that make sense. If he realy knew me he wouldnt love me......
All babies r born with a strong sense of self worth...... and sadly all too many of us have it seriously damaged or even destroyed along the way... through childhood and adolesence. It can be bullying at school, bad teachers or parents or many other forms of abuse. U know your own life...... and the source of your feelings. U may have done things u regret or r ashamed of..... (most of us do). Try to draw a line under it..... and see it as a dark period from the past but u r now facing a brighter future.
how others view us is usually different from how we view ourselves..... U have met a guy who loves u. (How can he possible do that u say?) because he sees things in u that u dont see yourself.... nice things. Is he wrong? Consider that me may be right.
U have made the first step in dealing with your low self esteem by posting to this board....... coz u know inside that u want to deal with this.... to stop going round in circles. This guy can help u do that..... Is he the first guy who didnt re inforce your low self esteem.... and was that why your friends were suprised? (thats just a guess lol)
If u end it with this guy then u r running away from yourself... U have an opprtunity to go deep to explore why u feel the way u do. Dont let the low self esteem win. Keep in contact with him and send him an e mail....... or chat on line if u can..... thats often easier than talking about deep stuff face to face. My advice is stick with it and see where this leads.
Finally u r worthy of his love and affection........u deserve it!!!!!
and a little tip....... start saying positive things about yourself to yourself......everyday....... start with i am a nice person and i am loveable:) At first u wont believe it but after a while..... it wll sink in.
I hope this helps LUFC babe......
ps i support Leeds too lol