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Time for another ranty thread

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  • joyajoya Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    Kathleen07 said:
    I want to go back to hospital to get checked out again because I'm so anxious, I can't stand it. I feel really overwhelmed and terrified. I can't stop overthinking and being scared about everything.
    And my mom's getting all worked up because she's trying to make me go back to a normal lifestyle but I'm honestly too scared. I don't want to risk overstepping the guidelines but that's the basic idea. It's not helping me at all. What I need is to know that nothing's seriously wrong and that a normal lifestyle won't harm me, not to be pressured.
    hi my angel, there's a song that calls "everythingoes" by RM... when i am too scared i listen and i usually stay more calm.

    i hope it can calm you down a little bit ^^
    everything always goes ^^
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Whata shit day at work
      moral of today is never self harm before work  😓
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I'm so over my own body. Fucking save me
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    My mam had an appointment over an hour ago, it was 5 minutes away and she's still not home, she's seeing the same Dr that sent me to hospital so now I'm worried they've sent her without telling me 🙈
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,780 Master Poster
    I think that I might have lost the trust of my maths teacher. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • joyajoya Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    Yesterday i spoke with my therapist and was a good to talk. We spoken about my bipolar disorder thoughts and how i was so obsessed with this; she told me that she's working on my diagnostic and will wait for one more month to tell me what she thinks i have (i guess it's this what she means; she was very vague and careful whe spoke about this diagnostic thing). The problem it's that i'm gonna still anxious because receive my diagnosis it's something that i am waiting and wanting for a long time, but as the same time i'm ok with that (i am the personification of paradox).

    Could be just one more delusion of my mind, but i gues that i wasn't so wrong about my own diagnosis of the bipolar thing, because when i was trying to deny my own ideas about this doubts, she was like "haha dont deny so much, you dont know yet what it is...".

    I really dont know how to explain what i think, but i just have this feeling that's it's not gonna be a "easy" and "unproblematic" diagnostic. And i have sure that my parents (in special my mom), will deny any illness (not because they're cetic, but bc they does not understand that much about mental illness and it's afraid that can be something that makes them lose me)

    And to be truth, i'm ok. Even if is something "bad" or not, for me it's ok. I can deal with it like i always did with so many others things.

    My moods are ok, i spoke about personal things with my friends; me and my mom are good with each other, we are talking and passing more time together. I am ok for now and it's good to be ok, so i'll try to keep that way ^^
    everything always goes ^^
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,780 Master Poster
    Why does my cat seem to think that she can just wonder into the toilet with me? Yes, she is under the radiator. And no it is not switched on.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • ElizabethElizabeth Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    edited January 2020
    Been staring at the walls for to long, this isn’t going to help anything! People just think I’m lazy and maybe I am, I’m just so low and hopeless. 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    IM getting proper stressed over my cover letter for the job. I have until the 10th. Feel like nearly finished but it doesn't flow and read properly
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Fuming. My Instagram account was reported because I posted a photo of an every day activity and some sh scars were on show...not even intentional. I'm so angry and feel so ashamed of having scars. 
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I have a cold. Like seriously dude? :joy: I was only just recovering from the stomach bug. Now I've got a horrid sore throat and swallowing is really unpleasant. I was fortunate enough to not really get sick for about a year and now I think the gods are trying to make up for that.
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Kathleen07 said:
    I have a cold. Like seriously dude? :joy: I was only just recovering from the stomach bug. Now I've got a horrid sore throat and swallowing is really unpleasant. I was fortunate enough to not really get sick for about a year and now I think the gods are trying to make up for that.


    I'd kill for just a cold lol totally feel your pain tho. I'm currently home with a course of anti biotics for mild pneumonia 😬 sickness is the worst!
  • joyajoya Posts: 220 Trailblazer
    i shaved all my hair dude :#
    everything always goes ^^
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    edited February 2020
    Present thoughts have been challenging 
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,780 Master Poster
    Still not gotten to sleep. To be honest, I am not even at home. Been at A&E since 6:30pm.
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I feel worse now. I hate nausea.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Just had another nap still feel so so tired
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • tkdogtkdog Posts: 281 The Mix Regular
    Very tired and drained. I met someone i hadnt seen for a longtime though only for an hour so sad and my dad was angry about it. Also the person i like has been very mean again so that sucks.
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Serial complainers drain the life out of me, it's exhausting just listening. I'm sure that even if everything was perfect they'd still find something to complain about. There's no harm in appreciating the small things 🤦‍♀️
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Tired of being ignored and then when I say I feel hated and unwanted..I'm told I'm not... But I'm literally ignored.. like 

    It's such a fucking shitty feeling
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    WHY IS NOBODY FUCKING LISTENING TO ME. WHY DOES NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTAND. 
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    got yet another cold so thats fun
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited February 2020
    Cant sleep. I think its cause i had a red bull today. But it was in the morning idk Normally I'm dead to the world at this time
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Really struggling to breath this morning
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    edited February 2020
    This girl literally slightly hurt herself and called it a suicide attempt, am I wrong to be angry? Like I know all self harm is serious and all that but seriously? A suicide attempt? Probably going to get hate for saying this but I am fuming.

    [edited by moderator to remove self-harm method]
    Post edited by JustV on
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited February 2020
    BubblesGoesBoo said:
    This girl literally slightly hurt herself and called it a suicide attempt, am I wrong to be angry? Like I know all self harm is serious and all that but seriously? A suicide attempt? Probably going to get hate for saying this but I am fuming. 
    Tbh that is annoying. Sounds more like a cry for help more than suicide attempt. I know what you mean. A lot of people do things that literally has no moratity rate and clearly cant kill and says they attempted suicide. I know i thought i attempted once when i was very young but i didnt know cause i was really young but didnt call it anything just tried it and thought would die but now looking back obviously unlikely  but some people clearly know and still call it suicide attempt which its fine, theyre clearly struggling in some way. But just clearly wasnt a suicide attempt as all know its not gunna kill y
    Post edited by JustV on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    edited February 2020
    Looolll. Ive been getting less dreams about the abuse. And feel like that makes me forgot about my other dreams when i wake up. Cause i normally remember like 5 even if not abuse related. But guess im not waking up thinking "i need to try to remember what i just dreamt" the first time i wake up. Apperently we all have about 7 dreams a night just dont always remember. Except today i remembered a dream i had. And was everytime i needed a poo i would float. Like some weird shit. All of my dreams that wasnt about the abuse contains floating in the air and i don’t know what it means. I googled it and floating in your dreams are mostly posivtive. But theyre talking about feeling incontrl and floating. I def dont feel in control in my dreams
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,493 Skive's The Limit
    Ive spent like 2 hours cleaning. My shoes and the bathroom. With blench and now i feel proper sick and i don’t know if its cause ive been like smelling strong blech this whole time or what
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,612 Legendary Poster
    Got absolutely blackout drunk on Saturday night, I told myself I’d never do that again, it’s so embarrassing :( 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,874 Extreme Poster
    Been so poorly all week I feel terrible I’ve had a fever since Monday I’m sweating buckets so even when I shower I feel gross again quickly. My cough is horrible and hurts my chest and back. Bringing up disgusting phlegm. It’s not even getting better. I’m fed up and bored and lonely and can’t go out because I’m weak and tired and don’t wanna make it worse or infect anyone 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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