Cycles of feeling down.... and any final year/grad students around?
Ravenclaw
Posts: 74 Budding Regular
Does anyone else seem to get a yearly occurrence of feeling down, depressed/anxious? It doesn't always happen at the same time of year for me (I did consider SAD because often it's winter, but not always), but it feels like an endless cycle. I feel down, go to counselling until the sessions run out, feel better for a few months, and then it starts again - rinse and repeat. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of the same old thought spirals and conversations with myself, and asking for counselling again would seem ridiculous (it would mean I'd been to counselling every single year of university). I feel like I'm just being melodramatic and really don't know where to turn any more, who to tell, how to help myself. It's not being helped by some ongoing physical health mysteries but that's a whole other story.
I kind of wish I could just sort out whatever underlying mental health/trauma issues I have once and for all, but the usual 7-week sessions don't usually allow for that. I'm not even sure what I'd talk about if I tried to go to counselling again. I really don't want to have to ask to be referred again anyway. It's not as bad as it could be, and I'd be taking up time that other students would benefit from more. Plus the issues I'm referring to are family-related things which I don't see how I could "solve" through therapy... do I just wait this cycle out? Try to tackle it myself? Accept these cycles are a part of my life?
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If there's any final-year university students or recent graduates around anywhere, would also appreciate knowing that others have also hit this issue at this stage of university/careers and that I'm not alone. I feel "too old" to be using these boards (I know I'm within the age range but it's more that I associate these feelings with my teens), to be having these same issues over and over again. Why can I not learn to manage my own feelings by now? It's been a good 8 years of on-off depression and anxiety but nothing ever feels permanently fixed...
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PS. I used to frequent these boards around 3 years ago (with a brief return a year ago during another one of these cycles triggered by illness)... so much has changed since then, but all the same, hello again all, and thank you for being such a nice community to return to. 
Comments
Truthly speaking it can be normal to have certain times where you have more cycles of depressive episodes.
It would also be worse or this is your final year.
Whilst I'm not in University I am at my final college year which is adding the stress because I need to figure out what I'm doing, access course? Work? And if I move away it will be nerve wracking. What do I do?
There's loads that could be on your mind so it's normal to feel stressed.
As far as next steps it can be really awkward because you need to figure out what you may want to do.
Try counselling again? It's important to not think you're taking it from others, you are worthy of support.
You could also try talking to a doctor to see what else you could get?
I mainly wanted to offer support as I can't help very much
Very well done for reaching out x
🌈Positive thoughts🌈
"This is my family. I found it, all on my own.It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch
"Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot
"I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
After sleeping only 3 hours the night before last because I woke up with my heart racing and unable to get back to sleep, I signed up to my university counselling again - I might cancel it later, and it'd be at least a month until I even get an appointment, but it can be a back up.
I hope your similar decisions with what to do after college are going okay
First of all I just wanted to say well done for signing up to your University Counseling even though you say you might cancel it , it was still a big step to sign up to it so well done
I find trying to get into a good routine before you settle Into bed can help settle some of the thoughts. Also something I was taught at CAMHS was to write down 3 positives from the day this can help try and get the mind into a positive mindset which can help with sleep .
It may also be worth visiting your GP as sometimes they can prescribe things to help try and reduce the physical anxiety symptoms and potentially something to help you sleep short term.
Like @laine said it’s okay to have cycles when you feel more down than others I know I particularly do and especially round this time of year it can be hard as around this time everyone starts reflecting on how the year has gone and for those who struggle it can be hard.
know where all here for you on the boards
Aimee
It is great to see you back on the Boards.
I'm sorry to hear that you feel you have cycles of feeling down and that counselling has only helped for a while. It's a shame you don't feel confident about talking to friends or family but I think it is really positive that you are reached out to the board members.
There are some really insightful responses here and some great advice on self care from @Millie2787 and @Laine.
By the way, have you explored using any medication before? If so, did it help?
Take care of yourself.
Chris
PS By the way, I notice you say you think you are too old to use The Mix boards. You are more that welcome - you're not too old!