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Forehead kisses with the guy you're casually dating

ellezeeellezee Posts: 11 Settling in
I've been in a casual relationship with a guy (Jay in this case)for the past three or so weeks. We've been mutual friends beforehand for a couple of years and only recently got together at a mutual friend's party. We haven't had sex yet but I'm pretty sure it's going to happen this Friday, since the last time we were 'fooling around' we nearly did it. 

Our friendship hasn't changed in the way that we never really spoke at school before we got together and after we did neither of us felt the need to make an effort to speak to each other more. It's all really casual. Some of my close friends including my best friend are concerned with this as Jay gives off a player vibe. They are afraid that he is going to 'beat and delete' me. I am very aware of this however I'm not as affected because although I have a small crush on him I'm aware of what he could do and therefore more prepared. I've thought about and still want to go through with it. 

We often walk home together from school (we're both upper sixth students (UK) or seniors (US)) as his place is just a little further from mine. When he drops me off he usually says goodbye with a peck or a proper kiss or sometimes he tease me by coming close but not actually kissing me. Today when we got to my house he pulled me close and I thought he was teasing me and pulled away but he pulled me in and kissed me on the forehead. I am so baffled because I don't know what this mean. Some of our mutual friends think he does have feelings for me but others don't. 

Can someone explain this to me because I am so confused. 

Comments

  • PoppyBPoppyB Posts: 219 Moderator
    Hey @ellezee

    I've just moved your post over to the Sex and Relationships section so hopefully you can get some more targeted advice from users :) 

    Regarding the forehead kisses, I can hear from your post how confused you are feeling -  have you spoken to Jay about this yet? This can be a nerve-wracking thing to do but it may help you understand the situation better and help put your mind at rest. 
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 103 Moderator
    Hi elleze,

    Thanks for posting, it seems like you are confused about Jay's feelings towards you regarding him suddenly kissing you on the forehead. I can understand your confusion as forehead kisses can sometimes feel very intimate, has his behaviour changed in any other ways since he has kissed you on the forehead?

    Have you considered talking to Jay about it? Though I agree with PoppyB that this may be very nerve-wracking, this may also give you the opportunity to explore your own feelings about the situation and be certain you are both on the same page going forwards. 
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,131 Skive's The Limit
    Sometimes people behave awkwardly around others when they have feelings. I certainly behaved awkwardly around girls I liked when I was younger. 
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • ValerialettoValerialetto Posts: 87 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hello @ellezee,

    I guess nobody can explain you what's going on cause we are all different, so one can think of feelings, other of teasing etc.) and there is no problem in that. If  you are confused you can always ask him directly if it's important for you. Or you can be a bit tricky ;) for example when he kisses you next time you can tease him, do not let him kiss you and tell something like " my kisses are for my date only, not for friends" and see how he reacts  ;) Cause unfortunately men are usually not so talkative creatures so if you treat him oficially with all you seriousness he can be scared  =)

    But anyway you should clear it out if you feel confused or have doubts about it :)
    Keep us updated hope evrything will be fine :3
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 103 Moderator
    Hi @ellezee
    You haven't posted in a while on this, just want to check everything is ok and how things are going with the guy you are seeing?
    ellezee
  • ellezeeellezee Posts: 11 Settling in
    Hi Gemma, 
    Sorry yes, things were going okay with him, we lasted about two months before I broke up with him as he 'cheated' (though not really cause it was a casual relationship) on me. I decided that I couldn't handle him making out with other girls so I ended it. He then moved on pretty quickly and started dating his 'best mate' who helped me and advised me the whole time I was with him. It really hurt when I found out for two reasons. One, neither of them told me, it had been a whole month and I found out from a girl who doesn't even go to our school and two, the entire two and a half months we were together he banged on about not wanting to be in a relationship because he didn't like feeling tied down. I'm healing at the moment due to the fact that even though we weren't exclusive I had very strong feelings for him. I didn't handle it very well and am now dealing with the consequences. That's a whole other story. I'll post another discussion soon. 
    Elizabeth
  • GemmaGemma Posts: 103 Moderator
    Hi @ellezee
    I'm sorry to hear that he cheated on you, even if you're just dating casually it's normal that would still be painful. But it was really brave of you to end things with him afterwards when you realised him kissing other people would upset you. It's important to know what you want and not compromise on how something makes you feel. 

    That's awful to hear from someone else that he's dating again so quickly and someone you knew and confided in. It's understandable that would really hurt you. It doesn't matter how exclusive you were, doesn't make your feelings for him any less intense or real for you. I'm glad to hear that you are recovering though and handling it better now. 

    I hope you do, we are all here for you always with anything. 
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