Home Health & Wellbeing
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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Policed knocked on the door scared the shit out of me. They mostly only knock because someone broke my confidantly so i was just thinking shittt shout told the police. Like my heart was beating so fast. But no they asked if we have seen anything suspious because next door has bee burgaled twice this week. Wow thats shocking. Never been warned to keep our doors locked esp back door. But next door has been a drug dealer house. But the people moved. So people may still think its the massive drug deal.  not saying thats the reason but my head is saying that probs cause dont wanna get burgaled. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Everyone I talk to about what's been going on they say it sounds like PoTS. It's really scaring me, but nobody can really tell me what's going on, that's my doctor's job
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Shaunie said:
    I won't be on here for a few days x

    I'm safe but I don't want to be.
    Hugs kathleen. <3 We will always be here x
    Thank you Shaunie <3

    I'm back already lol. I genuinely thought of staying away for longer though because I'm a bother and no one wants to see me (that's not directed at here by the way, just a general feeling that I shouldn't be in this world). I feel like no one cares. I honestly can't bear the thought that I've hurt people or annoyed them and I don't think anyone's ever going to want me, I feel no identity or purpose. I'm just an accident and I feel like I should leave.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Spend most of my weekends home alone or at work. Which i dont mind being home alone. Away from so much food and my family. But right now im just havin massive urges to binge eat whatever is in the cupboards and then purge. I feel like i will 😭😭😭😭😭restricting for too long. Knew would happen but i just want self control
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Things are hard. Really hard and I don't feel I can talk about them and it scares me. I feel like my physical health isn't great and my mental health is horrific too. 
    I just want to say I'm ok and actually mean it
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Binged and purged. That was actually awful. Why the fuck did i do that 😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Singing alone at home is lonely but also fun
    (parents away in Blackpool this weekend) 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I think I'll have yet another night of sadness and crying and thinking of all the ways to die. I'm already gone. I just want to end it all, I really do. (safe unfortunately).
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm an awful person. I'm sorry. Please euthanise me. 
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Not maintaining weight, getting so stressed out with myself but feel pleased at that same time. 
    Its so exhausted for me to be around me with all these negative thoughts of body image and myself in general
  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,026 Boards Guru
    I think I'll have yet another night of sadness and crying and thinking of all the ways to die. I'm already gone. I just want to end it all, I really do. (safe unfortunately).
    Sending you lots of hugs @Kathleen07. Just wanted to let you know that you're never alone, we're all here if you want to chat a bit more about how you're feeling. Keep fighting and holding onto that little bit of hope, things can get better <3

    If you'd like a bit more support, these services are always open too:
    • Crisis Messenger are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text 'THEMIX' to 85258 and talk to them about anything. 
    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123. They also have some online services here. 
    • Papyrus have a helpline that is open 9am – 10pm weekdays and 2pm – 10pm on weekends. You can call them on  0800 068 4141.
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    edited October 2019
    @Aife said:
    I think I'll have yet another night of sadness and crying and thinking of all the ways to die. I'm already gone. I just want to end it all, I really do. (safe unfortunately).
    Sending you lots of hugs @Kathleen07. Just wanted to let you know that you're never alone, we're all here if you want to chat a bit more about how you're feeling. Keep fighting and holding onto that little bit of hope, things can get better <3

    If you'd like a bit more support, these services are always open too:
    • Crisis Messenger are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text 'THEMIX' to 85258 and talk to them about anything. 
    • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123. They also have some online services here. 
    • Papyrus have a helpline that is open 9am – 10pm weekdays and 2pm – 10pm on weekends. You can call them on  0800 068 4141.
    Sorry, deleted my original comment. Thank you Aife <3
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I feel so fucking low.
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    The guy I'm seeing has been arrested again 🙁🙁 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Please help. I can't cope :'( I seriously just want to throw this all away. There's no point in me being here. There's just no place for me on this earth. I really don't know why someone hasn't come to euthanise me yet.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I really don't know why someone hasn't come to euthanise me yet.
    Probably just because they're worried of going to jail. It shouldn't be a crime though because I'm the criminal. I should be killed because I'm an accident. How's it fair that my dog was suffering to the point he was put to sleep almost two years ago and yet things like me are allowed to stay.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I don't know if there's a way forward. I probably won't enjoy life. This world is stupid. Please accept my fate. (I'm safe). 
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm so scared of what will happen to my family when I die but I don't think I can stay here. There's no hope so it's too painful to live a shit life and all alone. I really can't stay forever. (that's not a plan and I'm still physically safe). I don't want anyone's help I just want to end it. No one even hears me but I'm really not ready to move on with life and if I could I'd die before my 15th.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭i cant take it
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I really want to feel better or just be allowed to kill myself. I feel awful. I honestly don't want to turn 15 in December, there's nothing to look forward to in the future and I don't want to be in this empty yet torturous existence anymore.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm some kind of criminal. A dreadful accident who's gonna be punished.
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Stupid little c*nt. Worthless, unlovable, empty, purposeless. You don't belong in this world, you never have. No one wants you here and everything they've said about you, from a bitch to stupid, is true. It doesn't matter if you mean well, you're bad and everyone's better off without you. No one notices or likes you, you're on your own, no hole would be left if you died. (Directed at myself).
  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm really sorry for spamming, I'll try to stop.

    I really want to kill myself. I feel like life just isn't meant for me, it's hopeless and my birth was a mistake. It probably sounds weird but I just want someone to put me to sleep - just slip away and be no more. Nobody wants me, I'm a worthless and bad person, life doesn't have enjoyment or a point, everything's too much bother, there's no hope for the future. I feel so sad and doomed. I just want to die, it's easier and I won't bother everyone anymore. I've got yet another doctors appointment soon (my mom keeps making them and  I keep not going), but I'm gonna cancel again because I really don't think I deserve help, there is no help and I don't want to do this anymore. I seriously want to kill myself before I turn 15, that's not a plan before it gets read as such and I'm safe, but feeling like this and not even being able to act on it makes me feel so trapped and in hell. Everything feeds into this hell in my mind and nothing really relieves it. I don't want to stay here. I feel like no one cares but please take me seriously because I'm really struggling. I'm just a waste of space and I want to leave.
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Seeing my psychiatrist today and dreading it 😓😓 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Why does no one want to talk to me today, honestly don't know what I've done to them. 😔😔
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Forgot it was story telling week so everywhere Is so busy with events. Gah


    Hugs to those who need them
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
This discussion has been closed.