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Am i racist

SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
I was raped by someone and everytime i see someone who i feel look similar and of same ethnicy i was triggered today. i feel really triggered and do my best to aviod them. I feel soo bad cause i know not everyones of same race are the same. And just wondering if im racist 

thanks
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Am i racist 11 votes

Yeah
18% 2 votes
No
81% 9 votes

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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    You're not racist at all. It's okay to be triggered by something that reminds you of bad things. It's not to do with the actual ethnicity - it's like if you were raped by someone with blue hair, people with blue hair could trigger you - and the fact that you feel so bad about it proves that you're not racist <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you!

    and lol sorry i was actually the person who voted yeah. But i put that when i was hating myself. Dont actually think im a racist now :). But my view changes a lot. Dunno hate myself so think am worse people all the time. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Ah yeah i think i agree now. Thank yous for reassurance! Keep needin to remember this when hate myself. Also cause we dont call people sexist for when theyre uncomfortable/triggered round males/females after abuse 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ValerialettoValerialetto Posts: 87 Budding Regular

    hello @Shaunie,

     

    You are definitely not. You have just your own personal reasons due to your experience, emotions and associations that are still very clear in your mind and probably just a few time passed for you to be like a blank piece of paper. I think it's absolutely normal what you feel unless you are rude and aggressive to this person (anyway he has nothing to do with you past experience and so he doesn't deserve bad things from you), but if you avoid him just cause your memory hurts it's absolutely normal and not about racism at all.

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    HannahHannah Posts: 30 Boards Initiate
    Hey @Shaunie, no I dont believe youre racist at all, i think you have feelings of trauma and these are triggered a lot more when you see reminders to what happened, take care <3 
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