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Is attraction important in relationships?

Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Posts: 1,031 Wise Owl
A friend came to me asked me for some advice, she confessed to me that she loved her boyfriend dearly but she just wasn't attracted to him. She told me that she felt bad and confessed to her boyfriend and out these feelings in order to find a way round. She didn't want to give up on the relationship just because of the lack of attraction but it did leave me wondering...

How important is attraction in relationships and what are your thoughts on the matter? 


  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m dead England 🏠Posts: 11,271 An Original Mixlorian
    edited August 2019
    Yeah. I think it is important. You mean physically attractive? Otherwise it could just feel like you’re friends. I think Attraction does grow a bit as you get to know people. Like a good personality could make them good looking. Like same with bad personality just makes them actually look physically unattractive.
    But then yeah I get sometimes just don't find physically attractive then I think that's quite an important thing. Like they don't have to be like the best looking person you've ever seen but I think you need some physical attraction there otherwise that could make sexual thing and affection harder. Like we all have different views on who we see as attractive & unattractive and I'd just kinda find it hard imagine being affectionate and all that if I personally found them unattractive. 
    While I think people probably make the relationships work. And that I think, someone's personality is way more of a factor than looks I still think I wouldn't have a relationship if they wasn't attractive and harder to have attraction/ that connection that would feel more like a friend.
    And it's a lot about how much how the actual person sees it as a problem 
    𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐒𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. 💕💕
  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 5,219 Part of The Furniture
    I think it is quite important yes, but as Shaunie said it can definitely grow over time if the person has a good personality and you have a good relationship. 

    Without good attraction and chemistry, intimacy is more difficult and (to me at least) that’s an important part of a relationship too. 

    I definitely go for personality over looks but having an attraction there is important in the long-term. 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 827 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey :)

    Yep, it's important! But it depends on what kind of attraction. Typically, the start of a relationship will be based on physical attraction, and move to emotional attraction over time. But being attracted to your partner in some way is important, I'd think :)

    Much love <3
  • mags98mags98 Posts: 287 Moderator

    As mentioned above it depends on the type of attraction. But I think both types are important, emotional attraction is usually the root of the relationship. I find the physical attraction helps people stay together because they don't feel like somethings missing and don't stray from their relationship. 
  • AidanAidan Clever idiot Posts: 2,640 Boards Champion
    I think attraction is important in the short run, and personality is important in the long run.

    Attraction gets your attention but a compatible personality keeps it. 

    Before you know someone, all you have to go off of to judge them is their appearance, and vice versa. I think an exception could be a relationship with someone you've already had a friendship with for long enough to get to know them.
    "Do, or do not, there is no try" <(•.•)>              
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