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[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

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Comments

  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    My body hurts. My clothes are becoming too loose. I'm exhausted physically and mentally. Just listening to my brain, wanting to restrict daily, sleep constantly and hate on myself
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Why does eveyone try to make me feel so guilty and like I'm thoughtless and don't care how i makes others feel. I do care ffs. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019

    I feel so bad that I feel proud of myself for ED behaviours. It's like I don't even want to recover - when I do. It's just a cycle of bad thoughts making me think anorexia is the good part to make my life better & then I realise it's not cause I won't be more clean or less dirty or more liked or happier if I was lower in weight. It's an irrational thought cause I know that doesn't happen cause only makes me obsessed with food and feel weak. But then I'm like but what if this time it's different and I'll Be like totally happy. Then my logical part is like um yeah if by that you mean dead considering can't be alive with how carry on to feel happy. Then I'm like wow that's over egerate, cant die from it. So Then I'm like oh maybe I'll make a meal plan for everyday to make sure I eat everything correctly to not go that way into bad obsessions that take over life . Then I'm like oh that's great to be healthy and clean. Then I'm like oh that's bad with too much food.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Need to stop going out of my way to trigger my eating disorder. Not healthy way to "cope" and not even helping :(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited August 2019
    🙃
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    GreenTea said:
    I'm so... Why brain why. 
    Not gone food shopping in 2 weeks because I'm fat and don't need it 🙃 
    Why am I falling back into this 😭
    Sending hugs @GreenTea have you maybe thought about going food shopping for the next few days ahead instead of doing a full well as I understand that can be quiet daunting to do that - I know I find it hard to . Do you think maybe making a meal plan would help with this aswell ? Might be worth speaking to your GP aswell x
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    GreenTea said:
    I'm so... Why brain why. 
    Not gone food shopping in 2 weeks because I'm fat and don't need it 🙃 
    Why am I falling back into this 😭
    Sending hugs @GreenTea have you maybe thought about going food shopping for the next few days ahead instead of doing a full well as I understand that can be quiet daunting to do that - I know I find it hard to . Do you think maybe making a meal plan would help with this aswell ? Might be worth speaking to your GP aswell x

    You commented just as i moved it haha. Didn't feel like I'd get support on this thread for it but thank you. I really don't think I can master doing a food shop at the moment. I just, the thought of it scares me
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Just want to give up and disappear.
    My struggles never matter. My mental health never matters. I'm invalid and shouldn't be around
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Hugs to whoever needs them and a cute cat too 
    😘😘❤️❤️🤗🤗🙀🙀

    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Sat on the kitchen floor in tears staring at where roxi sofa used to be 😭
    Bless you @Millie2787, I almost cried too when I read this. My heart aches for you ❤️ take it easy and allow yourself to feel all the feel the emotions❤️

    (I thought I pressed send on this post sorry! ) 
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    I’m so fed up, going on holiday should be enjoyable but I’m just counting down the minutes until I’m home. It’s just filled with stress and can tell I’m not comfortable here cause second night with hardly any sleep at all, worse than last night and it’s usually better second night it. Cba anymore 😫
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Having so many issues with my wrist today. It's been months since falling and injuring. I'm getting frustrated.🙃 when will my wrist be ok 😭
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster

    GreenTea said:
    Having so many issues with my wrist today. It's been months since falling and injuring. I'm getting frustrated.🙃 when will my wrist be ok 😭

    Those are the worst kind of injuries, I swear 😥 especially because we're constantly using our hands 😩
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,739 Master Poster
    Why does palm oil have to be still used despite all the consequences to not just our health but also the environment 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix

    GreenTea said:
    Having so many issues with my wrist today. It's been months since falling and injuring. I'm getting frustrated.🙃 when will my wrist be ok 😭

    Those are the worst kind of injuries, I swear 😥 especially because we're constantly using our hands 😩


    Literally. It happened months ago and I had to re learn to write and use my hand and wrist basically. Like I'm grateful I can do that again but I'm still having so many issues :(
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019

    I'm sad

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited August 2019
    So I'm not ok?
    I went for a walk because I wanted a new candle, thought I'd take the canal because it's normally peaceful, but no.. I get screamed at with "move out the way fat cunt" so me being me, threw myself out the way, the guy was drunk riding a moped and their were other people that obviously had walked down, all drunk and laughing about something. I get off the canal, find police and an ambulance sat in a car park dealing with an issue, 
    I speak to the police because obviously drunk person on a moped on a thin path next to water is dangerous...
    Turns out these people hurt someone and were running off 🙃🙃 

    What a bloody nightmare.
    Being called a fat cunt will probably run through my brain regularly (thanks for that)

    Mods: if anything needs removing please do. Sorry this just happened and I'm really confused and anxious now 
  • DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,739 Master Poster
    The eating disorder voice in my head keeps on being really loud. 

    It tells me that I am fat, disgusting, ugly, worthless and that I need to purge.

    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    Can't stop moving my feet, my hips are twiching every now and then,

    This gonns be one long night, 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hi. I know a few people use Beat website. Could anyone send me their link to their forum/boards message. I don't find their group chats helpful at all and their 121 messages don't work for me. So been looking for their boards and I can't find it. 
    I mean it did used to exist because I used it a lot a few years ago
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,143 Part of The Furniture
    I’m only waiting on one exam result tommrow so why the bloody hell am I more anxious than I was getting all 12 last year 😂
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Shaunie said:
    Hi. I know a few people use Beat website. Could anyone send me their link to their forum/boards message. I don't find their group chats helpful at all and their 121 messages don't work for me. So been looking for their boards and I can't find it. 
    I mean it did used to exist because I used it a lot a few years ago
    Nevermind. I think it must just not exist anymore :(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    edited August 2019
    The boards aren't really a thing anymore. They haven't been active for months and aren't advertised anymore like it use to be
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    GreenTea said:
    The boards aren't really a thing anymore. They haven't been used in roughly 5-6 months 
    Oh thank you. Do you know why?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Shaunie said:
    GreenTea said:
    The boards aren't really a thing anymore. They haven't been used in roughly 5-6 months 
    Oh thank you. Do you know why?
     I don't know, probably want to focus more on the chats and 1-2-1 support. 
    I just looked and they don't advertise the boards at all on their site anymore
This discussion has been closed.