Home› Health & Wellbeing
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

[OLD] The 'I need a hug' thread - please read first post before posting :)

1…5960626465…333

Comments

  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    Just did eating disorder behaviours & tempted to carry on. (I don’t know if it's allowed to say so I just won't. But it was not binging or purging any method. But kinda different - but nothing dangerous at all). But takes a lot of effort.
    Fml.  I knew if I brought weighing scales I'd get bad thoughts of not wanting to gain weight just so I can see the numbers go down but I brought them anyways. I'm tempted to throw them away but they costed me £15 lol and not like I have money to throw away. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I just want to run and hide.
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    My breathing is worse when I'm sat at home. ... overthinking Sooo I think its stress :/
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I feel very discussed and sad and heart broken, the truth about my ex is he's a complete ass,

    I can't explain why on here as its only suitable for over 16s to here but it's to do with sex how he shared certain sexual things about me with other people

    **please edit mods if its need changing **
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • Options
    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I feel nauseous :unamused:

    I also feel awful this evening. I always do but there's just no comfort. The best I can really do is aimlessly watch youtube videos or something. I want to do something productive but I feel like I don't have the hope.

    I want to kill myself. Life's a chore, I wake up and I'm honestly like, "ugh, this consciousness thing again". I'm safe and all that but it's how I feel, being physically safe doesn't make any difference to that. I feel terrible, I see no point in life and I don't know what to do. It feels like I'm going to die if I don't have more hope in the next few months (again, not implying plans). I feel like crying. I could go on forever but I guess I won't. I'm just struggling so much and distressed. I'm so sad. I want someone to take it away.

  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Soo many hugs @Kathryn
    I relate to that and it's so awful and I hear you <3 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    Secretly hoping my family recongise half of my food has been hidden. I don't want to start obsessing more again

    [edited by moderator]
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    edited August 2019
    Shaunie said:
    Secretly hoping my family recongise half of my food is going in my sleeves soon. I don't want to start obsessing more again
    I won't be able to breath properly if I eat it cause I still think it's possible to have fat going to lungs heart or chest somewhere that has came on after my chest x ray or just something that was too early for them to detect on chest x ray 
    just making that clear cause I'm not doing that to lose weight. 
    Since that wouldn't even make me lose weight my family give me massive dinners dinners that are actually massive cause I've compared them to ready meals and twice as big so actually just normal size. Just meant I don't want to obsess if starting losing weight since eatin less cause will trigger my thoughts. I just want to breath properly 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
     OMg my Dad just asked me "can I use you as an excuse to go on compassionate leave from work"

    omg what..... then he goes on about saying he knows I can be home alone but then started saying how it would be bad to use me like that. Um yeah don't fucking lie like that. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Might not really be on here for a couple of days because I'll just end up posting about how sad I am. I don't wanna do that.

    I just need it to go away. I'm feeling so low and awful. I feel like I'd kill myself tonight if I could (but I can't so not gonna happen).
  • Options
    Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @Kathryn Just wanted to say we are here to support you as much as you are here to support others, it's okay to be sad here ❤️ I hope you feel better soon, stay safe xxx
  • Options
    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    @Mia_moo said:
    @Kathryn Just wanted to say we are here to support you as much as you are here to support others, it's okay to be sad here ❤️ I hope you feel better soon, stay safe xxx
    You're really comforting and sweet :heart: I'm just feeling so crap. I don't think the boards and guidelines can really handle how bad I feel tbh haha. I feel so alone too, I mean I don't think people want to hear me moan. Or they'll just think I'm useless (they already do though).

    I think tomorrow I'll wish I died in my sleep. Hopefully I'll instead be a bit better, but it's a never-ending fight/attack so I probably won't.

    I'm sick of feeling so horrible and it's like nothing's giving me any relief. I feel like I have so much anguish in my body so I don't know why I'm not bawling by now, my eyes keep tearing up though :/ Sorry for the ranting.
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Omgg someone's help 
    I'm feeling really sick and like I'm going to pass out. My hands feel shakey
    Is it from eating less of did the food go to my heart and now it's making me ill. I don’t know which one otherwise I'd eat something but can't cause hard to breath after (not cause I'm restricting food)

    idk how suppose to make it to work. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Do I go to work (thats even if I make it there) or go I go to walk in centre (if i make it there without passing out) saying I cant breath properly and feeling v sick and like I'm gunna pass out and that food has clogged up into my chest
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    DancerDancer Community Champion Posts: 7,795 Master Poster
    Shaunie said:
    Do I go to work (thats even if I make it there) or go I go to walk in centre (if i make it there without passing out) saying I cant breath properly and feeling v sick and like I'm gunna pass out and that food has clogged up into my chest
    Walk in. You need help. I hope you get well soon. 
    "There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
    "The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
    "I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Thanks but seems like none are the option right now cause I can barely move now🤢🤒😓😓😓
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Options
    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Shaunie said:
    Thanks but seems like none are the option right now cause I can barely move now🤢🤒😓😓😓

    Ring 111
  • Options
    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Decided to go for a walk and ended up spending so much on shit I didn't need. Now I'm not sure if I can afford cat cafe in Birmingham next week. Oops
  • Options
    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Sending big hugs across the thread :heart:
  • Options
    GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Millie2787 said:
    I’m cancelling my GP appointment for Thursday I can’t do it I can’t tell anyone else how disgusting I am



    Hugs
  • Options
    davcr0ckdavcr0ck Posts: 774 Part of The Mix Family
    I'm literally not functioning 
    Love is love and everyone is accepting and can share their issues with no judge from me and I try to help 
  • Options
    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Why was I born? My mom says she held me and was like "what a gift". She probably regrets saying that. The world just ended up with a nobody. In such a meaningless and unenjoyable existence. It's not like I can even kill myself because I'd honestly set off suicide dominoes, so I just shouldn't have been born.

    I wrote this lyric the other night:
    "A cold dark hole with no light to find"

    Yeah that just about sums up what it's like for me. I'm stuck in this depressive state, feelings of sadness, of no enjoyment, of worthlessness, of pointlessness, and so on and so on. And there seems to be no comfort or hope or reason to live.

    They say you only kill yourself because you're desperate for the pain to end. I do really want the pain to end. But I also honestly want to end my life. If you saw life as so beautyless and hopeless, you'd see it as a bad deal, stupid, you feel you belong in death.

    I'm sorry for going on so much. I'll try to stop now and maybe see if I can gather the courage to contact Samaritans or write in a diary or something. I'm just tired.
  • Options
    SienaSiena Posts: 15,500 Skive's The Limit
    Feeling so sick & weak again this morning 🤢🤢🤢& hard to breath. My life just keeps getting more shit
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
This discussion has been closed.