Home Health & Wellbeing

Struggling more than ever 😭(safe, just ranting 💗)

Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
edited June 2019 in Health & Wellbeing
I’ve been waiting for this to happen, all the thoughts have come flooding back and each time this happens I get knocked down more and more. 

All I want is to feel happiness 😭I’m trying so so hard and no ones helping, it’s not anyone’s fault they try there best and MH services aren’t funded enough but it feels impossible right now.

Memories are coming back really strong and emotions that I haven’t felt are overwhelming me 😔my self harm and eating urges are terrible and just struggling to find a way out of this. It’s come on so quick, I’ve been so anxious for the past few days and now my moods just hit me. 

Thinking of going to GP again and asking for meds cause I’m not coping and the things that they have recommended aren’t working at the moment.

sorry for ranting I just needed to let it all out 💗 I am safe though 
AbigailAifeSiobhan

Comments

  • AbigailAbigail Carer/musician Posts: 704 Incredible Poster
    edited June 2019
    Hey Butterfly, 

    Sorry to read you've been knocked down again. Well done for coming on here to rant and let out some emotion. How are the thoughts at the moment? 

    Sometimes we give are best and try are hardest to fight the thought and urges but sometime they cant shift so we have to feel them and not give them the power to take over. Have you spoken to the mental health service yet? Sadly a lot of teams have to cover a wide range but they are very short staffed and very underfunded. The memories of your past will always be there, but don't give them the power to bring you down your strong than them memories and thought. You have a a whole future to look forward to. There is a quote which says, "You know your on the right path when you lose interest in the past." Keep looking at where you want to be in 5 years, if thats in university in a job use that as your goal to keep fighting, it doesn't have to be 5 years, it can be in 24 hours, a week, a month, etc. 

    You mentioned about speak to your GP about medication, is this something you feel will help in the long term? I understand your reasons to want to go on them but being on them for a small amount of time can be hard to come off them, its something to think about. 

    I'll just add this in, It has different ideas and a list of distractions you might not have thought of http://www.nshn.co.uk/downloads/Distractions.pdf

    Keep talking to us Butterfly, we are here for you. x

    Abi
    Some people think I am unhappy. I'm not. I just approach silence in the world that never stops talking.
    Butterfly23Jellyelephant
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hello @Abigail

    I appreciate you replying, at the minute the thoughts are still bad but I’m feeling a bit calmer than I was. I’ve been very agitated all day but I’m a little better now which I’m going to be happy about 😊

    Haven’t spoken to MH service no, still waiting to here from new CPN should be next week or week after at the latest. 

    In in terms of meds, in the long term I don’t think they will help me and I know in the short term they aren’t usually worth it. Only considering because couple of staff at college have told me that they might help, just while I get that support because I’m not coping at all, hardly going out and really slipping but understand that it isn’t helpful overall. 

    Butterfly 
    Aife
  • Millie2787Millie2787 🐶 💜 Community Champion Posts: 4,479 The Mix Elder
    Hey @butterfly23.

    How are you doing today ? 

    Its good to hear that Your new CPN should be in touch next week or the week after. How are you feeling About that ?  I know how long and frustrating the wait can be, but your nearly There now ❤️

    This is Something Beth taught me, our Urges come in waves and it’s around about halfway up that wave is where we Self harm instead of all most essentially “riding the wave out”. But if your able to “ride that wave” and allow yourself to reach the Peak of that urge that’s when it will begin to decrease and your notice as time progresses Those urges get less Intense, less frequent and less Long.( picture in spolier to help explain it ) 




     A good App to help with this is Calm Harm , they have a catolouge Of activités everything from creative to breathing excises to help you “ride that wave” . It also allows you to see when the urges are most frequent - morning, evening and afternoon, your able to keep a reflective diary after you’ve done each activity and it shows you which activités you use the most which more than likely means there the ones you find most helpful

    I hope today goes Better for you butterfly 

    Aimee :)
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
    AifeButterfly23
  • alice123alice123 Posts: 88 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hi @Butterfly23

    Thank you for opening up and talking to us. We are here for you.

    How are you doing today?

    I know how difficult this can be from personal experience and I just want to reiterate the excellent advice from @Abigail and @Millie2787. I also want to reiterate how strong you are to be facing this and finding options that could work for you.

    My advice is to go to the GP and be as open and candid as you can about how you're feeling. Although this can be tricky, it allows you to fully explore your options and what will work for you. Medication is a tricky topic as it is such a personal decision, therefore if you are considering it, discussing the pros and cons with your GP is the best way forward (or at least, it was for me)!

    Sending hugs <3 
    Siobhan
  • SiobhanSiobhan Posts: 14,450 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Heyy!

    thanks for sharing!  How are you today? Do you know what helped you to be less agitated last week?

    Its definetly hard and annoying when try but either not working or no ones helping. Youre doing really well to keep going and seeking that support. 

    Have you been to your gp about meds yet? Or seen your cpn? Meds can sometimes help but they can sometimes make things worse tbh and think always important to know that. 

    Hope youre doing okay today <3 were here for you
    “ i think that deep down you still think life is worth living. It’s no where near over for you. You’re in pain. The thing you lost, Is the same thing that can stop that pain”
    Butterfly23
  • StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 953 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey Butterfly :heart:

    Just wanted to send you some hugs, and let you know we are always here for you :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

    Butterfly23
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Thank you for the support everyone <3
  • StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 953 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey Butterfly :heart:

    Just wanted to check in to see how you're doing? Sending hugs :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

    Butterfly23
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @Stephanie

    I am doing a lot better than when I put this thread up, a little anxious today but my mood isn't too bad :) 

    Thank you for asking <3  
  • SiobhanSiobhan Posts: 14,450 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Hugss x glad to hear youre feeling little better, hope it lasts or improves. Always here when you wanna talk x
    “ i think that deep down you still think life is worth living. It’s no where near over for you. You’re in pain. The thing you lost, Is the same thing that can stop that pain”
    Butterfly23
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Thank you @Shaunie
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